Chaste (McCullough Mountain) (35 page)

“It
wasn’t loaded.”

“Well,
that helps, but suffice it to say anyone with a gun makes me nervous.”

“Fair
enough.”

“Why
does my family make you nervous?” She shrugged and looked away. He pinched her
toe. “Hey. Talk to me. That’s what this is, right?”

“They
don’t really. I mean, I know Colin and Mallory and I sort of know Finnegan.
Sheilagh’s always intimidated me.”

“Why?”

Her
lips pursed. “She’s just so…there. She brings a room to attention the second
she steps inside. She’s strikingly beautiful, always smiling, and nothing seems
to scare her.”

That
sounded accurate, but… “That’s not really who she is, though.”

“That’s
the girl I’ve known since grade school.”

“Because
Sheilagh’s smart. That’s who she wants everyone to see, but really she’s afraid
of her own shadow. If she stopped pretending to be the life of the party every
minute people would see the real her and that terrifies her.”

“Why?”

He
shrugged. “Because every woman isn’t as confident as you. They’d rather be fake
than lonely. You stick by your principles and don’t worry if the world agrees.
It’s a very sexy quality.” Dark pink darts formed on her cheeks as she lowered
her gaze. “And these toes…” He groaned. “I could spend days just kissing your
feet.”

“My
feet?”

He
leaned onto his arm and slid a hand up her loose pant leg. Her calf was soft
and narrow. His fingers tightened, massaging the arch of her foot. “Mmm-hmm.”
He kissed her big toe and the curve of her foot. His hands worked over her thin
ankle as his thumbs dug into the tender muscles of her lower leg.

She
eased back onto her elbows as his mouth made a slow journey to her knee,
traveling over the soft sensitive spots in the back. “See how sensual these
feet are? I bet you’re wet.”

She
gasped. “Kelly!”

Kissing
his way back down, he dragged his tongue over the delicate indent of her ankle.
“We’re gonna be married. I’m allowed to make assumptions at this point. Are you
wet, Ash?”

She
made a sound of discomposure, but it was the same sound she made right before
he made her come. Her discomfort was with his brazen words, not what he was
doing to her physically.

The
beautiful thing about cargo pants was the way they hung off her tiny frame. He
slipped his hand under the fabric bunched at her knee, traced the tops of his
fingernails over her soft thighs, and didn’t stop until he came into contact
with the cotton of her wet panties. “Wet.”

He
kissed the top of her foot and retracted his hand, lifting his gaze to hers.
“It’s okay for us to talk that way, Ashlynn. I’m going to be your husband. You
can tell me anything.”

And
in that moment he admitted trust should be reciprocated. Disclosure was
something he’d have to work on, because he still feared too many confessions on
his part would destroy the illusion she’d created. Maybe her optimism and faith
in his goodness was farfetched, but so long as he never let her down, it never
had to diminish.

Her
face was flushed and her breasts pressed against the cotton of her shirt as she
took shallow breaths. Her lips parted and she whispered, “I want to have sex
with you.”

He
stilled. “Now?” They couldn’t. She didn’t shake her head. Zero to ninety his
body went from stiff to rock hard. Time to reel them back in. His mouth curved
into a soft smile. “Ash love, I’ll never have sex with you.” Her brow pinched.
“I’ll make love to you. But not until we’re married.”

Her
head fell back and she groaned, pressing her face into her palms. “What are you
doing to me, Mr. McCullough?”

He
climbed up her body and kissed her neck. “Seducing you. Do you like it?”

“Yes.
No. I don’t know. You make me feel unstable. No one’s ever done that to me
before.”

“I’ll
do it to you for the rest of your life, love. Because that’s what you do to me
and that’s what marriage is—forever.”

She
turned her face and peeked through her fingers at him. Her lips pressed to his
cheek and she whispered, “Thank you.”

“For?”

“Everything.
For giving me forever with you. I don’t know if even that will be enough for me
to get my fill.”

The
corner of his mouth kicked up and he grinned. “I’m wondering the same thing
about you.”

He
kissed her softly than eased his body away. It was dangerous lying with her in
a bed—
her
bed. Fighting off his arousal, he helped her sit up and
scooted back to his papers. “Shall we?”

She
ran a hand over her hair and messed it up in the sexiest way possible. Clearing
her throat, she said, “Yes.”

When
they got to part two he wished he had some vodka for his tea. Ashlynn also
seemed to lose a bit of her confidence. Her voice was unsure as she read the
first statement. “What worries me about marriage is…inadequacy.”

He
frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

She
shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s the best answer I could think of.”

“Don’t
shrug it off. Tell me what you meant. Whose inadequacy?”

“Certainly
not
yours
.”

His
eyes widened.
“Yours?”

She
nodded shyly. These worksheets were stupid and making them feel bad. He tossed
his aside and went to her, turning her face so she looked at him. “Hey, what
are you afraid you’ll be inadequate about?”

“Everything.
My parents were so happy. I know that isn’t the norm. What if I can’t make you
happy.”

“It
isn’t your job to make me happy. It’s our job to find a happy medium,” he said.

“But
what if I disappoint you somehow. What if I’m terrible in bed or I can’t cook
or I lose a leg or get in a horrible wreck and I’m suddenly hideous.”

His
face screwed up to one side. “Lose a leg?”

“It
could happen.”

“Then
I’d build you a crutch. You’re worried about things that don’t matter, love. It
isn’t what you look like on the outside. It’s what’s in here that matters.
Plus, you’re a terrific cook.”

“What
about the sex?”

“Sex
requires two people. If one sucks, so does the other. It’s only polite.”

She
shoved him. “I’m serious!”

