CRASH (A Stone Kings Motorcycle Club Romance) (8 page)

His brow furrowed, considering. “Yeah.” After a moment, he added. “It’s not easy to take the first step.”

“No. It’s not.” It felt strange, to be having this conversation with someone who was at once a total stranger and the one person in the world who would understand what I was saying. “I think the idea of just leaving, with no way to say, ‘I’m going
to
this place’… It would have felt like jumping off a cliff.” My voice diminished to almost a whisper. “I’m not sure I would have had the courage to do it, otherwise.”

Levi was looking at me intensely now, his expression unreadable. “Why did you leave?” he asked suddenly. “I mean, what was the final thing that pushed you?”

“I’m not sure,” I lied. But something inside me was telling me to give him the truth. It felt wrong to lie to him, after he had helped me. And in a way, maybe it would be good to say it to someone. I paused a moment to gather my courage, then shook my head. “No, that’s not true. I do know what it was.” My eyes met his, and I forced myself not to look away.

“I was married to a man who has four children,” I began. “I was his second wife. His first one, my sister wife — her name is Carolyn — she believes in everything they teach you about what women should do. That they should only be concerned with their roles as godly, obedient spouses. Except she hates me.” I shrugged. “I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because her children get along with me so well. I’m sort of more like an older sister to them. And maybe, too, because once I was married to Isaiah, he shared my bed more often than he shared hers.”

My face flamed red. I had never spoken about sex to anyone, let alone a man I barely knew. I took a deep breath and plunged ahead with my story.

“I was actually married once before, before Isaiah. When I was sixteen. Abram died after we’d been married a little over two years,” I continued. “Luckily, he was so old when we married that he wasn’t really able to… well, you know.” I looked at the floor. “So, I was a virgin when I got married to Isaiah at nineteen. I didn’t really know how good I’d had it with Abram until my wedding night with Isaiah. Since I had been married once before, no one really thought to explain to me what was going to happen.” I drew my arms protectively around myself at the memory of that night. “As I said, Isaiah shared my bed most nights after that first one. He… he beat me if ever I didn’t want to sleep with him, so I learned not to object.”

I risked a glance at Levi before I went on. His face was dark, his jaw clenched. I looked back down at the floor and continued.

“The thing is, Isaiah’s oldest daughter by Carolyn is fourteen now. Her name is Abigail. She’s a sweet girl, pretty and obedient. And…” My voice began to crack, and I swallowed painfully. “And Isaiah just made the decision that she’s to be married off to a man of forty-two. Carolyn agrees with him, and poor Abigail…” My lip trembled. “Poor Abigail doesn’t know what she’s in for.” A tear rolled down my cheek, then another. “I realized that when I had children, they would be Isaiah’s, too. And he would make the same decisions for them. For any daughters I had.” A sob escaped me, and I shook my head as I fought for words. “I just couldn’t stay, knowing that was my future, my children’s future. I just couldn’t.”

Levi looked stricken. “Jesus. Cherish… I don’t know what to say.”

“No. No, it’s fine,” I sniffled, grabbing a paper towel from the rack and wiping at my eyes. “It’s… it’s actually sort of a relief to talk about it. I’ve been thinking about it for so long, without any way to say it out loud.” I sighed shakily. “It’s a little like an escape valve.” I smiled at him weakly through my tears. “Thanks.”

For a moment, neither of us spoke. What else was there to say?

“Well,” I finally said, to break the silence. “I should finish cleaning these skillets. Then I should go wash up. I think Seton is planning to come see me in a little while.”

Levi stood. “I’ll let you get to it, then.” For a moment, he seemed to be on the verge of saying something else, but then he turned and was gone. I sighed and turned back to the dishes, emotionally drained by the unexpectedly serious conversation with Levi. I had never had such a deeply personal conversation with anyone before, let alone a man who wasn’t even related to me. I wasn’t quite sure what had gotten into me. I hoped he hadn’t regretted asking me about my decision to leave.

After finishing up in the kitchen, I went upstairs and took another long shower, which made me feel somewhat better. Once I had brushed out my hair and gotten dressed, I found a stray paperback in the apartment and tried to distract myself with it. I knew I should probably be thinking about what my next steps were, but frankly the idea was so overwhelming I didn’t know where to start. I was hoping that maybe a conversation with Seton would give me some ideas. Maybe there was someplace in town that took in women who didn’t have any place to stay.

A little after one o’clock, I heard footsteps on the stairs and a knock on my door. I opened it to find Seton in a bright white camisole and jean shorts, looking radiant. “Hey, Cherish! Ready to come shopping with me?”

I wasn’t sure what we would be shopping for, but I didn’t care. Just tagging along with her sounded fine by me. I’d pick her brain for ideas while we were out, and hopefully by the time we got back to the clubhouse, I’d have a plan.

A
couple
of hours after my conversation with Cherish, and I was still practically shaking with fury. I left the clubhouse almost immediately after she went upstairs, and got on my bike without saying a word to anyone about where I was going. I needed to clear my head and calm myself down before I tore the first unfortunate son of a bitch I happened to come across a new asshole.

