Fear of God (Trials of Strength Book 1) (7 page)

*

My eyes opened arduously,
but I was desperate to escape the plaguing nightmares. Not for the
first time I begged the fates to make it all a dream. It wasn’t
reality, it couldn’t be. No such nightmare should be in the real
world. But I woke in the same room I had before, the tunnels under
the town. There was a vast decrease in the amount of people this
time though, and those who had survived were bloodied and staring
into space.

I tried to move, but an
uncomfortable feeling in my chest stopped me. I looked down to see
a white bandage wrapped around it. I gasped, tried to speak and
choked.

‘
Lucas?’ a
familiar voice whispered. Anna. ‘Hey, Terry, he’s
awake.’

She came into view, and I
was startled by the cut above her eye. I wanted to ask if she was
okay, but a bottle of water was brought up by her hand and she told
me to take a sip. It hurt and burned, but after I felt
better.

‘
Mr Bishop?’
Terry said as his face came into view, and his voice was hard and
unwelcoming. ‘How do you feel?’

I shook my
head. No words would come. This man had just lost his family. Their
faces flashed through my mind and tears gathered in my eyes. I
could have saved them. If I had just did
something
, they would have never ran,
would never be gone. Terry seemed to know what I was thinking and
cut me off.

‘
Don’t,’ he
whispered.

He changed the bandages
on my chest, checked over the stitched wounds, and asked a series
of questions. When he finished and was satisfied, he started
explaining the damage in a stony and factual tone with a face
devoid of emotion.

‘
The bullets
missed your vital organs and any major arteries. It also missed
your spine. Both bullets entered through your back and exited at
the front. Chris managed to get supplies, and hopefully the
antibiotics you’ve had should stave off any infection,’ he said.
‘The blood loss however was substantial, and you’re lucky to be
alive.’

He spat the last word
out, and Anna gave him a stern but sympathetic look. I was told to
watch my movements so I wouldn’t pull out the stitches. He left
straight after with whatever had been plugged into my
arm.

‘
Don’t take it
personally Luc-’ Anna started, but I cut her off.

‘
It is
personal,’ I gasped, tears falling. ‘It’s my fault.’

Anna looked conflicted
for a second, but she took my hand and squeezed.

‘
No,’ she
whispered. ‘No it’s not. You never placed those bombs. You didn’t
do this to our town, to the people here. This
isn’t
your fault.’

‘
I could have
stopped them from moving that way, I could have done
something,’
I choked
through clenched teeth. ‘But I just stood there like a scared
little boy and watched it happen.’

I hated myself. I hated
reality. I wanted to punch something, to break anything I could
land my hands on. Where was this feeling when I needed
it?

I am
useless
.

Anna could see she was
fighting a losing battle and shook her head. She never let go of my
hand, but she stared off into the distance.

‘
How long was
I out this time?’ I asked, realising I was unconscious more than
not.

‘
A little over
a week,’ she replied.

‘
What?’ I
gasped.

‘
Don’t worry.
Nothing’s changed. Well. We’re all a lot more sweaty and
disgusting, but other than that, there’s nothing new.’

After a while Chris
returned from a supply run, and Anna left to grab some food. I
looked at Chris and couldn’t hold back the jealousy that sprung up.
He was strong and could even leave the tunnels himself, but then
again, the man was surrounded in mystery and one person could slip
quietly through the streets compared to a group. He came over and
eyed me critically, his eyes full of disappointment. It made me
angry, but also guiltier. He asked how I was and left.

Anna came back over with
her gaze trained on Chris like a hawk. I couldn’t help but share
her suspicions, but Chris had saved this group more than should
have been necessary, and I couldn’t help but feel equally grateful.
My eyes returned to Anna, and a feeling of admiration washed over
me. Here was a young woman, likely no older than me, and her
strength was inspiring. Her face was composed and
focused.

‘
Thank you,’ I
told her, she smiled and asked what for. ‘You’re so strong. How do
you do it?’

She laughed, ‘Maybe
you’re still full of drugs.’

‘
Or maybe I’m
just pointing out the obvious,’ I said.

She gave me a lingering
look, and smiled.

I must have slept a
while, because raised voices shook me awake. Anna was gone and I
turned my head to look for the source of commotion. Four people
stood in one of the corners a few feet from where I lay on the
floor. They tried to keep their voices down, but Terry was
beginning to get agitated, and Paul looked furious. Anna was
confused and Chris looked troubled. Almost in unison their eyes
turned to me, and Chris motioned for them to follow him
over.

‘
We shouldn’t
tell him anything, the little coward, he might be-’ Paul stated in
a rush, but Anna interrupted.

‘
Keep your
mouth shut or I’ll shut it for you,’ she said, and Paul bristled
but she continued. ‘If what you’re saying is true, why shoot one of
their own at all?’

Chris agreed, and they
all fell silent once they stood beside me. Anna crouched and took
my hand. It was becoming a soothing habit. No one seemed willing to
start, and I’d had enough confusion to last a lifetime.

‘
What is it?’
I asked.

Terry and Paul looked
murderous with eyes wider than should be possible, and I began to
fear them more than the things that roamed the streets above. Anna
squeezed my hand.

‘
Tell him,’
Chris urged Terry. ‘He needs to know. It raises more questions, but
now is not the time to keep secrets and spread rumours.’

‘
They have
this theory,’ Anna said, but before she could elaborate, Terry
started.

‘
More than a
theory, Miss Gordon,’ he spat, his words just as cold to her as
they were to me; maybe they were to everyone now. ‘Let’s just say I
figured something interesting.’

‘
Very
interesting actually,’ Paul chimed.