“So
am I. It’s something you do together. You’ll see. You have to trust me on
this.”

“I
guess you’re experienced enough,” she mumbled dryly.

Her
tone snagged his ego. “Are you jealous?”

She
met his gaze, all business. “Yes.”

Shame
should have played a part—maybe it did—but the emotion making him smile was
definitely deep, ingrained, raw male satisfaction. Damn, the possessive glint
in her eye was sexy.

“Well,
you get me for the rest of your life,” he said, toppling her to the bed. “It’s
all the others who will be jealous, jealous of me, because I’ll have the
hottest wife in town, and jealous of you, because—” He rolled his eyes and gave
her a cheeky smile. “Well, I am Kelly McCullough after all. You’ll be glowing
like the Christmas star every day of the year once I get ahold of you.”

She
laughed and shoved him. His lips pressed to hers and she sighed, giving into
the kiss. He leaned over her body and soft curves pushed against his clothes.
Her hands dragged through his hair sending sharp little shivers skating up his
spine.

“Kelly…”
she moaned.

“Yes,
love?”

“I
want to finish these worksheets as soon as possible. It’s getting harder and
harder.”

“I
know,” he chuckled, nudging her at the hip.

“You
know what I mean.”

He
sat up and scrubbed his hands over his face. She was right. The sooner they
finished the worksheets the sooner they could meet with Father Mark and book
their ceremony. They kept their distance as they went through the following six
questions.

What
took twenty minutes to answer took two hours to review. They talked about each
answer and Kelly actually learned a lot about Ashlynn and himself.

It
was easy to write something down. Looking into the face of his future wife and
admitting it, was a whole other animal. But he’d ask her to push her limits and
be honest with him and that meant she deserved the same.

Kelly
confessed he was sloppy and not always on time. Ashlynn told him she was a
closet miser who hated to burn daylight, which he already sort of knew.

She
admitted that she hated all the times she’d watched him flirt with other women
and he vowed to stop. He was territorial, too, where she was concerned and they
both seemed to agree there was no room for overtures concerning others in their
marriage.

When
they reached part three it was almost midnight. Ashlynn made coffee and they
committed to go as far as they could. Three was a biggie.
Why do you want to
marry this person?

After
so much talking they seemed to let down their respective guard. Kelly thought
about his answer and expressed it the best he could. Ashlynn was writing
another book. As he waited, he slipped back into the kitchen and returned with
some brownies he found sitting on the oven. He loved that she baked.

“I’m
finished,” she said as he walked in the room.

“Do
you want to go first?”

“Okay.”
She pulled her paper close and read.
“I want to marry him because he is a
good man with a good heart. He is gentle and patient and kind. When I look at
him I never know what he’s going to say, but most times his words leave me with
a smile. He sees me like no one else does and I know I can be myself whenever
he’s there, because that’s who he knows and that’s who he wants. I think of him
when he’s absent. Miss him the moment he says goodbye. He’s the man I want to
take this journey with, because I trust he will always be the Kelly McCullough
I know.”

Kelly
was speechless. His head was spinning at her words. “Wow.”

She
smiled and stole his brownie. “Your turn.”

Kelly
frowned at his paper. It was nothing close to all the wonderful things she
said. “I think I should write more.”

She
snatched the pen from him. “No changing your answers. Read.”

He
swallowed and sipped his coffee. “I want to marry her because…” he glanced at
her and said, “I love her.”

Ashlynn’s
smile faded as she blinked at him. Her lips parted. “You do?”

He
nodded his head. What did she mean
you do?
“Of course I do. I don’t go
around proposing marriage every day. You’re the first girl I’ve ever loved. And
I’m determined to make it keep. You’ll be the last.”

She
flung herself at him, toppling him to the bed. Her lips pressed hard to his.
“You know I love you too, right?”

There
was nothing quite like the light and euphoric sensation coddling his heart as
those words left her lips. He laughed. “I do now.”

She
kissed him, her mouth tasting like brownies, and whispered, “Thank you for
loving me.”

It
was in that moment that his love doubled. He suspected that would happen again
and again, each time Ashlynn showed him a little more of herself.

The
next two sections were about the sacrament of marriage and their thoughts on
God. When they finished, Kelly was too exhausted to read a clock, so he had no
idea what time it was.

“Do
you want to finish the last section?”

He
groaned. “Didn’t you wake up at dawn? How are you still going?”

“I
put nothing but good things in my body. I’m like the energizer bunny.”

“You
have a tray of brownies in your kitchen.”

“You
weren’t supposed to see that. I
am
human
and
female.”

“I
think we should finish tomorrow,” he mumbled.

Her
brow lifted in surprise. “Really? The last part’s all about sex.”

He
sat up, suddenly revived. “Let’s do this.”

She
laughed. “Here’s your pen. Such a devoted student.”

“I’m
doing this for our Lord and Savior.”

“I’m
so sure,” she grumbled.

Kelly
ran through the questions without a hitch. This part was like the lightning
round and he was the reigning champion. Ashlynn, however, seemed to struggle.
He shut his eyes and waited for her to finish.

A
while later she nudged him. “Kelly. I’m finished.”

He
shifted and sat up, scrubbing his palms over his tired lids. “You want to go
first?”

She
looked nervous. “I think you should go first on these.”

He
grabbed his paper and cleared his throat. The first section was a fill in the
blank.
Sex is
good
in marriage.”

She
glanced at her paper. “I put ‘a sacrament’.”

He
nodded. “Both true. Number two…
When it comes to sex and marriage, my needs
are
frequent
and my partner’s needs are
always going to be
satisfied
.”
He gave her a naughty smile.