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Authors: Vanessa Buckingham

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Again I felt that pain,
the tear at my chest and I saw his eyes tear with blood. I was saddened by the
news he had given me. I was officially missing. I was not entirely sure what
all that entailed for me or what the future held. I knew I could not stay in
New Orleans. Sooner or later we would run into each other and how would I
explain my absence. I felt Jack hand as he gently wiped them away and asked
that I not feel that pain in his presence.

“No promises,” I tell
him.

Jack turns away from me,
with a somber expression on his face.

“Salome, are you angry
with me?” He gently asks, his voice is but a whisper.

“No why would I be angry
with you?” I gently ask him.

“We have talked of many
things but this,” he tells me, “your new life. I know you must feel overwhelmed
by your senses, but how are you coping with all of this.   

His question stunned me.
This was not something I was prepared to talk about. It was too soon for me. I
was missing my family. I could still hear their laughter in my mind. I was
still unsure which direction life would take me. I knew I no longer had a family
to go back to. I also had no tie to Jack either, other than as creator and
creation. There was nothing to keep me here.

“Jack,” I begin, “it will
take some time, some adjustment,” I tell him. “This is so different, so
confusing. I am not sure I even know which direction I am going. I feel so
alone in a new world. There is no place for me here anymore. I can no longer be
with my family, other than you being my creator, I have no tie to you. I am
orphan in a brand new world,” I explain to him.

 Jack offers to take me
somewhere faraway so I can be normal, or whatever normal is for our kind. Jack
is concerned I will be out and about and be recognized. How will I explain to
people what happened to me? I agreed to go away. Jack said we could leave in a
few weeks, only because he needed the time to have the necessary documents
prepared for me. A new name, new life. I have been born again, in a sense. I
agreed to go away with him. It would ease the temptation to go find my family,
but not fully make it go away.

In the meantime, Jack
provided me with an allowance to purchase clothes or whatever I needed. Mostly
I bought what I wanted, it’s what I used to do before. Retail therapy some
would call it. I bought beautiful gowns and accessories to go with them. I also
bought blue jeans and tee shirts. I was unsure how a cut and color would go
since I was still new to this life. I opted against pushing it. With my luck my
hair would probably grow back in front of the stylists.

I spent my time mainly in
Jack’s house. Within in days I had run out of books to read. I loved the
classics. I was amazed he had many books that were very old and delicate. I was
afraid they would disintegrate in my very hands. The only time I ever went out
was with Jack to hunt.

We are scheduled to leave
in a few weeks. When Jack told me we were going to travel throughout Europe, I
became ecstatic. I worried because I was not too sure what he meant by
traveling throughout Europe. I wondered where exactly we would be going. Jack
kept our itinerary secret. A surprise for me I guess I would find out soon
where we are headed.

Deep down I still longed
for the life I no longer had, but at this point leaving would be a better
option for me. Jack worries I will take off and go find them, but I know I can
only save them from a distance. Jack had reason to be worried, I was deeply
tempted to go see my family.

*****

It has been a week since
I last fed. This has Jack concerned but curious. According to Jack newborn
vampires tend to want to eat everything in sight like a Chinese buffet. Not me.
I happen to be the one that is different. It was always an ongoing joke back
then with Axel. Everyone could get a cold and by the time it got to me it would
be the flu. Stranger things have happened. Since my new life, I had fed on a
handful of souls, not many. I just did not care much for the taste of human
blood. It saddened me to take a life regardless of their of guilt.

 With a heavy heart, I
have come to accept my new position in life. I am at the top of the food chain,
and I must deal with the cards I have been dealt. So make lemonade from lemons.
I was a shark in a world full of fish. I know I am going to have to go feed
soon before we board the plane. I just keep procrastinating. I’ll let Jack know
we can go out tonight and I will make sure to feed again before we leave.

 

6. FOR WHAT IT IS WORTH

A

 FEW DAYS BEFORE OUR
DEPARTURE, I sat deep in thought on the veranda, when Jack appeared breaking
into my thoughts. He looked at me, more out of concern. I turn to look at him
and for the first time I realize how young he looks. Yet his hazel eyes give
away his age. I had wondered how old he was. From his library collection, I
could tell he was far older than his appearance and far wiser. Jack was able to
get me a passport, birth certificate, driver’s license and social security
card. All for the life of me were forgeries. Not just one set either. There
were several with different identities. I was to pose as his daughter on some
and his fiancé on others. It just depended as to where we planned to go, or if
we had to get out of Dodge fast.

