Change of Heart (18 page)

I roll my eyes. “I’m fine.” Protective Decker is in the house.

“Because we can go home if you want to.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m completely fine. Plus, I want to meet Jay.” If Jay hadn’t shown up, I would have been all over Decker’s offer to go home. Now, I need to meet the guy who has my roommate all kinds of frazzled.

He nods. “As long as you’re good.”

I squeeze his hand. “I’m safe with you, Decker.” He beams at me, then tucks me into his side. I feel warm all over, and it’s not from the little bit of alcohol I’d had. It’s from Decker.

When he opens the door, the noise level seems even more elevated from being outside in the quiet for so long. Decker grips my hand tightly, keeping me right behind him, as he leads me back to Kate. When we finally get to the high top table, Kate’s alone.

“Decker said Jay was here,” I call out, totally disappointed.

She nods and leans across the table so she doesn’t have to shout quite as loud. “He’s here with some friends. Just went to get another drink.”

I smile and nod as she shakes her head. She knows I’m looking forward to getting the opportunity to size him up. She gives me a look, one that begs me not to embarrass her. I wink back. I will neither confirm nor deny my intentions.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Decker

Casey and I have a pretty good buzz going. We’ve had a few drinks, but we’ve been dancing them off. I had absolutely no idea the girl could move, but damn. Watching her hips sway from side to side and having her rub up against me is bringing back memories. Some of my favorite memories.

Hell. Who am I kidding? All my favorite memories include Casey. The times I shared with her, in the bedroom and out, were better than baseball. Yeah, I said it.

“I’m gonna get some water,” I say, leaning in to speak in her ear. She nods that she heard me and keeps dancing with Kate.

I go back to our table, which Jay and his friends are guarding. I don’t know what’s going on between him and Kate, but I’m pretty sure he looks at her the way I look at Casey. Like she hung the moon and all the stars.

“Hey, man.” I nod as I grab an unopened bottle of water, twist the cap off, and chug.

“So what’s up with you and Casey?” he asks after I set the empty bottle down.

“What’s up with you and Kate?” I counter.

He smirks. “Kate says you two are ‘just friends,’ but I see the way you look at her.” For a badass looking dude with more muscles than me and a shitload of tattoos, he sure seems to wax poetic.

I shrug. “She’s my best friend. Has been my whole life.”

Now he laughs.
What the fuck?
“Kate says you two only just recently reconnected after being apart for a few years.”

“Yeah, so?”
Jesus, Is there anything Kate hasn’t told him?

“Does she know you’re in love with her?”

My eyes widen and I choke on my last swallow of water. “Excuse me?” I look around at his friends, but they’re involved in their own conversations and not paying any attention to us.

“She’s special, yeah?”

My eyes find Casey on the dance floor, and I can feel my face light up.

I nod in response to Jay’s question. “She’s everything.”

***

Much to Casey’s surprise, and mine if I’m being honest, Kate decides to go home with Jay after the club so we have the apartment to ourselves. I’m in the kitchen fixing us a nightcap while Casey is in her bedroom changing. I’m trying not to think about her naked in the other room. But it’s hard. Physically and literally.

Suddenly I feel her tiny arms wind their way around my chest. “Whatcha doin’ handsome?”

Okay, so she’s still a little buzzed. And I can’t say that feeling her hot little body pressed up against my back doesn’t feel heavenly.

“Fixing you some tea,” I tell her, after regaining my composure. “Blueberry something or other.” I turn around in her arms and she beams up at me.
Ugh
. Feeling her pressed up against the front of my body is so much better.

“Thank you, Decker. You take such good care of me.”

I smile back. “I always will.”

Her smile falters slightly as she takes the mug from me. “Let’s watch some TV in my room.”

I grab my hot chocolate—don’t judge—and dutifully follow her down the short hall to her room. She’s wearing these tiny pink and white striped pajamas and it’s really difficult to think straight.

“Decker?”

“Huh?”