I drove fast and recklessly, almost daring the road to fuck with me. I flew out of town at a full thirty miles over the speed limit, and didn’t stop until I finally came to a lush valley of evergreens with meandering, winding roads — a rarity in this part of the state. I slowed and took the curves at a steep lean, letting the tension ebb away as I concentrated on being one with the bike. On the far side of the valley, I stopped in a pool of cool shade by the side of the road and parked the bike. I still wasn’t calmed down, so I lit a cigarette from the pack inside my shirt and paced a little as I smoked it.

The story that Cherish told me had opened up some very old wounds that I’d thought had finally healed. Her version of why she finally decided to leave the Ranch was so similar in some ways to my own that it almost defied belief. It was a story I’d never told anybody, and I had tried so hard to forget it over the years that it felt as though I had just reopened a deep cut and exposed the raw nerves underneath.

I saw how hard it had been for Cherish to hold back her tears as she told me her story. She had been scarred by her life at the Ranch in many of the same ways I had been. I had been a fool not to realize that from the beginning. Just the mere fact that she had had the guts to pack up and leave everything she knew should have told me that, without her having to open up her heart and spill it out right in front of me.

When I got tired of pacing, I straddled the bike, leaned back, and lit another smoke. Gone were any traces of my initial anger at Cherish showing up unannounced at the clubhouse. I still knew she would eventually have to leave, but I was glad that she had chosen to take a chance by coming to Lupine. I figured that she was probably right when she said she might not have had the courage to get out otherwise.

I was happy she had somehow heard my name, that knowing someone else had made it out had somehow given her some hope. The only trouble was, there was something about her that kept me thinking inappropriate thoughts about all sorts of things I wanted to do to her.

I didn’t know what it was; she had a basic innocence about her that told me she’d probably never had a man give her pleasure before. But at the same time, somehow she had this effortless sexiness about her that drove me wild just to be around her. The way her hips naturally swayed when she walked, just begging your eyes to watch… My hands frankly itched to reach out and cup her ass, pulling her against my hard cock. I fairly itched to hear her start whimpering and pressing her wet, hot need against me…

Fuck. Just like that, I was hard as a rock. It felt like I had been pretty much constantly since she emerged for the first time yesterday in the clothes she’d gotten from Seton. Hell, if she could make just jeans and a simple tank top look that good, imagine what she’d look like with a tight little dress that showed off all her curves and left nothing to the imagination. The video running in my head switched to her in a little black mini-dress with sky-high heels, lying on my bed as I slid the skirt up around her thighs. I could hear her breath, shallow and rapid, as she parted her legs slightly and I found the hot, wet center of her and began to stroke her clit…

Goddamn
. Okay. I needed to stop thinking about her. I was isolated enough here to get away with jacking off and being done with it, but I needed to stop entertaining thoughts of fucking Cherish. At least until she was gone and safely out of my life.

I sat looking at the pines and brush in silence and thinking about how fucked up life could be. I stayed out there for a couple of hours, fighting off dueling impulses to either drive to the WFZ Ranch and bomb the place to kingdom come, or just chuck everything and go build myself a cabin somewhere up in the mountains so I wouldn’t have to deal with people and their complicated, fucked up lives anymore.

Eventually, when I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer, I sat up, pointed my bike in the opposite direction, and headed back to the clubhouse. We had the meet with the leader of the Aztec cartel this afternoon, and as much as club business was the last thing on my mind right now, I couldn’t let down my brothers. I needed to be there to see how Lalo reacted to Grey telling him the Cannibals were probably responsible for the attacks on our club.

The meet didn’t go well. Lalo Hernandez, the leader of the Aztecs cartel, was a short, stocky man about fifty years old, with black hair that was just starting to show gray at the temples. He had a thin mustache and a penchant for expensive suits. The Stone Kings had had a decent working relationship with Lalo and the cartel for a number of years. The truce that was set up by Grey’s dad when he was president was solid, and had held for as long as I had been a Stone King with no major problems.

The first sign that there might be some tension was that Lalo showed up not just with his men, but with Skull, the president of the Cannibals, in tow. Skull stood in a group of other men who seemed to be all Aztecs. When he saw us arrive his mouth widened in an arrogant smile. He lifted his chin toward Grey in a mocking salute.

Since Grey had told Lalo that he wanted to talk about the Cannibals, the move to bring Skull was, if not a line in the sand, at least pretty fucking concerning. Luckily, Grey didn’t have much trouble convincing Lalo to leave everyone but himself and three of his officers outside the abandoned depot where we were meeting. Grey, Trig, Moose, and I followed them inside, leaving the other men to stand guard and keep watch on the Aztecs and Skull.

“What is it you want to talk to me about, Grey?” Lalo asked stiffly. He was wearing a dark pinstriped suit that looked like it cost more than my bike, his hands clasped in front of him.