Jack’s generosity towards
me had stunned me. He gave me my own bank accounts and credit cards. I had
never had so much money in my past life and now I was unsure what to do with
it. At first, I tried to give it back, but he claimed the paperwork was already
settled. He asked that I consider it sort of like compensation and the money
was mine whether I chose to stay with him or not. I wanted to cry from his
kindness, but out of vanity I did not want to ruin another outfit. It was a
large fortune he had given me. I was unsure as to how to thank him. I wrapped
my arms around his middle and hugged him. I may have sent him into shock since
he was not exactly sure what a hug was by his confusion. I pulled back and
smiled at him.

“Jack, do you remember my
first meal with you?” I asked breaking the awkward silence.

“Yes. Why do you ask,” he
looks at me questioningly?

“Well his thoughts have
been plaguing me,” I answered.

“His thoughts what do you
mean,” he asked.

“I have been wondering
about them since that day,” I told him.

“What do you mean?” He
asked me again.

“Jack while I fed off of
him I heard his thoughts. Thoughts of his wife and children, and anger towards
me. I hear the thoughts of others around me, including yours. I assumed it was
just my imagination but then I realized when we are alone together, I hear your
thoughts, your unasked questions, your unvoiced opinions, and sometimes I don’t
get anything from you. It’s as though you are thinking of something you don’t
want me know so you block your thoughts. When this happens I do not know if you
are being honest with me,” I blabbed this whole confession to him and looked
away in embarrassment.

“Salome, I have been
honest with you since the beginning. Why do you ask?”

I can hear the maid in
the kitchen preparing a meal she knows we will not eat and wonders why we
bother wasting food. But you, at this moment are wondering “What the hell is
wrong with me.”

“Theoretically, you hear
me because I am your father, your creator. I will also know when you are in
trouble, when you are mad, angry, sad, and happy. You will feel the same for
me. As for hearing everyone else, that I have no explanation. There are others
who are like you and I, but not very many, he tried to explain.” I was not sure
if he was at a loss for an explanation. “Salome, I cannot tell you why that is.
You can hear the thoughts of others around you, while I can feel the emotions
around me. I know there will be a time when you will not want to feel or hear
the things you do. In the beginning I had only thought you could hear the
thoughts of others only now you have confirmed that theory for me,” he explained.
 

“My
bella,
” he
continued, “the only thing I can honestly think of is that we have a gift,
where you can hear the thoughts of others, I can feel the emotions of those
around me. Also I has just learned that I may somehow be able to block you out
of my thoughts. I wonder…” he left off in mid-sentence unsure of where this
conversation was headed.

“I had heard of others
like us with unusual gifts but never had I came across one like you,” he
completed his thought. I could tell by his expression that he, himself was also
curious. He must have never put much though in his ability or the ability of
others. I could not imagine why he never considered it. I found myself curious
about my own abilities now that I knew they were there. They were subtle, but
still there. I guess it would just take time for them to develop.

“You mean there are more
like me, I mean,” I blurted out.

“Yes. But to find one,
such as yourself, by accident what are the odds of that.
Mon Cherie
you
are a gifted vampire; I wonder what else you can do. The ones I have met
through my travels have other talents such as tracking, mind powers opposite of
what you can do. They disable their prey with a look. I just had never bothered
to fully understand them. The only powerful vampire in our entire existence is our
mother she has them all,” he explained.

“Our mother,” I interrupt
his thoughts.

“Yes our mother, Lilith
is the oldest and most powerful vampire in existence. She has powers I have
never dared dream to have. She has them all,” he tells me.

 “Our mother! What do you
mean our mother has them all?” I excitedly questioned.

“She can fly, she knows
the truth from a lie, and she can track., Our mother is also dangerous in one
way. she feeds on the mortal and immortal alike. She does not waken often. She
only wakens to administer the severest of punishments for the severest of
crimes,” he explained.

“Crimes,” I interrupted
him.

“Never reveal yourself to
the mortals. We must stay in the shadows of the night. Salome, with your gift
we can hunt with ease, just the thought of the possibilities is exciting,” he
exclaimed.

“Tell me Jack. What are
you keeping from me?” I asked.

He looks at me and he
tells me everything.