She laughs over her shoulder. “I asked what you want to watch.”

I shrug. “Whatever you want is fine.”

“Desperate Housewives?”

“Hell no!” What the crap is wrong with her?

She laughs. “Just checking to see if you were paying attention.”

“Sorry, still a little buzzed I guess.” A half-truth. I
am
a little buzzed on the alcohol, but I’m mostly high on her.

I set my mug on the nightstand and flop down on the bed, resting my head on her pillow. It smells just like her. Sweet. Sexy. Casey.

She sets her mug down beside mine and crawls across me, rubbing her breasts and pelvis against me as she goes. Evil woman. Once she’s settled beside me, she sneaks a peek up at me. Her big, innocent brown eyes boring into mine.

She knows exactly what she’s doing. The little shit. Well, two can play that game.

I smile down at her. “Mind if I get more comfortable?” She shakes her head in the negative and I stand from the bed. She quickly hustles underneath the covers as I take off my shirt and jeans, leaving me in only form-fitting boxer briefs.

She bites her bottom lip as I get into bed beside her and underneath the covers. I reach my hand up to her face and rub my thumb across her bottom lip, breaking it free of the confines of her teeth. I smirk and lean back down against the pillow, laughing to myself as she huffs.

She has on the Game Show Network and an old episode of
Family Feud
is on. We’re calling out answers and laughing at some of the things the contestants are coming up with when I suddenly feel her leg against mine.

I hope she doesn’t hear my sharp intake of breath, but judging by the fact that she starts running her foot up and down my leg, I’m certain she did. I school my expression, waiting to see how this plays out.

Does she want me as badly as I want her? It’s been almost three years since I’ve felt her in an intimate way and memories of the delicious sensations are making it hard to resist rolling over and claiming her right now.

Apparently the same cannot be said for Casey, because all of a sudden she’s on me.
She
takes
my
mouth in a punishing kiss, and I’m stunned before quickly coming to my senses.

I raise my arms to her sides, slipping them beneath her little tank top and feeling her skin. I suck her bottom lip into my mouth as I slowly raise her top.

She pulls back and shakes her head. “Shirt stays on,” she whispers quickly before falling back on my mouth. Our tongues are intertwined in an intense, passionate, crazy dance.

God she tastes so good.

I run my hands down her body and grab her ass, holding on tight as I flip us over. Her legs spread apart, and I rest between them, thrusting myself against her.

She feels so good, too.

“Oh…
Decker
…that feels so good,” she moans out, grinding against my thrusts.

Jesus, I feel like a virgin again, ready to blow, and we’ve both still got our clothes on. I pull back and look into her eyes. They are clear, not the slightest bit of hesitation in their chocolate depths.

She reaches down to the waistband of my boxers and pushes the right side down over my hip.

“Are you sure?” I ask her, still looking into her eyes for any hint of indecision or drunkenness, but all I see is clarity, desire and longing.

She nods desperately and continues to push my shorts down, bending her knees and using her feet to bring them the rest of the way. I lean forward and take her lips again, licking and sucking, first the upper then the lower…hoping to convey everything I am feeling in that one connection.

She’s it for me. It’s always been Casey. It’ll always be her.

I kiss a trail down her cheek, then her neck, quickly moving over the clothed portion of her body. I make a mental note to ask her what that’s about later—it’s not like it’s anything I haven’t already seen. But I don’t want to ruin this moment with talking. We can talk later.

Using both hands, I grip the waistband of her pajama shorts and pull them and her panties down in one swoop. I lean in and place a kiss just below her naval, but before I can go any lower she grabs me by my biceps and pulls me up.

“Make love to me, Decker,” she begs into my mouth.

I look into her eyes again, still as clear and beautiful as ever. “No regrets?”

She shakes her head. “Never,” she promises me.

“Shit,” I pause, pulling away.

She grabs on to my arms and pulls me closer. “What is it?”

“I need a condom,” I say, pulling away again.

