Darcy's Passions (31 page)

“Darcy, you overextended your influence on my life. Is it no wonder Miss Bennet sees me as being a lothario.”

“Bingley,” Darcy laughed, “Miss Bennet, if I may be allowed one last judgment, loves no one but you.”

“She cannot! She must think me a cad—to be indifferent to her!”

“Charles, there are not many things of which I am absolutely sure, but the constancy of Miss Bennet's feelings for you is one of the few things. Miss Elizabeth reprimanded me at Hunsford for my misgivings; the Gardiners showed me how thoughtful Miss Bennet is. I came here to observe her reactions to your renewed entreaties; her love still rests in you, Charles, if you are willing to ask her.”

“Ask her? Ask her what?” he nearly shouted.

“Ask her to marry you, Charles,” Darcy said softly. “She will accept you.”

“How can you be so sure? I am not, and it is I to whom you reportedly believe she directs her attentions!”

“You are too close to see the look in her eyes when you walk into the room. Most men would give their life for one such glimpse. She stirs your soul, Charles; with Miss Bennet you can share your innermost self with respect and dignity.You can wait; you can postpone, but if I were you, I would grab ‘happiness' with both hands and ask Miss Bennet to marry me.”

“She will say ‘yes,' will she not, Darcy?” Bingley was awestruck.

“Miss Bennet will say ‘yes,' Charles.”

Bingley began to pace, to spin, to stop, and to start all over again. “If Miss Bennet agrees, Darcy, then you will be completely forgiven.” Bingley laughed.

“Then I am forgiven,” Darcy smiled.“You will send me news of your happiness, but pray write
legibly
.”

“I will send you my fate,” Bingley could not control his thoughts; but then he recalled his sisters' parts in his misery.

“I hope you predicted Miss Bennet's response accurately, Darcy, for it will offer me a chance for revenge when I
demand
Caroline and Louisa give Jane her proper due as my wife.They believe me to be with you at Pemberley. What I would give to see their faces when they read I am at Netherfield, and I asked Miss Bennet to accept my hand.”

Darcy came forward. First, he shook Bingley's hand and then slapped him on the back.“I must leave you now, Bingley.”

“When will you return? If Miss Bennet accepts, you will stand up with me?”

“It would be my honor, Bingley, although I do not deserve your honest consideration. I will try to return within a fortnight; your
fate
should be decided by then.”

Darcy picked up his hat and walking stick and headed for the waiting carriage. Bingley followed close behind. At the carriage, Darcy turned, and Bingley extended his hand. “Friend,” he said. Darcy grasped the offered hand. “Friend,” came his thankful reply.
There was little to do in London, but Darcy did not care; his mind could not be happily employed. He went to the theatre one evening, for his spirits wanted the solitude and silence, which only numbers could give. A protégé of David Garrick performed magnificently, but the drama
The Chances
reminded him of Elizabeth for like the character's jealousy, Darcy remained jealous of the possibility of anyone else having Elizabeth as his wife.

At Longbourn, they did not speak beyond common civilities. He once believed their hearts were intertwined, and nothing could come between them.Their natures so similar—their understanding so perfect—he could never imagine their not finding each other. It was impossible for him to forget how to love Elizabeth, but the fact was when they last met, she did not seem to want to be near enough for conversation—near enough to him. Elizabeth did not return his regard; he had no choice but to put distance between them. The distance between Pemberley and Longbourn was one kind of distance, but he would also have to build a wall around his heart. Darcy was Bingley's friend; Bingley would marry Jane; Darcy could not avoid seeing Elizabeth . . . but he could force himself to be indifferent.

When he was in London a week, a dispatch arrived from Bingley. It read,

The letter brought Darcy relief, but he envied Bingley's chance for happiness. Bitterness and lost opportunities marred his chances;
if he realized how much a refusal to dance at an assembly would change his life, he would dance with Elizabeth the first time he met her; if he . . . He could not live with all these regrets—with the ache of lost love.

