Christmas and Forever (13 page)

His head snapped up at the male voice. Disapproval clear on his face, the neurologist stared at him as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. “What the blazes are you doing in my patient’s room?” The doctor’s scowl deepened, filled with concern. “Who is she to you? You know we don’t get that close to the patients. Am I going to need to have your head examined?”

Aidan sat up and ran a hand across his jaw. He couldn’t muster the energy to trade banter. “I know her,” Aidan said, having no fight left in him. “She was my receptionist for a couple of months.”

Dr. Samson drew his clipboard closer. “This isn’t cardiology. Her being your former receptionist doesn’t give you a right to be in here.”

Aidan rose from the chair. “I love her. That should be enough.”

“What?”

He repeated it. Hell, he wanted everyone to know how he felt about her. “This whole thing is my fault. I don’t care how it happened, but it’s my fault for not being there for her for so long.”

“According to the teachers at her workplace, your Liya slipped on the ice somewhere close to the school’s playground. She hit her head on a brick barrier, Keegan. Right now the scan is only showing minor damage to the skull, but I’m sure you know how these things are. A month, a year from now she could show signs of damage from it. Or she could come out with just a scar.”

The doctor waved his hand in after thought. “Nothing. I’m just surprised, that’s all. In a good way, Keegan. In a good way. So, does that mean you want to receive a page when she wakes up?”

He looked back at Liya and wished he could stay the entire time at her bedside, but he had been away from his office for long enough and there was nothing he could do except make sure she had the best treatment at Mansfield General. Nodding, he answered, “I’d appreciate it. Thanks. Even if it’s late, the middle of the night. I don’t care when. I want to be notified of any change with her.”

“Got it. Congratulations again.”

Aidan jerked his head and left the ward. Samson’s congratulations was appreciated however premature. When Liya awoke, he could only hope and pray that she still felt the same and wanted to give their future a try.

Chapter Eleven

The first thing Liya noticed when she awoke was that her mouth felt drier than ever before. Confused, she tried to sit up, at which her hand of its own volition went straight to her forehead in reaction to the blinding pain. She lay back down and watched as the door swung open and a young woman wearing pale green scrubs entered the room, a bright smile on her face.

She touched her head as the memories came flooding back of feeling herself falling and falling. “I remember.” Thank God. For a moment when the nurse mentioned accident she thought she might have suffered memory loss.

“Are you up for a visitor after you get the ice?”

“Visitor?” Her mind immediately ran to Aidan. Liya wondered if he knew about her accident. If he did, she wasn’t even sure if he’d go out of his way to visit and lose the peace and solitude he now had by having her out of his life. The nurse must have been referring to her friends Shawn and Tasha. “I’d love to see a familiar face.”

The nurse quietly left the room and a minute later the door was opened yet again. Liya glanced up, eagerly anticipating the ice. Her eyes widened as Aidan stepped through the doorway, a paper cup in hand.

Liya blinked in surprise. “Aidan?”

He entered the room slowly as if unsure of himself. “I wanted to see how you were doing.” He dipped his hand into the cup and pressed an ice chip to her lips. Liya opened her mouth, allowing the ice to melt on her tongue.

“How did you know I was here?”

“James, Dr. Northrop told me. How do you feel?”

“Oh, okay. I’m doing all right I suppose. The nurse was in here and she seemed pleased enough.” She trailed off and turned her head sideways. It was painful to know if she hadn’t almost gotten herself killed that Aidan wouldn’t have made contact with her.

“You can’t imagine what it felt like in those moments when I didn’t know if you were dead or alive.”

She snapped her head to face him. “I’m alive, Aidan. I’ve been alive all this time and I never saw such concern from you since I left the cabin.” She took a deep breath, willing the anger away. “As you can see I’m fine. I appreciate your concern, but well, it’s not necessary anymore and we both know it. There’s no arrangement between us so you don’t have to pretend.”

“You think I was pretending when we were up at Bear Ridge? Everything we did, what I felt and told you. It was all pretense?”

She didn’t. But regardless of how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise, it stung that he had been so quick to forget her and get back to his normal life. “I shouldn’t have said that.” She put on a smile meant to placate him. “Anyway, thanks all the same for visiting. I’m sure you have your work to get back to. I’m probably going to get more visitors tomorrow, so I don’t want you to feel obligated to keep me company.”

“I love you,” he stated simply.

“What did you say?” She had to have misheard.

Aidan placed the cup on the metal stand. “I said I love you. This incident today. You have no idea how much it scared me, reminded me of—”

“Reminded you of when you lost your wife and daughter?” she finished for him.

He nodded. “Yes, I won’t lie. It brought back the memories. I was afraid of losing you and not being able to tell you how I feel.”

Aidan was saying all the things she had waited and dreamed of hearing, but something about his declaration of love left her numb. She loved him, there was no doubt, but why did it take her being laid up in a hospital bed for him to make this gallant confession?
He’s only saying it because the situation reminds him of Sarah
, she told herself. And she definitely did not want to be a second-rate Sarah for him.

“You don’t love me. You got scared today, like you said. I know on some level you care for me. It’s not love, Aidan. I knew that before the holiday was over but it didn’t stop me from laying it all out for you. I never made it a secret that I love you. I didn’t say it to pressure you into returning the sentiment. That’s why I left without telling you. I kept to my word. Your heart is safe, as always. No need to feel you owe me anything.”

He lowered his head. “That’s not true, sweetheart. You’re right, though. I should have tried to contact you sooner and I can only say it’s because I was still afraid to open my heart.”

Liya took a deep breath and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, Aidan.”

