Dirty Lay (15 page)

       I had been home for a little over three months and Shine had gotten back last night but he rushed to visit Caramel and I hadn’t heard from him since.  I was leaving to go offshore in two days so I was hoping I would get to chill with my boys before I left.  Caramel was eight months pregnant so Shine wasn’t going back out until after she had the baby.  I couldn’t believe how happy he was about being a dad.  He was the complete opposite of me.  Here I was with one baby here and another one on the way and my feelings were the same as they were when I first found out.  

       I called Shine to see if he was up to chillin’ today and he answered on the third ring.

       “Wassup,” he answered.

       “Hey Shine, wassup Nigga!  What you got going on?” I asked.

       “I’m chillin’ with my boo; you know our baby is due in three weeks and she’s all uncomfortable and shit.  I’m just tryna make things a lil easier for her.  What you got going on?” he asked.

       “Nothing much, just wanted to know if you and Luke wanted to hang today?” I asked.

       “Well let me get back to you on that,” Shine said.

       “C’mon Man, I leave in a couple days.  I promise not to keep you out too late since yo ass got a curfew and shit!” I said.

       “Fuck you ma nigga!  But gimme a couple of hours to take care some things and I’ll be around there.  Besides I need to talk to you about anyway,” Shine said.

       “Alright Man, see ya,” I said and we hung up.

       I hit up Luke and we agreed to meet at Shine’s crib in a couple of hours.

       I stopped at the liquor store to pick up some Grey Goose and Ciroc.  I had stopped by my boy Archie’s crib to pick up some trees so me and my boys could blow since we hadn’t did that shit in a while.  I pulled up and Luke was already there.  I knocked on the door and walked in on the boys having a conversation without me.  It wouldn’t have bugged me so much if they hadn’t stopped talking when I walked in, which let me know I was the topic of discussion.

       “Okay the way y’all two lookin’ let me get some glasses first before y’all deliver the bad news,” I said walking into the kitchen to get three glasses.

       I walked back in the living room and poured liquor in all three glasses then sat down, took a swig and said, “Okay let me have it.”

       “So here’s what Caramel just told me.  This chick named Taylor at their school said that she’s pregnant by you,” Shine said.

       The two of them were looking at me like I had just told them I had the clap.  I didn’t know what they hell they were looking at me like that for because I didn’t even know a chick named Taylor.  And I certainly don’t know a chick named Taylor from the high school.

       “What the fuck y’all lookin’ at me for?  I don’t know no chick named Taylor!” I said.

       “You sure Bro because this chick seems pretty sure that y’all had sex and that her baby is yours,” Shine said.

       “I’m telling y’all I don’t know this chick!” I yelled pouring myself another drink.

       What is it with these women and their need to trap me into having a baby by me?  I know damned well I didn’t have no other baby comin’ with no chick named Taylor.

       Shine pulled his phone out, scrolled through and handed it to me.  I took the phone, glanced at the picture of some chick on his screen and asked, “Who the fuck this is?”

       “That’s the chick that said she pregnant for you!” Shine said.

       I glanced at it again and said, “I don’t know this bitch so she better stop lying on me!”

       “Dude you don’t know her or have you fucked so many that you don’t remember her?” Luke asked.

       “Look at her good Bro and stop glancing,” Shine said.

       As I stared at the image on the screen it suddenly hit me that this was the “Squealer.”  I had totally forgotten about that lil girl after all that noise she was hollering in my fuckin’ ear.  Then it hit me again, this chick said she’s pregnant by me!  Got damn!  This is like a fuckin’ nightmare or epidemic that won’t end!  What the fuck!

       As my boys continued to look at me, shine said, “Judging from the look on your face you remember that chick huh?”

       “I do remember her but I couldn’t have gotten her pregnant, we only fucked once and the bitch was squealing like a fuckin’ pig!  I don’t even think I busted a nut from all the noise her ass was making!” I said.

       “FYI Bro, it only takes one time to fuck a chick to get her pregnant.  And I don’t know if you are or aren’t the father, but she’s looking for you to tell you about her pregnancy,” Luke said.

        “Well she can keep lookin’ til she find her real baby daddy because he ain’t me!” I took another drink.

         “What if it is your baby Ant?  Are you prepared to take care of three kids?” Shine asked.

       “Hell no I ain’t ready to take care of no three kids!  I ain’t even prepared to take care of one!  That ain’t ma fuckin’ baby!  These bitches hear a nigga work offshore then all of a sudden they pregnant by me!  Fuck that shit and they can miss me with it!” I yelled.

       “Have you been by to visit Shaniqua and see your son yet?” Shine asked.

       “Nope, I will probably go pass by before I leave for work,” I said.

       “Yo, Luke what’s up with you and why you so quiet Man?” Shine asked.

       “Got a lil news of my own to tell; Jessica just told me she’s pregnant!” he said.

       “What!  You gon be a dad too Bro?” I asked.

       “Congratulations Man!” Shine said.

       “This truly calls for a drink!” I said and refilled their glasses and mine.

       “The thing is I don’t think it’s my kid.  I think she was cheating on me,” Luke said.

       I almost spit my Ciroc out my mouth when that nigga said that.  I know me and his girl had sex but I knew damned well she wasn’t pregnant by me!  Fuck that shit!

       “What makes you think that Bro?” I asked.

       “Because we been together for almost three years and this whole time she hasn’t gotten pregnant once.  And now all of a sudden she having a baby, something just don’t add up!” he said.

       “Well maybe it’s just y’all time Man!” Shine said.

       “I don’t know.  I wanna get excited because I love her but when she has the baby I’m getting a DNA test.  Ain’t no way I’m fixin to take care of another man’s kid while she tries to pass it off as my own.  I wish she would just come clean and tell me up front.  I would respect her more if she did that!” Luke said.