“I have spoken with you
husband Axel,” he looks away from me as he tells me. I put my hands to his
cheeks and turn him back to me. “I did not want to burden you with more sorrow.
I wanted to spare you from more pain.” At the end he looks away, but not before
I notice the red brim of his eyes,

At first I was angry. I
was angry that he chose to keep this away from me. This anger ebbed away
quickly once I realized he did it for my sake and he is whisking me away to
protect them from me. I could not stay angry at him for this. It was bound to
happen. I just had not been expecting it. I delve deeper into my families
wellbeing. I wanted to absolve Jack from this burden.

“Jack, can you tell me
how they are doing?” I hesitantly ask him,

Jack’s blood stained face
turns to me.

“They are mortal, they
will heal and begin to move forward. For what it’s worth you have a beautiful
family.” At this he embraces me.

“Thank you, Jack. Thank
you for telling me. Just promise me no more secrets,” I begged of him.

“I promise no more
secrets,” he gently tells me. “I never thought to feel such an emotion in my
entire existence. Since I saved you, I have begun to feel more human than I
have ever felt. It is so new to me, this emotion. It scares me.”

“There is nothing to fear
from feeling human,” I explain. “Sorrow, anger, and joy are all part of being
human. It is a different type of emotion than the one you get from hunting. I
bet you have not felt love in such a long time,” I regretted the words once
they left my lips. I saw a certain memory pass through his mind. He was a man
who had loved once, along time again and he also lost that same love.

I put my hand in his to
show him comfort and instead it is he who is comforting me.

“My wife died in child
birth when I was still mortal. With you in my life, I have remembered what it
feels like to live and love…I am suddenly more human now than ever”

I felt sad for him and a
tear threatened to fall and as awkward as it was for him he wrapped his strong
arms around me in a hug.  

7. MAD WORLD

I

N MY HUMAN LIFE I HAD
FEARED travel by air. I preferred to stay grounded. I also feared travel by
sea. So tomorrow is the first time I get on a plane and travel to another
country. I know if anything happens, such as the plane crashing that I will get
out unscathed. The fun in being a vampire is the feeling of invincibility. I
love to run; the freedom it allows me gives me this electrifying thrill. I
discovered that I can run to Florida in minutes and the same to Texas. I would
rather run and swim my way to London, but Jack won’t hear of it. According to
him, we have to be civilized and take the plane just like normal people do.

Jack has chartered a private jet to fly us out. We
both decided that I am not ready to be in the air with a bunch of innocent
humans. No matter how controlled I felt my hunger was, I still posed a serious
risk to them

To be honest, I actually do not prefer human blood
and no matter what or who I hunt, it pains me. I actually tried the alternative
and did not succeed. Feeding on animals does little to satiate the burning
hunger inside. Animal blood makes me hunt more. It takes a lot of animal blood
in order to be able to get a day or two in between feedings.

The pain of taking a life, regardless of how evil
the person is pains me. I think this is why I prefer not to hunt. I seek to
maintain my humanity, but it is near impossible to avoid having to feed on
human blood. I plan to hunt one last time tonight in order to be able to
survive the trip to England. I could feel the pain from my hunger I needed to end
the torture. I had a special hunt planned out for this night. The last man who
destroyed my life. This man is the last of them.

Jack and I prepare for the hunt. I dress in the
usual jeans, red-shirt and black leather knee high boots. I had trouble wearing
heals in my previous life, now I am swift and as graceful as a ballerina. I met
jack at the bottom of the stairs. He looks gorgeous in his grey suit. With the
lilac button up shirt and matching tie. I was afraid to breath. If my heart
still beat, I was sure he would hear it. I was glad that it no longer did. I
was glad I no longer blushed. It was as though I was seeing him for the first
time. I quickly looked away from him. I look toward the mirror on the mantel.

I heard him draw in his breath. He blocked me out
of his mind and for that I was grateful for that one act. I could only wonder if
he was sensing my emotion. I thought back to the plan. We would separate the
one from the crowd. Thanks to Jack’s intel we knew where to look, Jack knew the
plan. One last man and he would be mine. I had waited for this one. He was a
coward of a man. He had been in hiding, but the idea of hiding from an unknown entity
clouded his judgement. That and he was feigning for another kill.

“Rape and murder were his drug of choice. I gave
up wondering why he could not be like every other normal human being. Come to
think of it. I don’t think the idea of normal exists in my world anymore. In
the beginning I thought I was in hell. Then I thought I was crazy but I have
come to accept that there is truth behind every myth. The only thing you had to
do was seek out the truth, if you are brave enough. Or you could just tempt
fate, I thought sarcastically. I smiled to myself.

“You look like a cat that ate the canary,” he
stated.

