Feel (26 page)

Officers swarm around us.

“I need a medic, now!” I scream at them.  “She can’t die!”  Blood pools between my fingers as I keep pressure on Griffin’s wound.  Staring at Saige, I will her to wake up, to look at me. 

She doesn’t. 

“Get a medic!” I demand, “One here and one is needed at the garage entrance.”

The pain ripping through my heart is maddening.  “Stay with me, pretty girl!  You can’t leave me alone.  Do you hear me, Saige!  Don’t you leave me!”

Griffin’s eyes close and I look in horror at Saige. 
No.no.no.no.no!  I can’t lose her.  Not Saige. Please – not Saige!
  Jerking Saige into my arms.  Griffin’s blood smears all over her body as I rock her against my chest, weeping, “NO!  You can’t die, Saige.  I need you!”

Saige

Sorrow.  Pain.  Hell.  That’s all I feel as bitter anguish rampages my soul. 

Then, there’s Jensen. 

His voice. 

Calm. 

Heaven.

I can’t feel inside him, although everything inside of me screams to – prays to.  Fear of losing Jensen again spirals through me at a devastating momentum.  Griffin’s weakening, but his hold on me tightens. 

I need you.

Jensen needs me. 

The first time he told me that slams into my chest as I fade…

Jensen’s breathing is ragged as he kneels down on the ground in front of me.  Blood is splattered across his knuckles when he raises his hand to tilt my chin so I’ll look at him.  Dark green eyes find mine, then follow my gaze to the red drip that paints a stain on the dirty concrete. 

“It’s okay, pretty girl,” he exhales, still breathless from the fight.  Wiping the back of his hand against his jeans, he clears the blood from his raw flesh.  “He won’t hurt you again,” he promises, his soft, caring smile so out of place but yet so fitting when he takes my hand.

“You’re going to get suspended, Jensen,” I whisper, my eyes still wide from what he did to Kevin.

“Don’t worry about me, Saige.” He rakes his hand through his hair, making the blonde disheveled locks look even sexier than before. 

Stopping myself from reaching up and swiping a few strands that fall back across his forehead and hanging just above his eyes, I make myself pull away from the gaze that makes everything inside of me quake.  “If you get suspended, you can’t show your bike in the competition,” I remind him.  “Kevin didn’t hurt me,” I lie, hiding my pain from where Kevin pushed me down for a reason that he never divulged.  None of them ever tell me why they despise my existence.  I guess it’s because I’m – me.  They’re scared of what I can do.  Everyone who knows is.  Except Jensen.

“Bullshit,” he whispers, his lips tilting before he brushes them against the corner of my eye.  Carefully inspecting me, his red knuckles turn white when he coils his fist.  “I saw how hard you landed,” he pauses, clenching his jaw as he tries to tame his temper.  “I heard it.”

“What if he goes to the principal?” I press, absently chewing on my bottom lip and glancing at the side entrance of the school.

“He won’t,” he insists, rubbing his thumb gently across my lip.

“How do you know that?”

“Because, then the prick wrestling captain will have to own up to knocking a girl to the ground,” he growls, looking over his shoulder at Kevin, who is pushing one of his friends away when he tries to help him to his car.

“Please, don’t fight because of me anymore,” I plead.  “You deserve to be in that competition.  You need to win this next round so you can make it to the finals.”

“Nah,” he grins, brushing his fingers against my cheek, “I don’t need that.”  He pulls me to my feet.  “I was going to wait to give you this at our spot later but I’m going to give you your birthday present now.”

Not able to hide my smile, I cock my left brow, giving him a playful warning glare, “You weren’t supposed to get me anything.”

“You’ll like this,” he winks.  Slipping his hand into his jacket pocket, he pulls out a thick, brown leather bracelet and snaps it together on my wrist. 

  His hand lingers on mine as I brush my fingers against the soft leather, my heart pulsing from every incredibly amazing sensation he makes me feel.  “I love it!” I grin, wrapping my arms around his waist as he pulls me into him.  “Thank you, Jensen.”

