Fall (Roam Series, Book Two) (2 page)

Losing West brought
regular, unexpected torrents of pain to my chest, and the heartache, combined with morning sickness, had me rushing to the girl’s restroom to vomit.

I closed the toilet lid and sat down, grateful for the empty bathroom. Hugging my backpack securely, I thought back over the past two months. The night of my first doctor’s appointment, I had called Logan after drafting and re-drafting
a text to him fifty times. Finally, I deleted the text and pulled up his number. Before I lost my nerve, I hit
call
.

He answered in one ring. “This is Logan.”

“Hi.” My voice cracked, and I silently chastised myself for the lack of control. “It’s, um, me, it’s Roam.”

“How did it go?” He asked, sounding distracted, as if he was driving.

“I am. Pregnant, I mean.”

It wasn’t until the crawling
lightening vines invaded my vision that I realized I was holding my breath. Counting to ten, I breathed deeply, waiting for him to speak.

“Well, that’s good, right? We have this whole damn world to save, so take care of yourself,” he finally said. “How are you feeling?” he asked, and I was taken off guard by his sudden, genuine concern.

“I’m just… tired. Really, really tired.” I admitted.

“Eating?”

“I have to- the doctor said I’m underweight.”

“No kidding.” Sarcasm was clipped, and I heard him open and shut the car door. “Well, we need to talk about some details. Want to go to dinner tonight?”

Stunned, I struggled to speak. “I- sure… where?”

“I’ll pick you up. Just be ready at seven, okay?”

“Okay.”

That evening, he’d taken me to a local
restaurant minutes from West’s empty house. The stone façade of the winery was lit in a traditional Tuscan style against a large, man-made lake. The water features and fountains in the lake created spraying arcs behind the terrace where we sat.

“I got a job- finally,” he added. I had no idea
that he was even looking for a job. I stared at Logan as though he was a stranger.

“Really? Where?”

“After school and weekends, at
Strike
.”
Strike
was an indoor batting cage less than twenty minutes from Madison. “My coach let me know that they were hiring. When it starts to snow, it gets pretty busy.”

“Congratulations,” I said awkwardly, knowing that
he intended for most of his paycheck to go to the tiny, black bubble on the ultrasound snapshot.

“Yeah.”

We ordered, and I chose my favorite Alfredo pasta. “How is… everything?” I asked, fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

He sat back, his dark, brown eyes catching in the candlelight from our table. “You know. Busy. I wanted to talk to you about everything. Like I said, I want to make sure you know
that I’ll take care of the bills. I don’t want your dad doing it, and I don’t want him thinking I’m not taking care of my responsibilities.”

I flushed, swallowing hard. “But it’s not your responsibility, Logan. West… he…,”

He stared at me coldly, his eyes turning a shade closer to black. I lost the ability to form words. “I don’t want to talk about him. At all. Understand?”

I clamped my fingers together.
“What do you want to talk about? Why are we here?” I demanded.

His face softened. “
I wanted to know how you would feel about us…dating.”

I sat back, stunned. The waiter brought us our dinner at that moment, leaving Logan’s words hanging in the air. I picked up my fork and began to twist the pasta ner
vously in the tines. My stomach edged on queasy. When the waiter finally left, I lifted my eyes. “Logan, I thought you were ‘done’ with me.”

He stared at me blankly for a moment before the color left his face. “Oh… no, Cam, I meant… I meant dating other people.”

At that point, the steam rising from the white Alfredo sauce, once at the top of my list of favorite foods, saturated my nose. I gagged, unable to suppress the bile rising in my esophagus. “Oh- I have to go…,”

“No, don’t run. Please, I’m so sorry.
I didn’t mean to hurt you…,”

“No, I…,” I covered my mouth and ran for the
barrier along the lake. Everyone on the terrace turned as I threw up over the railing. Logan was at my side in seconds, guarding me from the sympathetic- but disgusted- eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“It’s the pasta, it’s making me sick…,”

“You love Alfredo pasta.”

“Not anymore,” I managed to whisper, breathing deeply. The crisp, early autumn air helped calm my churning insides. “I’m sorry, I’m just going to leave. Here,” I made it back to the table for my purse, rummaging inside for the twenty dollar bill I’d brought. “I have to go.”

“I’m not taking that, Roam. I drove
, I’ll leave too, just hold on…,”

“No! No, I don’t want to go with you,” tears threatened
, but my pride beat them back down into their ducts where they belonged. I dropped the twenty to the table and rushed to the door, running by the time I reached the parking lot. My house was over ten miles away, but I couldn’t imagine getting into Logan’s car and listening to him talk about dating other people. I knew Abby Lawrence was already vying for his attention; I was sure Logan had her on his mind.

He
eventually caught up with me, insisting he drive me home. I obliged, far too tired to walk any further. The ride back to my house was silent. Finally, as he pulled into my driveway, I turned to him.

“Date whoever you want, Logan. If West was still here, I would be with him.”

The atmosphere inside his Camry turned to ice. He reached across me and opened the door, careful not to touch my stomach. His face was inches from mine.

He said nothing.

I waited a second before pushing the door open, getting out and going into the house.

I hadn’t spoken to Logan since that day, almost two months ago. He texted once a week, on Sunday afternoon, the same words each time.

Do you need anything from me

No
salutation, no punctuation, no emotion. I responded back each time with the same cold, one worded answer.

No.

