Chasing Mrs. Right (8 page)

Chapter Eleven

By the time Ian drove back into her office parking lot, Roxanne was a mess. After what happened in her office, she’d been sure she could keep the upper hand, but somewhere around the time they pulled into the parking lot of the Thai place, she’d forgotten all about guarding herself. She
liked
spending time with him. That feeling of being safe that he’d created while he held her hadn’t dissipated at all—if anything, it’d gotten stronger the more they talked.

The kicker of it was that she wanted him to feel as safe with her as she did with him. That’s why she’d picked the Taste of Thai. On top of having the best Thai food north of downtown, the restaurant itself was always quiet. She thought he’d appreciate the lack of frenetic pace that most big chain restaurants had.

It was part of the reason she’d held his hand on the drive to the restaurant, made sure she touched him again while they were at the table, and had her hand on his thigh now.

The fact that she was even taking such things into consideration made her chest ache. She wanted to spend more time with him—and not just naked time. She wanted to show him the bits and pieces she hid from everyone else. She wanted to be there for him while he readjusted to non-military life. She wanted…a lot of things.

This is where it starts, baby girl. All those feel-good emotions running through you? Those fuck up your head. They make you believe in impossible things. It’s even worse if he’s right there with you, because he’s making promises he fully intends on keeping. He won’t, though. Something will happen and he’ll sit you down with regret in his eyes, and he’ll tell you that it’s not you—it’s him. You’ll lose your damn head, your heart, and your self-respect, and you’ll be left with nothing when it falls apart.

And it
will
fall apart. It always does.

God, her mother’s voice was so clear that she could have been sitting in the truck next to Roxanne, whispering in her ear. The truth of those words hammered down her cautious happiness, smothering it more thoroughly than if she’d been thrown headfirst into an icy lake. It would be far too easy to slide into this thing with Ian.

She wasn’t much a fan of repeating history. The only way to save herself was to get out—sooner rather than later. “Well…this is me.” She reached for the passenger door handle, but his hand on her arm stopped her. She chose not to acknowledge how her stomach leaped and her heart tried to beat its way out of her chest at that little touch. It was just her body betraying her, hormones trying to make her believe truths she had no business considering.

“I had a really good time. Thank you.”

Hell, she did, too. And not just because she’d started off the date with an orgasm. Looking at his too-pretty-to-be-real face, she actually considered throwing caution to the wind and letting this play out. Maybe it wouldn’t end too terribly. Maybe she should stop being so terrified she’d end up bitter and alone like her mother and just enjoy the ride.

She wasn’t sure she could. Fear of the future held her too tightly. “Me, too.”

“Let’s do it again sometime.”

Danger, Will Robinson
. Doing it again could turn into a string of dates leading up to some expected commitment—to some declaration of
love
. She didn’t doubt for a second that he’d feel it. Hell, she would, too. The very thought made her rub her arms like she was breaking out in hives. Their giddy, feel-good interactions wouldn’t last, though. Pretty soon the very things about her that he claimed to like so much would turn into things he couldn’t stand. They’d fight again and again, each time getting more and more vicious. They’d scream unforgivable things at each other. It didn’t matter how great things were right now, the end result was still the same—they’d end up hating each other and going their separate ways. It might take weeks, months, years, but it would happen.

And then he would leave.

Still, she couldn’t quite make herself shoot him down. “We’ll see.” She opened the truck door and slipped free of his grip. Even now, she wanted to invite him over, if only so they could keep the magic of the night going. When she was with him, she wasn’t worried about the future. Hell, she hadn’t even
thought
about it until just now.

Roxanne pushed the unlock button, so caught up in her own world that she didn’t realize Ian had gotten out of his truck until he spun her around and pressed her against her car. “You forgot something.”

With the full length of his body against hers, it was really hard to think. Maybe it was time to reconsider hot monkey sex? She was already in trouble, so it wasn’t like things could get much worse. She tried really hard not to stare at his mouth. “Uh…I did?”

“Yeah.” He traced her bottom lip with his thumb, the touch sending desire curling through her. How the hell did he manage to do that, again and again, with only the barest of touches? It didn’t make any sense, but she couldn’t concentrate enough to figure out how he did it.

