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Authors: N.R. Walker

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BOOK: Clarity of Lines
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“No, it wasn’t his
age
that I was interested in,” Cooper told them. “It was the fact we’d spend hours talking about anything and everything, like I’d met my intellectual match.”

I couldn’t help but smile, and his admission of exactly how I felt reinforced to me that this was worth it.

His father looked at the both of us, like we didn’t understand the obvious. “I’m sorry, Cooper, but it
does
matter.”

Cooper’s reply was a very serious, “Not to me.”

Then his mother asked, “Just exactly how did this all come about?”

I retold the story,
sans
intimate details, of how we’d met, how we’d worked together, how it was then that I saw Cooper to be a person who was strong minded, smart and free-thinking.

Cooper’s father glared at me. “You took
advantage
of him while he
worked
for you?”

I didn’t have time to speak, before Cooper sat forward on the sofa and spoke through gritted teeth. “He didn’t take
advantage
of me!” He almost spat the words. “Jesus Christ!”

“Cooper, don’t swear in this house,” his mother chided him.

Cooper ignored her. “So what you’re saying is,” he said, “you think I don’t have a mind of my own, that I can’t make my own decisions and that I’m some easily led kid? Is that what you think?”

“No,” his mother said weakly, but his father stared at me.

They didn’t think he was a naïve kid, they thought I was some sexual predator. I gave Cooper a small smile and squeezed his hand again. “It’s not you they have a problem with.”

“You think it’s Tom?” he asked, looking at his parent’s incredulously.

“I think a forty-four-year-old man should know better,” his father replied coldly.

“No,” Cooper said flatly, dropping my hand to hold up both his index fingers. “No. Dad, you’re not implying Tom should know better, you’re implying I don’t have the ability to see what’s in front of me.” He was angry, and his jaw bulged when he spoke. “Like I don’t know what’s right for me, like I’m some dumbass kid. Yes, Tom’s a grown man, but you need to see that I am too.”

“You’re twenty-two years old,” his father said. “And you’re our son. We’re allowed to be concerned. I don’t think you have the perspective to see it for what it is, Cooper.”

“I can’t believe you have a problem with this,” Cooper said, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe you thought we wouldn’t have a problem with this,” his father countered. “Quite frankly, Cooper, I can’t see us ever not having a problem with this. I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s right.”

Cooper scratched his head, like he couldn’t understand something. “You told me you’d accept me, all of me. You both said that. When I came out to you, when I finally admitted to you I was gay, you told me you’d love me, no matter who I wanted, or who I fell in love with.”

He stood up and walked to the back door, but then turned back around. “But what you meant was that you’d only accept me, if I fell in love with someone my own age. Or what? Someone that wasn’t a guy?” he asked. “Oh God, were you still hoping me being gay was just a phase?” he asked, clearly upset. “Well, guess what? It’s not a phase, and neither is this,” he said, motioning between him and me. “I am
in love
with him.”

His parents sat there, stunned at his outburst, and when they never said a word, Cooper turned on his heel and walked out of the back door. I stood up, not excusing myself, not caring, and followed him.

He was walking across the yard to the pool. “Coop, sweetheart,” I said and he stopped and turned around. He had tears in his eyes.

“Can we go?” he asked. “I think I’d like to go now.”

I put my hands around his neck and pulled him against me. “Sure,” I told him. Not that I thought leaving was the best idea, but he needed me on his side right now.

He nodded against my neck. “I just want to go.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

“I thought they’d be okay,” he mumbled. “I thought they’d be kinda mad, but then they’d see I was happy and they’d be okay.”

“Maybe they need some time,” I said quietly. “They love you. They just want what’s best for you.”

“You’re what’s best for me,” he answered, with his face still buried against me.

“Did you want to go?” I asked. “Or did you want to stay and try and sort this out?”

He sighed. “I want to go.”

“Okay,” I said again. “Whatever you want.”

Cooper pulled back from me and took my hand. He led us into the house, but never stopped. “Tell Max I said goodbye,” he said to no one in particular and walked right past his parents to the front door.

I stopped him. “Just give me one minute,” I said quietly.