I saw Abby and Logan in the hallways at school together, laughing, sometimes holding hands. If he saw me, he never gave any indication; I was a ghost to him, a memory of the past better forgotten. He spent his days with Abby…

And
his nights dreaming about killing me.

The bell rang to end first period, and several girls entered the restroom. I left quickly, feeling more composed a
s I arrived at my locker. Twisting the combination lock, I was vaguely aware of someone to my left. I glanced to my side after turning to the final number.

Logan
leaned against the empty locker, shifting his book bag over his shoulder. “Hey. Can I talk to you for a minute?”

I shrugged, too tired to think of something witty- or sarcastic- to say. “What’s up?”

He cleared his throat, glancing around. “I wanted to invite you to dinner Thursday. With my parents.”

Thanksgiving at the Rush’s was an annual event, and I had spent many years with them while my dad watche
d football and enjoyed the leftovers that I brought back home for him. Last year, our first time together at the table as boyfriend and girlfriend, had left me with hope for a future- and a family- together.

This year, I had to steady myself by hanging on
to the combination lock for support. “You’re kidding, right?”

He narrowed h
is eyes. “No, I’m not kidding. It’s my parent’s rule. Family only.”

Is he referring to me as family?
“Logan, do you really think that’s a good idea? I’m sure Abby doesn’t,” I whispered, tucking my books securely against my chest.

“Don’t worry about Abby.”

“I don’t, but maybe you should.”

“You told me to date.”

“Of course I did. I told you what you wanted to hear.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means you weren’t asking my permission because you love me, you were asking to be
nice
.”

Our hissing whispers drew a crowd of nonchalant glimpses from behind locker doors.

“You wanted to be with someone else. So where did that leave me?”

“I made choices, but I refuse to let you punish me for them for the rest of my life,” I fought heated tears.

He sighed, looking down at his feet. Finally, he lifted his eyes and met mine. “I’ll pick you up at three. I don’t want you walking down the icy roads.”

His words set fire to my temper. “Thank you for the invitation, but no thank you.” I turned and hurried toward my statistics class. I could sense that he was following me.

“
Roam
.”

Something in the way he called my name made me stop, frozen in the middle of th
e clearing hallway. He walked in front of me, facing me squarely. I widened my eyes, my heart clamoring. “I need to see you. You can’t possibly know what it’s like to have these dreams every night. I feel like I’m going crazy. I need to spend time with you… even just as friends… before I…
lose it.
”

He reached for my hand.

I remembered the few dreams that I had before I was pregnant, dreams that involved Logan- the Immortal Soul Alter- hurting and killing me. The dreams were vivid, like hallucinations, and had contributed to my decision to be with West and not Logan.

I hadn’t dreamed in months- about anything. Sleep had become a welcome escape, a void of time to disappear from this world and wait in darkness.
The bell rang.

My fingers touched his. He gathered
my hand, holding it tightly.

By now, the hallways had cleared. “I told Abby I can’t see her anymore,” he whispered, taking a step closer. I lifted my eyes to his. “
I can’t see anyone but you.
”

I resisted the urge to throw myself into his arms.
How convenient for me,
I reprimanded myself, taking a breath to steady my thoughts. Just when all is lost, Logan rides in on his white horse to save the day. “I’ll come over,” I managed, squeezing his fingers gently. “What can I bring?”

He grinned. “Anything but fettuccini Alfredo.”

I smiled, the first genuine smile I’d given him in months.

“See you at
three.”

I took the school bus to the gym for my last kickboxing lesson before the holidays. Two months ago, Morgan had crossed the sisterly line into mother-dictator, refusing to let me participate in kickboxing while pregnant. I’d won the argument after citing several resources advocating prenatal
aerobic
kickboxing.
She doesn’t have to know it’s the martial arts version.

She picked me up from the gym, her college classes already over for the week. “Hey Socrates. You look sweaty.”

“Thanks,” I managed, taking long gulps of bottled water.

“Of all times, you choose
now
to start to learn kickboxing.” She shook her head, always wanting elaborate on an argument that was over long ago.

“It’s safe, Morgan. Dr. Fairfield said as long as I’m eating properly and not exerting myself, it’s actually really good for me. I’ve already gained seven pounds. Seven pounds in two months is
a lot.”

“It’s because I’m spending all day Sunday cooking for you and dad for the week
while you study.”

“I’m helping,
but I’m still learning. You know I burn everything.”

“You burn everything because yo
u get distracted with a book- or fall asleep.”

“I can’t help that I’m tired,” I shot defensively, redoing my messy pony tail.

“I know.”

We sat in silence for a while. Finally, I cleared my throat. “Logan invited me to the Rush’s for dinner Thursday.”

Morgan lifted one eyebrow, keeping her eye on the road. “Thanksgiving? What about
Abby?
” She said Abby’s name with such vehemence, I almost laughed

“He says they’re over.”

“Riiight.”

“Anyway, I said I’d go.”

“You really think that’s a good idea?”

“It’s not the best idea, but I think it’d be worse if I didn’t.”

“When are you going to tell me why you two broke up?” She demanded, turning onto our street. “There had to be some kind of event. Something had to have happened to ruin what you two had.”

Well, I slept with someone else, fell in love with him, and then Logan trapped him in 1977.

“Just… everything.”

“
Everything
is still here, Roam. You know if you’re going to make anything work with Logan, you have to talk about
everything
.”