“You’re welcome, pretty girl.”  We stay like this, tangled in each other’s embrace a few minutes before he steps back, taking my arms gently in his hands.  His bright green eyes turn soft, serious.  “Don’t worry about the competition, okay?  There’s only one thing I need, Saige.”

My breath becomes shallow puffs when he steps closer. 

“I need you.  Only you and nothing else.”

“Dammit, Saige!  Don’t you leave me!  I need you!”  Jensen’s words echo inside my head and my heart aches from the agony lacing his voice. 

My body jerks, my head rocking when he shakes me.  Hot drips splash against my cheek and neck. 

His voice is low, hoarse as it rumbles against my ear, “
I need you
.”

The darkness begins to fade as I’m pulled towards Jensen.  Slowly blinking, my heavy eyelids open, pushing through the fog.  Jensen’s head is pressed against my neck and I feel his tears running down my skin.  Tangling shaky fingers through his blonde hair, I want to take his pain away.  I can’t bear for him to hurt like this. 

“Saige?” Jensen’s eyes are red and look so damn sad, it rips through every piece of me.  “Saige!”  His mouth falls against my face, peppering kisses against my skin as tears continue to leave wet trails dripping down his chin onto my neck and chest.  Taking the sides of my cheeks in his hands, he continues to rock me in his lap.  “I didn’t lose you!”  He shakes his head, grinding his teeth, “I-I can’t lose you.”

I’ve never seen him so broken.  Too many emotions are swirling around, I don’t know what to feel.  Giving the best smile I can manage, I brush my finger across my leather bracelet.  “I’m not going anywhere.  I’ll never leave you alone.”

A spark of light begins to push through his darkened gaze, “For the love of God, woman - will you stop running towards bombs, already?”

Whatever he is going to say next is cut off when a medic yells ‘clear’ and presses two paddles against Griffin’s chest.  His body jerks violently then stills.  Jensen and I watch as the medics work on Griffin’s lifeless body.  I can feel the tension drain from Jensen’s grasp more with each shock that fails to revive Griffin.  Then, I see the dark fury rekindle in Jensen’s eyes at the same second I feel Griffin’s punishing void pulse through my veins again.  They brought him back. 
Why in the hell would they bring a monster like him back?

Jensen’s embrace engulfs me tighter as he watches them place Griffin on a gurney and into the back of an ambulance.  Cops surround us, but Jensen holds his hand out, silently glaring at them to stay back from me. 

The pulse beating in his heart thumps against my ear as I slide my arms around the back of his neck, trying to push the officer’s emotions out of me.  His soothing, woodsy scent lulls my senses into making me feel the peace he always provides.  I’ve loved his neck since the first time I’ve touched it, and the way it feels with his strong, masculine lines comforting all the chaos inside when he presses my cheek against the firm flesh below his chin.  He swallows and I can feel the sure, slow movement against my jaw.  I don’t know why, but it makes me calm.  Being with him, the strength of his arms wrapped around me as I’m sprawled in his lap makes me calm.  I was just pulled back from the edge of death in a garage of the building a psychopathic bomber with powers stronger than I ever knew existed tried to blow all to hell - and he still gives me peace. 

All peace shatters when I remember what happened.  “Andy!”

“They’re working on him now,” Jensen whispers reassuringly, slipping my fingers through his as we stand.  He shields my body as much as possible, putting his firm frame in front of me as the cops continue to circle us with guns pointing at our chests. 

I don’t know how many bullets they think it will take to kill us, but they are definitely going for overkill here.

Darrin and Josie make their way through the crowd with a man who looks like a cop but he’s dressed in plain clothes.  He flashes his FBI badge and nods towards us.  “They’re clear.”

Jensen’s questioning gaze lands on Darrin, but I don’t give a damn what he told the agent.  I just want to make sure Andy is okay and get the hell out of here.  I guess Jensen sees my need to check on Andy and he leads me back towards the entrance, but Andy’s already being loaded into another ambulance.  Relief pulses inside.  I can feel him. 