“Just glad it is almost over,” I tell him.

“Are we ready to go,” he asks.

“Yes!” I exclaim, confident in the one word. To me
that one word meant more to me in this one moment. That one word would bring me
peace and I hope grant me some type of closure. It was a shame that the
monsters who destroyed me would get away with my murder. I would have enjoyed
seeing them in prison but since technically there is no body and no proof of my
death they would have continued to walk the streets of New Orleans free as a
jaybird. Death was just too easy for them. They would have to pray the price
one way or another. To me, God or whichever deity they happen to meet in that
eternal slumber.   

We step out into the cool Louisiana night. It had
just finished raining. The road was still slick. The smell of fresh rain
brought me back to another time, another life. I could picture drinking cool
lemonade while I sat on the covered porch with the sound of little feet.  

We turn onto Bourbon Street. I scan the thoughts
of the people on the street seeking the one. I knew he had been hiding since I
began to kill his friends one by one. I will never forget or forgive for all I
have lost.

Some time had passed, but not enough and I guess
he assumed he was safe, but not this night. I heard the flicker of his thoughts
and his thoughts are on a beautiful woman with red hair and green feline eyes.
She gives him that sly, all to coy smile. The one that tempted you to approach.

Slowly I make my way towards him, ever nearer to
the Ashes on the Bourbon, and I feel Déjà vu as I remember that night. It has
been only a few weeks since my change and yet I can remember it like if it was
yesterday. I calmly stalk my prey. Jack stays a short distance behind me. I
follow him into the bar. His mind still on the girl. I could see what he had
planned for her. If she knew his thoughts, she would have run far away from New
Orleans.

I interrupt the man and his intended victim. So
swiftly I am standing in front of him, blocking her view of him. I look at him
and give a sly smile. I grudgingly wrap my arms around his waist. I lift my
lips to his neck and I inhale deeply. If she only knew I was here to save her
from suffering the same fate that I had. I heard her snide mental comments,
when I captured his interest. I hear his confused thoughts. I appear familiar
to him, but he does not recall where we had met. Surely he would have
remembered me. I hear the girl hurl her insults and I ignore them with a smile.
I whisper in his ear and he follows me. They all did. I hope she realizes how
lucky she is this night.

My prey follows me out of the club. I could still
here the music only now the tune had change. It was as though the music
interpreted my anticipation. The change of the game. The reversal of roles. The
hunter had just become the hunted.

I lean next to his chest and I can smell his cheap
cologne and tobacco. The reminder alone is enough to drive me over the edge,
but I manage to keep it together.

“No witnesses and dispose of properly,” I remind
myself. He follows me down Bourbon Street, ever nearer to the darker, dangerous
side of the street. I push him up against the old hotel. I can smell the
discarded diapers on the driveway. The smell of stale beer. The stench of
putrid urine. This was the part of Bourbon Street no one in their right mind
would be at, at this hour. With that final thought I strike without his
realizing it.

I bite into his warm flesh and I feel his warm
blood filling me, warming me. Hearing his thoughts while I slowly take his life
and he thinks he has died and gone to heaven. I get one last glimpse of another
man. A man I do not recall, is standing near me in the St. Louis Cemetery. He
is standing there unnoticed by the others. I find this odd. The man has long
dirty blond hair pulled back into a leather band. He is middle aged and fit.
Something about him I could not place. I push the thought aside for now. As for
this low life death is where it ends for him. 

******

I fed some more this night. I believe I went
beyond gluttony that by the time I was done I could barely walk. Jack says I
must be careful even though I have my instincts in check and have never acted
as the newborn he expected, he is still concerned. There is no helping that.

“Jack relax, I promise I will not go Jack the
Ripper on you,” I jokingly tell him.

His eyes darkened and glared at me. I was unsure
of what I had done.

“Is it something I said?” I asked, before the
realization dawned on me.

“Jack,” I began, “please do not tell me that you
were Jack the Ripper.”

“How did you know?” He asked still glaring at me.

“I didn’t until now,” I hesitated.

Realization of my joke suddenly dawned on his face
and he smiled.

“So what happened in England, Mr. Jack the Ripper?”
I asked in a teasing manner.

“That would be my alter ego Hyde,” he answered.

We both laughed. That he would reveal something
about himself surprised me. I dropped the issue for now. If he wanted to talk
about it he would do so at his own time. I could sense he was not ready to open
up about it. I held his hand as we walked back to the house on the corner of
Ursuline and Bourbon Street.