He frowned, and said. “I’ll see you in the car.” And not even looking at his mom or dad, he walked out.

I turned to face his parents. His father looked angry and confused, and his mother looked lost and utterly miserable. “He wants to leave,” I told them. “He’s very upset. Maybe it’s not my place to say, and you can hate me all you like, but please don’t lose him over this. Don’t cut him off because of me.”

“It won’t be
our
doing,” his father said coldly.

I smiled, despite that he was implying I would be the cause of Cooper losing his family. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how stubborn Cooper is, or how driven he is. Once he sets his sights on something, he stands his ground until he has it. By the same token, he won’t stand for something he doesn’t agree with, and he most certainly won’t be walked over, and he won’t be misled by anyone.”

“What exactly are you saying?” Cooper’s father asked.

I looked at them both. “That you raised an incredible son.”

My words threw them, but eventually Paula asked, “What would you do? If it was your son? If it was Ryan who was dating someone twice his age.”

I thought about that for a moment. “If he was happy, if it was what he wanted, then I’d tell him I loved him, knowing I’d be there for him if it fell apart.”

Cooper’s father scoffed. “Of course you would.”

“All we can do is love them, and hope they make the right choices,” I said, with my hand on the door handle. “Unconditional love is exactly that. We don’t get to choose.”

I opened the door wider but before I left, I said, “We’re staying at The Peninsula, on the eighteenth floor. Don’t let him go back to New York thinking you don’t love him.”

I walked out to find Cooper in the passenger seat of the car, instead of the driver’s seat. I got in and pulled the car out onto the street and headed towards the city. Cooper was quiet and stared out of the window for the trip to the hotel, and even after we’d checked in and went up to our suite, he was still quiet.

He sat on the bed, and it was then he asked me what had been said between me and his parents while he’d waited in the car, and I told him every word. His face fell and he frowned. “It wasn’t supposed to go like that,” he said. It was heartbreaking to see him so upset. I pulled him against me and we lay back and while he snuggled into me, I stared out over Chicago for I don’t know how long.

When it started to get dark, I asked him if he wanted something to eat. “Or we can go out?” I suggested. “We can find whatever food takes your fancy, or if you want to get drunk, we can do that too.”

“Can we just stay in?” he asked. “I’m sorry, I’m not really in the mood to do anything.”

“Don’t apologise,” I said, kissing his forehead. “Of course we can stay in. We can get room service.”

“Sounds good.”

“I can run you a bath. The spa is huge.”

He finally smiled. “Maybe later.”

I ordered us dinner, which he only picked at, and he declined the bath, opting for a hot shower, then he climbed into bed. I joined him, he slid into the crook of my arm, nestled into me and fell asleep.

I lay there, staring at the ceiling, with an awful lot to think about.

I wondered if I should back off from Cooper, if I should urge him to choose his family over me. I certainly would never
make
him choose. But I had the perspective of both sides—as the boyfriend, and as a father. It angered me that his parents wouldn’t even consider the idea of Cooper and I being together. Maybe they were hoping I’d be the one to call it off with him, knowing as a parent, I wouldn’t want to be the cause of such a conflict.

And, well, that just pissed me off.

I wondered if this would change things between us. I wondered, if his parents did give him an ultimatum, who he’d choose. As a parent, I wondered who I’d
want
him to choose.

I couldn’t imagine leaving Cooper. I knew we’d only been together for a few months, but I loved him. I
adored
him—this incredible man who, for some reason, seemed to love me just as much as I loved him.

I wondered if he could leave me. I wondered if he should. And as that thought unsettled me, I tried to get out of bed, but Cooper’s hold tightened on me. “Don’t go,” he mumbled.

I rolled so I faced him instead and wrapped him up in my arms. Even in his sleep he needed me. How could I ever leave him? I hoped to God it wouldn’t come to that. Instead, we could prove to them that we were serious. It wouldn’t be easy, it would take patience and understanding, and it could very well take years.

But he was worth it. We were worth it.

I kissed the side of his head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

* * * *

In the morning, I woke up to find Cooper sitting on the bed with his phone in his hand. “Hey,” I said, my voice still sleepy. “Everything okay?”