He kissed her, but he didn’t stop at her mouth. He worked his way over her jawline and down her neck, giving a whole lotta attention to the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulders.
Oh my
. Her knees buckled, and Ian—of course—caught her. The fact that she just assumed he’d catch her almost shoved her out of her sensual haze, but then he set his teeth against her skin and all rational thought fled.

Just when she thought he’d take it to the next level—lift her against the car and make her scream his name right here in the parking lot—Ian groaned and stepped back. “You make it really hard to keep my control.”

She reached for him before she could stop herself. “Then why stop?”

“Because.” He caught her hands and pressed a kiss to each palm before he let go and took another step back, taking the heat of his body with him. He shook his head as if coming out of a daze. “Because, Roxanne, as much fun as this is, I’m not looking for a booty call.”

She laughed. “What are you saying? You want to
date
-date me?”

“Actually, yeah.”

Her laugh died in the face of how serious he was, desire replaced with something closer to fear. “You’re joking.”

“I’d rather not ruin a fantastic night by arguing.”

Ian ducked in, kissed her again, and was out of reach before she could respond. Because, really, what was she going to say?
No, you beautiful man, I can’t date you because, not only are you my best friend’s older brother—and therefore off-limits—but you make me feel things that are so far outside my comfort level, I don’t even know where to start. And I really like you, which just means this entire thing will end in tears.
Yeah, that sounded so freaking well-adjusted it wasn’t even funny.

Then again, she wasn’t exactly the picture you’d see when you looked up “well-adjusted” in the dictionary. More like neurotic.

By the time she got a handle on the crazy train of her thoughts, Ian was in his truck. He didn’t pull away, though. Apparently he was going to sit there like a goddamn gentleman and wait for her to get into her car and drive away. Which totally shouldn’t piss her off…but it did.

Why couldn’t he be an asshole? Pretty much every other guy she’d run across had been—even the ones who were self-proclaimed “nice guys.” Gritting her teeth and telling herself that being pissed wasn’t a legit response, even if it was better than being afraid, Roxanne climbed into her car and started the engine. She even locked her doors as a nod to Ian’s paranoia—which totally wasn’t sweet or making her melty underneath the exterior of her hardened annoyance. Right.

He didn’t drive away until she pulled into the street. She was halfway surprised he didn’t follow her all the way home. If there was some disappointment mixed in with the relief when he turned in the other direction, it wasn’t as if he’d ever know.

“Stop thinking about turning around and following him to the gallery. It’s a bad idea on so many different levels.” She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. Knowing Ian was a bad idea hadn’t stopped her before. She might as well make it a running trend. One last fateful good-bye. Not that she really believed he would walk away. Except she kind of did—it was only a matter of time, now that she’d realized she actually cared for him.

But she didn’t want him to leave. She wanted to hold him close until they were so wrapped up in each other he’d never want to leave. He’d never be content unless things were on his terms, though, and she highly doubted his terms included them hiding out from their inevitable fate by having so much sex they didn’t have the energy to talk, let alone fight.

Problem was, Ian was a freaking caveman. He muscled his way through her objections and outmaneuvered her time and again. Not to mention the man had a serious streak of stubbornness that impressed even her.

They were doomed.

So why was she winding through the streets instead of heading home? The slow u-turn took nearly twenty minutes and encompassed several neighborhoods, and no matter how expertly she tried to talk herself out of it, Roxanne couldn’t stop. Hell, she must have gone on autopilot because she blinked and next thing she knew, she was standing on the gallery’s doorstep. Even knowing how it would end, she couldn’t deny the need demanding more time with him. Before she could spin around and run like a bat out of hell, the door opened.

“Roxanne? What are you doing out here?” Ian, God bless his soul, was shirtless again, dressed in a pair of basketball shorts and running shoes.

She licked her lips, considering and throwing away a couple different answers. None of them were good enough. They’d all open up into an awkward conversation about her fears and issues that would, no doubt, end up with her going home alone again. If she gave him half a chance, he was going to put the brakes on and make her talk it out.

No way.

She threw herself into his arms and kissed him with everything she had. This was her Hail Mary pass. If he turned her away now, they’d have to have a sit-down, and it really would be the end because, try as she might to deny it… No. She flat-out wasn’t ready to admit anything else right now—even to herself.
Especially
to herself.