 

Colonel Fitzwilliam called on him on Thursday, and they agreed to dine together on Saturday.“I want to know about the commission you bought, Darcy. You were very secretive. I warn you—I will have the truth, Cousin.”

 

On Saturday he returned from an afternoon outing to discover his aunt's chaise and four before Kensington Place. “Mr. Darcy,” his butler approached and took Darcy's hat, gloves, and greatcoat, “your aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, insisted on being admitted although I told her you were not at home. She demanded, Sir, to wait on your return.”

“You were right to admit her, Mr.Thacker.Would you have tea brought to the drawing room?”

“Yes, Mr. Darcy.”

Darcy did not like visitors to come to his home without a proper invitation; his aunt knew his dislike of such intrusions upon his privacy. Something must be amiss.
Could something be wrong with Anne?
He strode into the drawing room expecting to find his aunt in tears. Instead, she was agitated; she was angry; she was demanding. “Lady Catherine, what brings you to Kensington Place? I was unaware of your plans to travel to London. Please tell me my Cousin Anne has not taken ill again.”

“Darcy, you came at last; I am so distressed—such an inconvenient situation!”

“Aunt, I could possibly empathize with you if I knew of what you speak.”

“Then you have no knowledge of it? I suspected as not.” Her voice rose in volume with each subsequent phrase.

The tea arrived at that precise time.After the servant placed the tray on the table, Darcy poured his distraught aunt a cup and then
fixed himself one. “Let us have some tea and allow me the opportunity to ascertain what most disturbs you.”

Lady Catherine tried to sip the tea, but her discomfort overwhelmed her, and she decidedly placed the saucer on the table to emphasize her agitation.

“Please tell me what brought you here today.”

“That girl!” His aunt spit out the words.

“What girl, Madam?”

“Miss Elizabeth Bennet, of course!”

Darcy froze. Had he heard his aunt correctly? “Miss Elizabeth Bennet?” he tried to sound nonchalant. “What could Miss Elizabeth have to do with our family?”

“She is an insincere young lady, one not to be given proper address!”

Darcy's mind raced;
about what could his aunt be talking?
“I thought Miss Elizabeth was a favorite,Aunt.”

“She most certainly is not! She spreads scandalous falsehoods, and I came here to demand you deny her report.”

Darcy stood and forced himself to walk casually to the mantel. “What falsehood has Miss Elizabeth spread which caused you such torment?”

“That girl,” she began again,“let it be known she intends to be united in marriage with you, Nephew.”

Darcy's heart leapt at the words. He never thought Elizabeth could spread such a rumor; it was beyond her.“Are you sure,Aunt? This seems uncharacteristic of what I know of Miss Elizabeth. From whom did you hear this rumor?” He tried not to show his own turmoil.

“From Mr. Collins, of course,” she exclaimed. “He is Miss Bennet's cousin! I have it on his good authority, and I expect you to publicly contradict this braggart.”

“No one, I am sure,” he started slowly,“of any consequence will repeat such stories. The Lucases are a gossipy lot. These are only Collins's assumptions based on Charles Bingley's plans to marry Miss Elizabeth's eldest sister. Mr. Collins exaggerates the situation.
There is nothing for me to contradict.”

“First the girl will not retract the rumors, and now you refuse to contradict them!” she lamented.

“Lady Catherine, have you spoken to Miss Elizabeth?” He could not believe his aunt confronted Elizabeth with these accusations; Elizabeth must hate him for bringing such censure into her life!

“I have, Sir. I am almost your nearest relative, and I will expunge your reputation even if you will not!” Her haughtiness showed her true nature.

Darcy gripped the mantel for support; he must keep his aunt talking to know what happened, but at the moment he wanted to drive the woman from his house for attacking Elizabeth.“May I ask what you so kindly told Miss Bennet?”

“I confronted her, demanding she contradict the rumor she started. Of course, Miss Bennet feigned innocence, claiming my coming to Longbourn would only give merit to a rumor if it existed.”