The anticipation of traveling to Europe has been
near erupting inside me. To visit the places that I only dreamed I could go as
a mortal, it was so surreal. I still felt a longing for my old life, but I have
come to understand that my family is safer from me now and forever. The
sacrifices I make, this pain burns and tortures me every day that I do not get
to see them.

Jack makes sure to keep me busy these days. I have
met another vampire here in New Orleans, her name is Lorelei, a friend of
Jack’s. Lorelei has been amazing. She is more of a babysitter for me whenever
Jack is not at home. According to Lorelei she is younger than Jack and from
somewhere in Germany. Lorelei has a very colorful past that has become infamous.
Everything I had always thought was myth has proven to be true. I asked about
werewolves once. He scoffed at me; yet, he never fully answered me.

The ride to the airport was uneventful. When we
arrived, the plane was being prepped for our departure. Jack still felt unease
with me being a newborn vampire. I think he was afraid I would eat the crew and
passengers.

“Where is the trust, Jack? I asked him.

“I trust you, it is your newborn instincts I am
unsure of,” he tells me.

We met the pilot at the hanger. I was surprised
when the pilot addressed him as Jack De la Croix. It was awkward when Jack in
turn introduced me as his daughter Marie, even though I look nothing like him.
My skin was on the chalky olive side, almost like a permanent tan, where he is
fairer than I with a light tan I guess you would call it that. I guess when you
have been around you learn how to coexist with the humans.

As in Jack’s case. I knew Jack had money and I just
never realized how much. He has been generous with me as his prodigy and I
still had a difficult time accepting his generosity. I flashed my eyes in the
direction of the captain and I smile at hearing his inappropriate thoughts, at
this point he was also starting to question his sexuality. I shook my head. Now
there was an imagine I would like to avoid. I smile wide flashing the captain
my perfect pearly whites. All the while Jack looked at me questioningly.

“Later,” I tell him.

I was so excited about being on a plane much less
having the entire plane to ourselves. I had never been on one before more out
of fear that it would explode. But now as a vampire come to grips with the fact
that I am virtually indestructible I look forward to flying without fear. My
thoughts shift suddenly to my family and just as swiftly I force them away. I
apologize to Jack. I know it tears at him when I give in to these emotions.

We arrived at Heathrow Airport at dusk. From out
of the window, I can see the sun beginning to set. The sky looked so beautiful it
was awe inspiring. The airport was crowded, as travelers from every part of the
world ran from terminal to terminal trying to catch their plane. I had never
seen so many people from different countries and cultures all in one place. I
felt elated. I remember this feeling, I had it on my last night as a human. I
quickly set aside the memory. A quick glance at Jack and I could tell he was
feeding off of my energy right now. I am not sure if he ever felt this way. Childish
almost. We grabbed our bags and walked towards the exit.

As we walked, I noticed the stares from people. It
was not fear but disbelief that right in front of them a duo of the most beautiful
people they had ever seen walked before them. I enjoyed the thoughts out of
pure vanity. I was plain and imperfect in my human life. Now I was so full of
life, so excited but I still dreaded the thought that I would never know my
children. Never see them grow up, get married and have children of their own.
Jack must have read my emotion and I felt his hand on my shoulder. His hand
felt warm and electric, smooth as stone. Jack hands me my coat and scarf before
we exit. Props really. We don’t get cold or hot or uncomfortable. I had
gathered from Jack that London is his favorite hunting ground.

I know, hunting. Actually we are not in London to
hunt. Jack brought me to Europe as a diversion and since I am a history buff he
wanted me to see history in all its glory. We get into a cab silently and set
off for the King’s Cross Hotel. It seemed like an eternity that we were in the
car sitting quietly, motionless. I turned to the cabbie and I caught a glimpse
of his thoughts. He thinks there is something wrong with us as no one can sit
this perfectly still. To avoid the awkwardness, I engage Jack in small talk. He
caught on quickly. We talked about all of the sights we were going to see. I
was so animated when I spoke with him. All of this was a dream come true for
me, just not the way I had imagined it.  

 As we sat in the back of the cab talking, I heard
Jack’s thoughts and he was glad I could hear others. It was difficult to hear
him I had to really focus on him to hear his thoughts. When we arrived at the
hotel I was a bit in shock not what I was expecting. I was thinking we would be
staying somewhere more lavish. Jack explained it was to blend in. I did not buy
his reasoning, so I did not argue with him since we would only be here for a week
before we drove out into the country.

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