Ian went still, his hands on her hips ready to either draw her closer or push her away, she couldn’t tell. From the tension in his body, she guessed he was leaning toward the latter.

So she played dirty.

She sucked on his bottom lip, raking her teeth gently over the sensitive flesh. When he groaned, she knew she had him. She reached between them and cupped the front of his shorts, earning another groan. “Please, Ian. I need you right now.”

That must have been the final nail in the coffin containing his control, because he dragged her into the gallery and kicked the door shut behind her. She would have liked to say her words were pure calculation, but Roxanne thought she might lose it if she didn’t get naked with him in the next thirty seconds.

This desperation… She’d never felt anything like it. It swept away all worry, hesitation, and control, leaving only need in its wake. She wasn’t sure they’d like what they found on the other side, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Right now, in this moment, she didn’t have to worry about messy emotions or the future. The feeling of his hands on her body chased away all of it.

Maybe she needed his touch nearly as much as he needed hers.

He pulled her dress over her head as they started up the stairs. “We’re supposed to be waiting.”

“I was never that good at waiting.” She shoved both his shorts and his boxer briefs down. Holy shit, was she ever going to get used to this man’s body? Would she even have a chance to?

No, those weren’t good thoughts. No use thinking about the future, not when Ian was standing so freaking gloriously naked in front of her.

“Me either.” He unclasped her bra and tossed it to the side. “It was really hard to stop earlier.”

She ran a single finger down his neck, over his chest, and down the centerline of his abs. “You mean when you had me on my desk, dress shoved up around my waist, coming for you?”

“Yeah, then.” His voice deepened. “All I wanted was to fuck you right there in the middle of your office where your assistant could have walked in at any time.”

It was suddenly really hard to catch her breath. She moved her hand a little lower, until her palm brushed against the head of his cock. “I wanted that, too.”

“Next time, I’m not going to hesitate.”

There was something too vulnerable, too real, about standing here naked, talking about sex, with their only contact her hand on his lower stomach. She licked her lips. “Good.”

Ian looped an arm around her waist and brought her flush against him. “Glad we’ve reached an understanding.” He fisted his free hand in her hair and bent her backward over his arm, the position leaving her to rely on him to keep her from falling down the few stairs they’d managed to climb. He leaned over and claimed first one nipple and then the other, sucking until her back bowed, and she tangled her fingers in his hair. Until her entire world became his mouth on her skin. “I could spend hours on your breasts alone,” he growled.

As great as that sounded, she needed more, and she needed it now. “Ian,
please
.”

Chapter Twelve

They were supposed to be waiting, holding off until Ian courted Roxanne properly. He’d damn near made a list on why this was a good idea, on how he could rely on sweating out his demons until they moved forward with their relationship, and all those reasons had flown right out the window when she showed up on his doorstep. The second she’d touched him, he’d been lost.

He sucked her nipple into his mouth again, loving the taste of her skin, how her fingers twisted his hair, how her entire body shook because of
him
. It was a heady thing knowing he could make her lose her beloved control.

It was more than that, though. With her in his arms, there was no room for other worries. All of his anxiety melted away.

When he lifted her higher, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He didn’t hesitate, shoving her against the wall and his cock home. They both groaned as she clamped around him. “
Holy shit
.”

Good as this felt, he couldn’t take her here on the stairs. She deserved better than that. Keeping his grip on her hips, he started up the stairs, Roxanne riding him the entire way. It was a struggle to get the loft door open, but he managed.

As he walked into the bedroom, she rotated her hips and Ian missed a step, tumbling them onto the bed. Her laughter was a balm to his very soul.

“Smooth, Charming.”

“I do what I can.” He ran his hands over her body, still a little bit in awe that she was here, with him, and decided right then and there that he’d do what it took to see this through. A connection like this didn’t come along every day. He’d be a damn fool to let it slip past without giving it a fighting chance.

She moaned as he thrust into her. “God, you feel so good.”

“So do you. Christ, woman, I’m never going to get enough of you.”

Never? Never was a whole hell of a long time—too long for him to be promising—but she kissed him, effectively taking away his ability to speak. “Stop talking and make me come.”