Sam runs towards us, throwing herself into Jensen’s arms, sobbing.  “Griffin aimed at me,” she cries and it’s hard to hear her words muffled against Jensen’s chest.  “Andy pushed me out of the way.”

Running my hand down her back, I lean against her, wrapping my arms as far around both her and Jensen as possible.  “He’ll be okay,” I murmur.  I don’t feel death.  I would if Andy weren’t going to make it. 
I pray like crazy that I’m right.

The past one hundred and forty-six hours have felt like a lifetime as I rest my head against the window.  The sky is splashed with vibrant pink and orange hues and I’m lost in the beauty, lost in feeling only my feelings after being savaged by everyone else’s for too long. 

“We’re almost home,” Jensen states in a low voice as he glances over to see if I’m still awake.

Home.  I love how he includes me with that word.  He says he has no powers, but he’s wrong.  He makes me feel loved.  No one can tell me there’s no power in that.  “I can’t wait,” I respond, grinning as Jensen pulls onto a gravel road that leads to a house in the middle of a large yard.  There are no other houses within sight, and my grin widens. 

I’m exhausted from the stress of the past week but also relieved.  Relieved and happy.  Andy’s going to make a full recovery and has moved in with Sam until he can manage on his own.  All sleepiness vacates my body in a heated rush when Jensen runs to my side of the car and sweeps me into his arms, laughing. 

  “What are you doing?” I squeal, giggling at the gleam burning bright green as he looks down at me.

“I’m carrying you over the threshold,” he states simply, like I should’ve known.

“But we’re not married, yet.”

“Soon, pretty girl.  We will be soon.”  Jensen balances me against his chest as he unlocks his door and carries me inside the house he bought thinking of me when we didn’t even know where I was. 

Those four years seem like a lifetime ago, too.  He carries me through the cozy living room to his bedroom. 
Our bedroom
.  My hand covers my mouth when he sets me down and I see how he had painted the walls the same sky blue we painted my room years ago.  There’s a picture sitting on the small table next to his bed that he took of us in the field.  We were lying down with the grass underneath our hair and we were so damn happy just being together doing nothing but talking and laughing like we’ve done so many times when he held his phone in the air and snapped a photo of us just as I turned towards him.  The love I see in my eyes as I look at him in the picture leaves me speechless.  I never knew I was that transparent.  Him having that image to look at every night before he fell asleep gives me comfort from how he at least had that memory while I was gone. 

“What do you think?” he asks, leaning against the island in the kitchen after he shows me the rest of his house. 

“I love it!  And not just because it’s secluded enough so all I feel is what’s inside of me.  I love it because everything about this house reminds me of the best times we shared.”  I think of the picture in the bedroom.  “Despite everything, it really was always just us wasn’t it?”

He gives me a soft nod.  “That’s all we needed.  Just us.  When we were together, all the complicated shit melted away.”

Uncomplicated.  Only us.  That’s how it is here in this small, simple, beautiful house he’s making our home. 

He waves his hand through the air at the whitewashed walls.  “We can paint them any color you want,” he offers, knowing I always tried to surround myself with bright, cheerful shades.

I shake my head, “No.  I love them just how they are.”  I don’t need the artificial happiness to soothe me anymore.  I have Jensen.  An overwhelming need to feel him, for him to feel me, sizzles through my body.  “Make love to me.”

Jensen’s gaze locks on mine.  His desire blazes and he doesn’t say a word as he takes my hand, holding it behind his back, as he leads me to the bedroom.  Taking the hem of my dress, he slides it over my waist, up my arms, and over my head before he lets it fall to the floor.

I press my frame against his naked chest, tracing my fingers down his tattoos while I feel every twitch of his hardened length pulsing against his jeans and the thin lace covering only the most intimate area of me – of what’s his. 

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs against my neck as his tongue slides up the side, twirling underneath the tingling lobe of my ear.  “How do you taste so damn good?”