“Just got a message from Mom and Dad,” he said quietly. “They’re coming to see us before we go back to New York.”

Chapter Ten

It was a very different meeting this time. Andrew and Paula Jones walked into the café at the hotel, looking more nervous than anything. Cooper’s mother looked like she’d barely slept.

I knew how she felt.

Cooper was stoic, his jaw was set and his chin was raised defiantly. I’d told him earlier, if he wanted to, he could listen to what they had to say and if it didn’t go well, the power was his to end the meeting.

If they didn’t meet him halfway, at least.

He’d told me he’d hear them out, but he wouldn’t wear any bullshit about me coercing him into bed. He wouldn’t cop being told he was just a kid, and that I had no right to take advantage of him. He was hurt and angry, and I didn’t blame him.

As tough as he tried to make himself out to be, he wanted their approval. He wanted his parents in his life, without any disagreements, without any tension. He wanted them to be happy for him.

Thankfully the waiter followed them in and took orders for coffee, which was an ice breaker for all of us.

His mother started first. “Cooper, honey, I’m sorry yesterday ended up the way it did,” she said. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

“I don’t want to fight with you either,” he said quietly.

Then Paula stared at her husband, prompting him to speak.

“Look, son, we might not agree with everything you do,” he said cautiously. He sighed and started again, “But it’s not our choice. We know that.”

I half expected him to say ‘it’s not our mistake to make’ but thankfully, he didn’t.

“No, it’s not your choice,” Cooper said. He wasn’t letting them off easily. “It’s my choice, and I’ve made it.”

“We can see that,” his mother said, trying to smile.

Just then, the waiter returned with our coffees and asked if we were ready to order breakfast.

Cooper looked at his parents. “Will you be eating with us?” he asked quietly. It wasn’t really a question of food, it was a question of tolerance. If they stayed and ate with us, it meant they wanted to try to accept us.

“Yes,” his mother said. “If that’s okay with you?”

Cooper looked at his very-quiet father. “Dad?”

“Yes,” he said, clearing his throat. He looked to the waiter. “We’re ready to order.”

Cooper smiled and finally exhaled. He looked at me. “I’m starving. What are you having?”

It was hard not to smile back at him, even with his death-grip on my hand under the table. “Eggs Benedict, I think.”

Cooper looked up at the waiter. “One pancakes with maple syrup
and
bacon, and one eggs Benedict, with ham not salmon, sauce on the side, thanks.”

The fact he ordered for me, knowing exactly how I liked my eggs done made me smile. It wasn’t lost on his parents either.

It was pretty clear it was Paula, Cooper’s mother, who had insisted on this visit. His father was still standoffish, obviously not pleased with the idea of his son dating an older guy. But they were making an effort.

“Where’s Max?” Cooper asked.

“Still in bed,” Paula replied.

“He won’t surface until lunch time,” his father mumbled.

Cooper looked up thoughtfully and sighed. “Ah, the good old days.”

His mother smiled at him. “You should invite him to New York for a weekend,” she said. “He’d love that.”

“That’d be great,” Cooper said. “I’m pretty busy with work, but we could line it up with a concert or something he wants to see.” He looked at me, and smiled. “Max loves thrash death-metal.”

“Oh, excellent,” I said sarcastically. “Another concert.”

Cooper laughed. “You went to
one
, and you liked it.”

“You went to one of his concerts?” Paula asked, surprised.

Cooper answered for me. “Of course he did. He takes me to those boring art exhibition openings, so it’s only fair.”

“You went to
one
,” I countered, trying not to smile. “And you liked it.”

Paula and Andrew looked on, not very sure what to make of our banter. Cooper smiled as he sipped his coffee. “You guys should come to New York,” he said to his parents. “We could spend the weekend, I could show you where I work, we could go to Broadway or something equally as boring.”

They agreed, but didn’t commit to anything, and conversation turned to Cooper’s work, a subject he could talk about for hours. I just loved his enthusiasm for what he did, for what
we
did. He asked me a question or two, trying to drag me into the discussion, but I was happy for him to have this time with his parents. It didn’t have to involve me at every turn.

BOOK: Clarity of Lines
4.79Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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