He didn’t miss her reluctance to talk about the future, even in these terms, but he let it go. Right now all he really cared about was feeling her come apart around him. He slid back to the edge of the bed so he could stand, and lifted her hips. The change in angle had her arching her back, and a high, keening sound spilled from her mouth. Close. She was damn close. He forced himself to keep a steady pace, even though the strain nearly did him in. “Come for me, Roxanne.
Now
.”

She shrieked and dug her nails into his thighs, the thrashing of her body sending him off the edge after her. His control slipped, and he pounded into her, groaning as his orgasm took him. He collapsed next to her and pulled Roxanne against him. “Don’t you dare pull a runner on me.”

“Mmmmm.” She didn’t open her eyes, but she smiled. “That would require me to be able to use my legs.”

A foolish pride made him want to beat his chest and yell in victory. It was stupid, but he couldn’t deny the urge. He kissed her temple. “Good.”

She snuggled up against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I promise I won’t leave without saying good-bye.”

Considering she could very easily yell it over her shoulder as she ran out the door, he took her promise with a grain of salt. Still, it was better than she’d offered up to this point. Ian wanted to cement things, so he played his trump card. “Stay and I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.”

“You cook?” She yawned. “I like my eggs with a side of orgasms.”

He laughed and settled in, sleep already threatening. “I think I can make that happen.”

“I knew I liked you.”

It wasn’t a declaration of undying devotion, and it wasn’t a promise of any kind of future thing, but his heart warmed all the same. “I like you, too.”

…

Ian woke up with a beautiful, naked woman in his arms and a smile on his face. This, he could get used to. He kept on smiling right up until Roxanne stretched, the sheet sliding down to reveal her breasts. “I should go.” But she laughed as he dragged the sheet lower, following its trail with his mouth.

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh, you brute, won’t you let me go?” She spread her legs and gave the top of his head a helpful little push southward. “I have places to be and things to do.”

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing.” He sat up and climbed off the bed. When she made a protesting noise, Ian hooked her ankle and dragged her to the edge. Then he hauled her up and tossed her over his shoulder.

“Oh my God, what are you doing?” She smacked his ass. “On second thought… Carry on.”

He carefully walked into the bathroom, mindful of her head, and set her on the counter. “You’ve been a dirty girl. It’s time to get clean.”

She rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

Yeah, it did sound kind of dorky now that he thought about it. He laughed. “There’s going to be shower sex involved. You sure you want to criticize?”

She cocked her head to the side as if considering. “You’re right. I’ve been totally dirty—definitely in need of a very thorough cleaning. Luckily, I think you’re just the man for the job.”

“Glad we agree.” He stepped away from her long enough to get the shower going and to make sure the water was warm enough. There was nothing quite as libido-killing as a freezing shower, though he wasn’t sure even that would be enough to distract him from this woman. Not when she was sitting on the counter, as prim and proper as could be—if you ignored the fact that she was naked.

“I’m kind of digging the way you’re looking at me right now.”

His gaze followed the lines of her body, finally reaching her face. It was the kind of slow perusal that could get a man slapped if he wasn’t careful. Still, he asked, “How am I looking at you right now?”

“Like you aren’t sure you can wait for us to walk the two steps it’ll take to get into the shower.” She slid off the counter. “Funny, but I feel the same way.”

It was all the encouragement he needed. He spun her around and bent her over the counter. From this position, he could watch every expression on her face in the mirror as he drove into her.

Ian nudged her legs a little farther apart and pushed his way into her. He wasn’t sure he believed in heaven, but if it existed, it’d be something like this. In the mirror, she watched him watch her, her green eyes hooded with pleasure, her teeth digging into her bottom lip, a little sound slipping free of her mouth with every thrust. He stroked a hand down her spine, earning a shiver that made him gasp. Christ, if she did that again, he was going to come.

He bent over her back, reaching down her stomach to rub her clit as he kissed the back of her neck. Roxanne went wild beneath him, her hips undulating helplessly as she moaned his name. “Ian. Oh God, Ian. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

As if he could deny her anything when she pleaded in that tone of voice. One last thrust sent them both hurtling over the edge in one of those perfect moments he would have sworn didn’t exist. He kept an arm around her waist, but he wasn’t sure if it was to keep her knees from buckling or his.

She gave a shuddery little sigh. “If your plan is to sex me into submission, I’m not saying it’s working, but I’m not saying it’s not working either.”