‘
Lucas, do you
know what’s happening?’ Chris asked.

What?

‘
I thought
that was why you came over,’ I whispered, ‘to tell me.’

‘
He doesn’t
mean this, idiot,’ Paul said, and indicated the four of them. ‘What
did you and your group do, huh? What did you do to this town,
huh!?’

‘
Paul!’ Anna
said.

‘
Aw, shut up,
Anna,’ Paul turned on her. ‘Look at the facts
goddammit.’

‘
Two bullet
wounds is not a fact for anything other than pain, you
stupid-’

‘
Enough!’
Chris bellowed. ‘Terry!’

‘
Your bullet
wounds, Mr Bishop,’ Terry said, he had become very formal. ‘I found
myself wondering something. If you will, Mr Ritchie, tell me, how
easy is it from the sort of distance those snipers were at would it
be, to not only miss vital organs and arteries, but also miss the
spine, all of which without messing up and hitting another part of
the body?’

‘
Practically
impossible,’ Chris sighed. ‘Someone would have to have major
training and skill to do it.’

‘
So, it
probably wasn’t one of those monsters in town,’ Terry continued.
‘It had to be an extremely talented and calm
individual?’

‘
Yes,’ Chris
replied.

‘
So in
essence, if this talented and careful individual had aimed to kill
Mr Bishop, he would be dead right now.’

Chris nodded even though
it wasn’t a question. Terry and Paul looked satisfied, but I still
didn’t understand.

Anna sensed this and
said, ‘Lucas, someone took extra care when they shot you. Someone
took their time, making sure not to damage anything severe. Someone
made sure, Lucas, that their shots wouldn’t kill you.’

My hairs stood on end,
and it all clicked into place.

‘
Now,’ Paul
whispered, ‘who the hell do you work for?’

The
Suspicion

For a while I just stared
at them all. My mouth was wide, and my mind raced with the
accusation. They thought I worked with the people who had done this
to everyone, Paul’s son, and Terry’s family, all of
them.

It hadn’t
taken a great leap to reach the conclusion that this
‘
apocalypse’
was
no chance event. With the strange call, bombs blocking our exit,
and snipers forcing us underground, there was something bigger
behind it, something human. The chill that realization invoked was
painful, the thought that someone, some group, could be behind it
all was overwhelming.

‘
What?’ I
asked for the fiftieth time.

Paul’s anger had mounted
steadily each time I asked, and Terry was expressionless. Both
looked on the edge of exploding despite their opposite expressions,
and it was Anna who saved the day.

‘
What
we’re
asking
,’ she
said as she stared down the two men, ‘is do you know who’s behind
all this, are you a part of it, are you being
forced
into anything?’

The way she said ‘forced’
was haunting, but I shook my head and my mind spun from the
speed.

‘
No!’ I
gasped. ‘I have nothing to do with this!’

‘
But you know
who, don’t you?’ Paul spat. ‘You know something! I know what’ll
make you talk!’

I just carried on shaking
my head, and that seemed to be enough for Paul. Anna screamed and
stood in a blur. Paul’s hand raced behind his back, but Chris was
faster. Before Paul reached his gun, Chris had it aimed at his
head.

‘
You think you
know something?’ Chris asked. ‘You’ve already condemned him and all
you have is a maybe this, out of a hundred possible
reasons?’

Paul’s face had turned
white, his breathing ragged. The previous snarl that accompanied
his rage was gone, and terror had filled its place. Terry remained
impassive, but his gaze was levelled on me. Anna shook, more from
anger than anything, and I continued to stare.

‘
We will not
spark a witch hunt, we will
not
raise our weapons on each other,’ Chris whispered.
‘This could all be a rouse to unsettle us, like the phone call. To
make us turn on each other. The next time you pull a gun on
anyone
here, I’ll put you
down. Do you think you
understand
that?’

Paul nodded and Chris
lowered the gun. The two anger-filled men walked away, Paul to his
remaining son, and Terry over to the corner, his eyes never leaving
mine.

He blames
me
,
and for good
reason.

I tried to breath. Anna
sat back down, muttering curses under her breath. Chris still held
the gun.

‘
I hope for
your sake that you’re telling the truth,’ he said.

‘
Speaking of
truth,’ Anna vented, ‘perhaps you could fill the gaps. Lucas isn’t
the only one here with secrets, Chris. There’s too much unexplained
surrounding you.’

Chris just smiled.
‘You’re still alive, sweetheart, aren’t you?’

Anna gave me some water,
and urged me to get some rest. I slowly passed into sleep, with
guns plastered on my eyelids.

*

I tired of waking up deep
underground with the only way to tell the time being a few
wristwatches. Most of the mobiles had long since died. Anna sat
against the wall to my left, her eyes closed and her face smooth
and emotionless. She was so innocent that it hurt to think of how
we were all changing, of how much we needed to give up to survive.
I spied Chris in a corner, and as quietly as I could, got to my
feet. It wasn’t too bad, a dull throbbing resided in my head and
chest, but otherwise I felt able to move. Terry had done a great
job, despite his emotions towards me. I felt both guilty and
grateful, as per usual.

It struck me again as I
made my way over that Chris had saved my life more than once. I was
grateful, but instead of guilt like Terry, I felt just as
suspicious as Anna. This man and his scarred face had secrets; the
guns, the tunnels, and his ability to act fast under extreme
duress; what if he was working with the enemy?

Stop it. He
has saved us all multiple times. Without him, the group would
crumble.

People stared nervously
at me as I passed them. They didn’t look menacing, but they moved
away as I approached. I reached Chris, his hand on his chin as he
leaned against the wall, deep in thought, and I felt bad pulling
him from it.