“I’m safe. I’m on the pill. I’m safe, Decker. Please. Please just make love to me.” There is a quiet desperation in her voice, and her eyes are wild. With passion? With want?

I frame her face in my hands and kiss her, massaging her tongue with mine. “I love you, Casey. I love you so damn much,” I confess as I thrust inside her.

I’m home.

Casey’s my home. Always has been, always will be.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Casey

I wake up and stretch, deliciously sore from the previous night’s activities. Decker and I made love all night long. I grin as the memories run through my mind. That’s exactly what it was—love. He told me as much.

I should have returned the sentiment—I wanted to. I feel it. I’ve always felt it. But I couldn’t. Not when this is going to have to end. Regret begins to swirl deep in my gut.

How could I be so stupid? This is only going to make everything that much worse! For both of us, but him especially.

I roll over to face Decker. He is so beautiful, so peaceful. I haven’t seen him look this calm, even in sleep, since we’ve reunited. He’s lying on his back, a few of his long hairs lay haphazardly over his forehead. His lashes rest on his cheeks, which are still a little flush with color.

I reach my arm over and gently brush his hair off his forehead, running my fingers down the side of his face. The corners of his mouth tip up, and I know he’s awake.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he says in his sleep-sexy voice that makes my whole body tremble.

I look past him to the nightstand and see that it’s just after noon. “More like afternoon,” I correct.

He looks over at the clock, eyes wide. “Wow, I haven’t slept this late in a long time.”

“Me neither.”

“I guess we did only go to bed a few hours ago,” he smirks and winks.

I feel my cheeks heat and try to roll away, but he’s too quick. He rolls over and reaches out with his long arm to hook me back in. Now we’re lying on our sides, my back to his front. Still naked.

“Um, Decker?”

“Um, Casey?”

I lightly nudge him with my elbow. “Don’t you think we should get up?”

“Nah,” he says, pulling me in tighter. “I think it would be perfectly fine if we stay here like this forever.”

I sigh. My mind is warring against itself. On one hand, Decker is absolutely right. It would be perfectly fine if we stay like this forever. On the other hand, reality bites. We can’t stay here forever. Not even close.

“I have to pee,” I say, wriggling free of his grasp.

“Hurry back!”

***

I manage to escape falling back into bed with Decker by claiming I need to refuel. He’s a guy, so he buys it. I head to the kitchen to scavenge for breakfast. I haven’t shopped for groceries since I’ve been back so I’m hoping Kate has something since Decker and I have been doing a lot of dining out.

I hear a noise from the back of the apartment and realize Decker must be finally getting out of bed. I snatch up a blueberry yogurt from the back of the fridge and check the date. Satisfied I’m not going to get sick, I grab a spoon and take a seat at the table. I peel off the lid and take in one heavenly spoonful.

Mmm, sustenance.

Decker starts the shower and I freeze. That’s not close enough to be the bathroom he’s supposed to be sharing with Kate. He’s in
my
bathroom.

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I drop the yogurt, not caring if it spills out on the table, and run from the kitchen to my bedroom. Sure enough, the bathroom door is closed and the shower is running.

Fuck!

I reach for the handle. Locked. Dammit! Since when do guys lock the bathroom door? I bang on the door. “Decker!”

“Yeah,” he calls out. His voice muffled by the sounds of the shower.

“I told you to use Kate’s bathroom,” I say. Yeah, I realize how lame I sound.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you’d mind. I just jumped in after I used the bathroom.” Damn him for having such a reasonable explanation. Of course he’d have a reasonable explanation, though. It’s just a shower. Just a shower in a bathroom that happens to hold many of my secrets.

“Why’d you lock the door?”

“Habit, I guess. Sharing a dorm with guys, if you weren’t careful they’d just barge in. Some of them have no boundaries at all.”

“Present company included,” I mumble quiet enough that he can’t hear.

“What’s the big deal? We used to take baths together for crying out loud.”

“We were six! And in bathing suits!” Unbelievable.