“Good to know.” He let go of her long enough to recheck the water temperature, and then he opened the curtain. “After you, my lady.”

“Nerd.” But she took his hand and let him help her into the tub. She immediately ducked under the spray and shoved back her hair. When she turned around to face him, Ian got distracted with the water coursing over her body. She laughed. “Honey, we just had sex. Why are you still looking at me like that?”

He couldn’t stop himself from cupping her breasts and feathering his thumbs across her nipples. Responsive as she was, they immediately puckered. “I can’t help it.”

She laughed again, but this one sounded a bit forced. “Shouldn’t you be demanding a sandwich and taking a nap?”

What kind of idiots had she dated before now? He wasn’t about to miss any opportunity to touch her—to demonstrate exactly how much he wanted her.

But Roxanne was more skittish than a wild animal. She’d effectively shut him down every time he so much as mentioned the future or making plans or anything that referenced them other than in the immediate present. He wasn’t exactly sure how to get around that. Hell, maybe he
could
sex her into submission.

Even as the thought crossed his mind, he knew it for a lie. Roxanne used sex as a weapon, as a defense mechanism. It didn’t mean she was unaffected—no way was she as detached as she acted, or she wouldn’t be so desperate when he brought up dating—but she wasn’t about to let him in yet.

“Ian?”

“Yeah?” He wrapped his arms around her waist and propped his chin on the top of her head.

“You scare the shit out of me.”

He turned her around and kissed her, keeping it light, trying to convey what he felt without saying too much and ruining the moment by scaring her further. When he drew back, her green eyes were wide. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. I would never hurt you.” He reached past her and grabbed the body wash.

“What are you doing?”

“I seem to remember you telling me that you were in need of a very thorough cleaning.”

She laughed, and this time, it didn’t sound as forced. “I hate to be the one to break this to you, but that was me hitting on you.”

“Relax, woman, and let me soap you up.”

She arched her brow, but that hint of vulnerability crept into the depths of her eyes again. “If you want to get into my pants again, you don’t have to play games like this.”

Of course she couldn’t let the moment lie. She had to go and throw some sexual innuendo in there. “Roxanne, you aren’t wearing pants.” When she didn’t move, he sighed. “I’d really appreciate if you’d let me wash you.”

“You argue about the strangest things.”

She had a valid point, but for some reason this mattered to him. Part of it was because the comfort level it symbolized had nothing to do with sex, but mostly he wanted to stretch out this moment of peace between them as long as possible. He held up his sudsy hands. “Well?”

“Okay. You win
.
”

“It’s not about winning. It’s about being closer to you.” Ian didn’t wait for her to change her mind. He turned her around and pulled her against him. The position gave him full access to the front of her body, and though he kind of wanted to linger, he refused to let this lead to sex. Not now, when he finally understood that sex was yet another wall he had to scale in order to get to Roxanne’s heart. After soaping up her front, he turned her around again. “Come here.”

She looped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, resting her forehead on his shoulder. He rubbed her back, taking the time to work on the tense muscles lining her spine. It wasn’t as effective as if he had her laid out before him, but Roxanne did relax against him. Since she didn’t immediately pull away when he rinsed her, he grabbed the shampoo and went to work on her hair.

“I can wash my hair, you know.” Her voice sounded a little shaky.

“Do you want me to stop?”

He held still, waiting for her answer. This question, as simple as it seemed, mattered a lot more than he would have guessed. Either she would fight him on this like she’d fought him every step of the way up to this point, or they’d finally take a step in the right direction.

“No. I don’t want you to stop.” She sighed, the last of the tension leaving her body. “You know, I meant what I said last night.”

“What’s that?”

“I kind of like you.”

Part of him wanted to laugh, but this time, her confession felt like an actual move forward. It couldn’t have been easy for her to admit even that much. He smiled against her hair. “I kind of like you, too.”

He took his time running his hands over her body, liking how strangely comfortable this was. Or maybe he was in such a good mood because he’d actually slept through the night again last night. She’d pushed him past all the boundaries he thought he’d been confined by and had given him a glimpse of the normalcy he craved more than anything else in the world. He wanted that life—and Roxanne—more than he’d ever dreamed possible.