Shoulders slumped, he asked. “What is it going to take for you to believe I love you?”

Her heart twisted at the anguish in his voice. She wanted to believe him so badly, but it would serve no good to either of them if she grabbed a hold of his declaration brought about because of her injury.

“I don’t know,” she replied honestly. “I just know it’s not fair to either of us and I don’t want to feel like I’ve forced your hand into feeling something for me that you don’t.” Liya turned to him and grazed the back of her hand against his jaw. “This doesn’t mean I’m giving up on us, Aidan. Far from it. I just don’t want any relationship we have to be based on our fears.”

He closed his hands over hers and squeezed gently. “You don’t know what you’re asking Liya. I can’t leave you alone.”

She wiped away a teardrop from the corner of her eye. She couldn’t believe she was the one backing away from Aidan after all this time. “We just need some more time. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big girl, remember?”

Aidan gave her a small smile and shook his head. “You hit your head. There’s no way I can’t not worry about you, sweetheart.”

Liya leaned forward and swept her lips against his. “Just don’t keep me waiting a year.”

Aidan pressed his forehead to hers. “I won’t. I meant what I said, Liya. I love you and I’m going to prove it to you one way or the other.”

Chapter Twelve

For the next month and a half, Aidan kept to their agreement. As much as it pained him, he stayed away from Liya, hoping she too would suffer from the heartache of denying their love. He wanted her to miss him and yearn for him as he did her. But more important, he wanted Liya to realize that those three words he had told her in the hospital room were not borne out of fear, but out of a genuine desire to spend his life with her.

Liya might not have believed him then, but Aidan hoped that would change when she saw everything he had done. The apartment he had shared for so many years with Sarah was now listed on the market for sale. He had seen how much Liya enjoyed being outside of the city, but at the same time, both of their lives were still rooted here: he, with the hospital and clinic, and Liya with student teaching at one of the local elementary schools. Aidan had found the perfect place just outside the city: a white two-story colonial house surrounded by sugar maple and birch trees, with grass the realtor assured him was as green as emeralds in the springtime. It was going to be their house. At least if he could convince Liya once and for all that his love had only to do with her and no one or anything else.

Setting the last box on the hardwood floor, Aidan glanced up at his friend who had taken the time to help him move into the house. He scrubbed a hand to his jaw. One thing was for certain, his feelings for Liya never would have been challenged or brought so swiftly to light if it hadn’t been the meddling of his friend, James, who stood leaning against the breakfast nook pouring a glass of champagne.

“Isn’t it a bit late for that?” Aidan asked dryly, pointing to the champagne glass in his friend’s hand, miniscule bubbles sparkling below the surface.

James chuckled. “I’m celebrating.”

“What, might I be so bold to ask?”

James raised the glass in the air. “You. The new place. My scheming, and Liya mostly, for putting up with you for those three days in the cabin.”

Aidan clenched his fists. He was glad James mentioned it because despite everything that had taken place in the past two months he had been meaning to chew him out for sending Liya alone up there without any assurances that she wouldn’t be alone. “What if I hadn’t shown up? That’s two hours’ drive back and forth on the icy roads. I know you were trying to help, but if you ever pull a stunt like that again, you’re a dead man.”

James carefully placed the champagne glass on the counter and threw his head back, laughter rising from his chest. “Just tell me one thing, when is the wedding?”

Aidan grimaced. “More like, will the woman believe a word that comes out of my mouth?” He could easily tell her how much he loved her. That she wasn’t a stand in, but a gift from the heavens for everything he had been through, the actual words weren’t a hardship for him. Without a doubt, Liya meant everything to him. What he hated to admit, however, was the most painful thing, a thought that was as much sickening as joyous. Every road in his life led to her. From packing up and moving from California to the East Coast because Sarah had missed the rich copper of Vermont autumns, to the decision to open the clinic and more importantly, hire Liya because it felt right, although she had no experience as a receptionist or in the medical field save for taking care of her brother.

James grabbed his jacket and maneuvered around one of the many moving boxes he had yet to unpack. “There’ll be a wedding. Just make sure to schedule Hendricks or someone else to take over surgeries that day, eh? Best man duties and all.”

First he needed to find Liya and show her that from here on out he wanted to make new memories with her.

****

The next day Aidan tracked her down. She hadn’t been at home, although the elderly woman from across the hallway, peeking out of her door, let him know that she had just seen Liya from her window walking toward the park. On one hand he was grateful, but on the other, it was all too easy for the old woman to share this knowledge with anyone.

He didn’t bother to get into his car since the park was down the block from Liya’s apartment building. He opened the cast iron gates and entered the city park, deserted save for three children running through the snow, laughter fluttering through the air as they pelted each other with snowballs.

He smiled at the children. Would he and Liya have kids one day? Then he thought about the precautions he had taken while they made love. Aidan hung his head. He knew she understood, but it had to hurt nonetheless that he had been so unwilling to share such an intimacy with her as giving her his seed. He hoped any children they had together would be as caring as Liya and have her beauty not just on the outside. He loved her just the way she was: gorgeous, soft and female.

And on the ice…she looked like an angel. Aidan was grateful she had made a full recovery from the accident and Dr. Samson had told him he didn’t anticipate Liya having any problems in the future because of the blow to the head. He noted that she had on a pair of skates identical to the pair in the gift box lying on the backseat of his car.

Her arms were held out until she slowed, spun in an elegant circle then jammed the point of the blade in the ice. She had seen him. A rogue corkscrew curl fell onto her forehead, resting on her lush lips. She plucked it off and stared openly at him before skating over, a big smile on her face.