Grey frowned and explained the situation. “We may have a problem with the new members of your cartel, Lalo. I came to you because your organization and mine have always had a good professional relationship. Our truce is strong and has been for a long time. I’m sure neither one of us wants to do anything to jeopardize it.”

Lalo nodded, and his expression became less stony. “Yes, that is true. The trust has been important for both of us for a long time.”

“How well do you know the new president of the Cannibals?” Grey asked pointedly.

“Skull? He came to me some months ago, not long after he was named president of the Cannibals,” Lalo replied. “He had a deal that he wanted to renegotiate between us regarding moving arms shipments. He made an offer that was very advantageous to us, and so I accepted.”

“And you didn’t know him before that?”

“No,” Lalo answered.

Grey nodded. “We have reason to believe that the Cannibals are behind two recent attacks on our club. One of them killed a brother. The other one was out in the open, and injured some civilians.”

“What makes you think it is the Cannibals?” Lalo asked smoothly.

“There’s no other club who would have any reason to do anything like this.” Grey shook his head. “The first attack happened not long after Skull took over as president of the Cannibals, and I believe not long after their club joined your cartel.” He cocked his head at Lalo. “If it was the Cannibals, their actions would be breaking our truce.”

“Why would the Cannibals do such a thing? What would they have to gain from it?” His voice was dismissive.

“You tell me.” Grey crossed his arms. “I know Skull even less well than you. Maybe he’s just crazy, and has no motive at all. But more than likely, he does have one. And if you don’t know what it is, then I suggest you better figure it out. Because if he goes down, he’ll take your cartel down with him.

Lalo made a noise of impatience. “This is a serious accusation, Grey.”

“I am not accusing anyone. Yet,” Grey corrected him. “But the men who attacked us were too cowardly to leave a signature. When we find out who they were, we will have to take action. Justice will have to be served. If it is the Cannibals, the question in our minds is gonna be whether the Aztecs knew about it. You know what this could mean.”

“Are you threatening me, Greyson?” Lalo asked, his expression turning dark, dangerous.

“I am not threatening you, Lalo.” Grey’s words were frank. “I am telling you as a business associate that your alliance with Skull may threaten something much larger.”

Lalo’s voice was tight. “What are you suggesting?”

“I suggest that you find out what the Cannibals’ relationship is to those attacks before I do. And I suggest that when you find that relationship out, you tell me and give our club a chance to mete out justice before this thing blows up in all of our faces and starts a war.”

Lalo’s face turned to stone. “I believe we are finished here,” he said. He nodded once to the man on his right, and the four of them filed out silently as we watched them leave.

“Well, that went well,” Trigger said sarcastically when they were gone.

“What do we do now?” I asked.

“We wait,” Grey said.

Trigger swore. “How long?”

“As long as we have to,” Grey retorted, his voice flinty. Trigger didn’t push it.

The sounds of cars and motorcycles leaving reached our ears, and we lingered, waiting for them to be gone before we turned toward the exit to rejoin our brothers. It wasn’t surprising, in a way, that Lalo hadn’t been all that receptive to the accusations against the Cannibals. After all, we had no proof. His inclusion of Skull among the men waiting outside didn’t prove anything one way or another, either. I resisted the urge to punch something in frustration. I wondered how long the Stone Kings would be willing to hold off from acting before tensions started to rise.

When we got back to the club, the sun was just beginning to set. I had been so caught up in club business that I’d forgotten Cherish had planned to be gone by now, and my stomach clenched at the thought that I might have missed her. But just as we had parked the bikes and gone inside, Seton emerged from the kitchen and walked toward the four of us.

“Greyson,” she began, and nodded her head at the rest of us in greeting. “I asked Cherish to stay for the rest of the week.”

He swore softly and looked at her with a frown. “Seton, this isn’t a halfway house.”

But Seton was fierce. “She has no place to go, Greyson,” she said in a voice that brooked no argument. “Believe me, the last thing she wants to do is inconvenience us all. But she’s got no one. You’ve got to give her a little time to get on her feet.” Her eyes widened. “She told me that she comes from a fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints community in Arizona. Like, sister wives and stuff.” Seton’s gaze flickered toward me for a moment, and I looked away. “Can you imagine how hard it would be to go from a life like that, to just being a normal twenty-first century woman?”

Her hand went to Grey’s and squeezed it softly. “Please. Just let her stay for a few more days. Let her rest, get some distance from whatever life she left behind, and then I’ll help her figure out what her next steps will be.”

Grey scowled and said nothing, but I knew Seton had won, and so did she. She let out a little squeal and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, baby!” she grinned, and then skipped off. Before Grey could say anything, she was gone, having run upstairs to tell Cherish the good news no doubt.

“Son of a bitch,” Grey said gloomily. “I can’t say no to that woman.”

I didn’t say anything. My mind was ping-ponging back and forth between unexpected relief that I hadn’t missed saying goodbye to Cherish, and unease at having to avoid her for at least another few days. I wasn’t sure how the hell I was going to stand it until she was safely gone and out of my life.