“She makes a reasonable point, Lady Catherine.”

“Nonsense! I asked her if she could declare there was no foundation for the rumor, and that impertinent young lady told me I may ask questions which she may choose not to answer! Can you imagine such insolence?”

Imagining Elizabeth's brazen confrontation of his aunt, Darcy stifled an ironic laugh. “Go on, your Ladyship,” he encouraged for he must know whether Elizabeth spoke of him positively or not.

“When I told her as your aunt I had a
right
to know all your dearest concerns, Miss Bennet claimed I had no
right
to know hers. Her arts and allurements are many; I fear you have succumbed to them, Nephew.”

Darcy could not respond; all he could think of was although Elizabeth did not say she loved him, she refused to say she did not love him. “What else happened, Aunt?” He tried to control the chaos of his mind by steadying his voice and encouraging his aunt's retelling of the events.

“I reminded her of your engagement to my daughter and how it was your mother's wish for it to be so; and I told her as a young woman of inferior birth, she had no claim on a man of your standing. I reminded her of propriety and delicacy.”

The gentleman gritted his teeth and bit the words as he said them, but miraculously, Darcy controlled his ever-building anger. “What was Miss Elizabeth's answer?”

“The response reeked of more insolence! She said although she heard it before you were to marry Anne, that fact would not keep her from marrying you if neither your honor nor inclination confined you to your cousin. She said if you were to make another choice, and she should be that choice, she had the right to accept the proposal.”

Darcy's breath came in short bursts. Elizabeth did not say she would accept his proposal; only she had the right to accept it. He had to know more; he forced his mind and his being to appear in tune with Lady Catherine's sentiments, but she waited not for his response. “I told Miss Bennet such an alliance would bring her only disgrace; she would never be recognized or accepted by your family and friends. She is so obstinate and headstrong Miss Bennet claimed being your wife would have its own attached happiness, and that happiness would be great enough to keep your wife from feeling any regret in her choice.”

Again, Darcy heard Elizabeth thought being married to him could bring a woman happiness.
Was it possible to bring her happiness?
Hope grew again in him. “I assume that was the end of this confrontation,” he added, hoping it would keep his aunt talking.

“It most certainly was not! I reminded her of your noble lineage of your mother's family and that your father was from a respectable, honorable, and ancient, though untitled, family. I told Miss Bennet if she was sensible of her own good, she would not wish to quit the sphere in which she was brought up.”

Darcy cringed with his aunt's lack of prudence and decorum. “Miss Elizabeth probably did not appreciate your bringing this to her attention.”

“She was livid! She said by marrying you, she would not be quitting
her
sphere because she is a gentleman's daughter. I had her there, Nephew! I had her there! I told her I knew of her mother's low connections, but she insisted if you did not object to her connections, it was nothing to me.”

Much to his regret, Darcy remembered saying something very similar to his aunt's words at one time to Elizabeth. Now, however, he came to a new realization: his aunt repeatedly abused Elizabeth, and Elizabeth had a right to deny any connection to him. If she had, Lady Catherine would have stopped her tirade, but even with all Lady Catherine said to her, Elizabeth never said she would not marry him. He walked toward the window; he feared if his aunt could see his face at the moment, it would betray how happy this conversation made him.

“I demanded to know if you were engaged.” Darcy's back stiffened with anger directed toward his aunt's intimidation of someone lower in standing. “Thankfully, she confirmed you were not engaged, but Miss Bennet refused to promise she would never enter into such an engagement.”
Elizabeth would not promise to refuse him.
“I told her I would never give up this mission. Being wholly unreasonable, Miss Bennet claimed my application to be ill-judged and my arguments to be frivolous, saying even if she refused your hand, it would not make you turn to Anne.”

“Madam, do you not think you overstepped your bounds? This is my life of which you speak.”

“I have not, Sir. Family resentment will follow such a union.”