       “Well I hope the kid is yours,” I said.

       “You and me both,” Luke responded.

       “So how’s Caramel?” I asked Shine.

       “She’s good just anxious to deliver the baby,” he said.

       “So y’all having a girl huh?” Luke asked.

       “Yea and I can’t wait,” Shine said.

       “Y’all picked out a name yet?” I asked.

       “Yea, Christina Renee Calais!” Shine said with a smile.

       “That’s a nice name,” I said.

       “Yea after she has the baby I wanna ask her to move in.  I can’t do it now because I gotta go back on the water not long after she delivers and I don’t want her to be here alone, but I’ll ask her when I get back,” Shine said.

       “Really; you want her to move in with you?” I asked.

       “Yea, I love her and I wanna be there for her and our baby!” he said.

       “That’s good Man, I’m happy for you!” Luke said.

       “Yea that’s good that you wanna do that!” I said.

       “Well you living with Megan and y’all having a baby so I guess we both all family men,” Shine said.

       “Yea that’s true but I moved in because she got a nice crib Bro!  You should see that shit!” I said.

       “Are you fuckin’ serious right now Bro?  You moved in with her because you like her spot?  That’s cold!” Luke said.

       “Hey this is me all day every day and women love it!  I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not, what they see is what the fuck they get.  Fuck sugarcoating Bro!” I said.

       “You gon regret all this shit later yo! Sometimes you gotta take a step back and look at your life.  You have a son who’s a month old and you’ve never seen or held him.  He’s a beautiful baby Man so you don’t know what you’re missing.  And then you have a beautiful woman who’s having your baby and she was nice enough to move your ass in her spot and all you can say is “I’m there because she got a nice crib!”  That’s so selfish Man!” Shine said.

       “You gotta get yo shit together and grow up Bro,” Luke said.

       “Whatever Man!  Ain’t nobody tryna hear that shit!  I’m just keeping it real!” I said.  

       I couldn’t believe my boys were acting like this.  At one time we were all just fuckin’ bitches left and right, different chick every week or so and now they just want me to settle down like I’m some thirty year old man.  I’m only twenty one and I ain’t ready for all that family guy shit!

         These women knew what the fuck they were getting into when they spread their legs so why do I have to be responsible for their mistakes?  They went and got themselves pregnant and now I have to stress myself out worrying about them.  This is ridiculous!  They knew what time it was when we had sex so they should have taken the necessary precautions to avoid getting pregnant.  I don’t use condoms because I don’t like the way they feel on my dick but I’ll be damned if these women were gonna trap me. 

       I downed another glass of Ciroc not even paying attention to what Shine and Luke were talking about.  I didn’t even realize they were calling my name until Shine began clapping his hands in my face.

       “What’s up with you Bro?  Look like you thinkin’ bout something,” Shine said.

       “He thinkin’ bout all them babies he finna have calling him daddy and all that child support they finna deduct from his check, dats what he thinkin’ bout!” Luke said and began to laugh.

       Truth be told I was wondering if Luke’s girl was pregnant for me too.  Man, this shit was getting way outta control.  I sure hoped that kid wasn’t mine because I had enough fuckin’ problems.

       “I ain’t thinkin’ bout that shit!  They pregnant and that’s their business, that ain’t got shit to do with me, ya heard me?” I said.

       “I hear ya Man but I don’t understand how you can think that because you had everything to do with knockin’ them up!  For you to not wanna take responsibility for your kids is totally selfish on your part.  These girls are teenagers and you fucked around and got them pregnant so you should take responsibility for your kids, I’m just sayin’!” Shine said.

       I know ma nigga meant well but I was getting so tired hearing that shit from him.  Just because he wanted to play daddy to his seed didn’t mean I wanted to do the same with mine.  If these chicks had any sense at all they would have used some form of birth control.  I was about to get the hell outta here because I was feeling tipsy, they were aggravating me and I needed to fuck something.  Megan better be ready because I was about to come lay it down all between her big thighs.

       Since she got pregnant she wanted sex just as much as I did.  She did this lil thing with her eyes that let me know she was ready so I definitely loved her new sexual appetite.  I stood to leave but was a little unsteady on my feet so I had to sit back down for a minute.  I stood up again, this time slower, grabbed my keys but noticed my boys looking at me like I had lost my mind.

       “You know your ass been drinking, why not stay here for the night like you usually do?” Shine asked.

       “Nah I need to fuck something so I need to get home so I can break Megan off some before she goes to sleep,” I said.

       “I don’t think you’re in any condition to drive Bro and I don’t wanna see anything happen to you,” Shine said.

       “Let me drive you home and you can come get your car tomorrow,” Luke said.

       “Nah I’m good.  I ain’t really had that much anyway,” I said knowing that was a lie.  I was feeling really good and I definitely needed to get home to Megan.

       “Alright but promise if you start to fall asleep you will pull over and call one of us,” Shine said.

        My dude was a really good friend, that’s why we remained friends for so long.  He could ride with me and kick a nigga ass without me having to explain why.  That’s just the kinda nigga he was; friend for life and I appreciated that even though it didn’t seem like it.   

       “I’m fine Bro,” I said giving them brotherly hugs before walking out.  I got in my car and began to drive towards Megan’s house.  I put the windows down and blasted the music to keep me awake.  I made it home safe, unlocked the door and went to find Megan’s big ass.  She was now five months pregnant and she had gained quite a few pounds.

        Since finding out she was pregnant seems like every time I looked her way she was stuffing her face, talkin’ bout she eating for two.  If she kept eating for two like that pretty soon she would look like that fat chick on that movie Norbit.  She was coming out the kitchen with a pack of powdered donuts in her hand.