Blissful Surrender (5 page)

My eyes widen in surprise. I’ve never been asked that before so I’ve never had to consider it. But Ryan was my friend, Sean’s brother, and right now, I’m guessing he needs a friend. I shake my head. “As your friend, Ryan. Please tell me what’s going on so I can help you.”

He gives me the slightest of nods before taking a slow, measured breath. “Sean basically just washed his hands of me, just before you arrived.”

I gasp. No, that can’t be right. The two of them are the only family they have left. “No …”

He lets out a laugh then gasps in pain. “Shit, that hurts. Yep, my brother has finally had enough of my shit. He’s sick of being the father, the brother and the fixer-upper.” He looks back out the window and I know I’m losing him again.

“Ryan, Sean loves you. You guys used to be so close and you’re working at the club. He wouldn’t just walk away.”

He jerks his head back to me. “Did you not see him walk away a few minutes ago? God! He was yelling so loud that the nurse had to call security. Your precious Sean has decided he’s done and what he says goes, so he’s leaving me to deal with my own shit and I don’t blame him. I’m in a lot of debt, and I think that’s what today at the club was all about. Robbery gone bad is what it looks like but that guy was there to rough me up and send a message. Well, message fucking received.”

He takes a breath again, then sighs loudly. “Maybe you should go, Sammy. You seem to like leaving when the going gets tough. Oh wait, nope. You just leave when someone dies and we need you.”

I swallow to try and rid myself of the large lump that’s made itself home in my throat. Fuck! No wonder Sean looked at me with a wariness that I’d never seen him with before. Although there is probably a lot of anger there too. It was a long time ago, but my departure from their lives was sudden and a shock. I had to cut all ties for my own heart. But that’s another story for another time.

“Ry, I didn’t mean for it to happen like that. I’m sorry. One day I might tell you about it, but in all honesty, that’s between Sean and me.”

His eyes follow me as I get off the bed and stand up. “Sorry, it’s none of my business. Please …”

I’m suddenly taken back to Ryan as the impressionable seventeen year old boy I met all those years ago.

“I’ve got to get going, Ry.” I reach into my pocket and pull out a business card with my numbers on it. “But here’s my card. If you need me, you call. Maybe I can help with Sean. I don’t know whether he’d be receptive to talking with me, but if you want me to I’ll try.”

Seeing Sean again must have fried my damn brain. I’m volunteering to act as a go between for the Miller brothers. Wonders will never cease.

Or maybe, subconsciously, I just want to see Sean again.

Vodka. I need Vodka, stat!

Sam

“More Vodddkaaaa,” I mumble into my glass as I down my fifth drink. How did I get here?

As I was leaving the hospital, I sent Helen a text telling her I needed a drink—or ten!—and that I was on my way. See, that’s what is so great about having a best friend who is exactly like you. A simple text of ‘I need Vodka stat. Just saw Sean’ tells her everything she needs to know and why.

On my way to her place, I couldn’t get Sean and our not entirely unexpected but still surprising conversation out of my head.

Sean was always able to elicit a reaction from me. Whether it was riling me up, shocking me, or more often than not, turning me on with a single heated look. I could never read him though. He was always unexpected, but positively so. Despite his tragic family loss at such a young age, he was strong and in control. He had dreams and aspirations, he saw what he wanted and went after it without hesitation.

And the day we met, what he wanted and went after was me.

It was our junior year in college. We were two pre-law students sitting on opposite sides of the auditorium and squaring off during a political science class. The impromptu debate over the effectiveness of the modern Republican idealism was thrilling, infuriating and heated. Sean’s cocky smirk and laid back demeanor was evident as he traded barbs and opinions back and forth with me. In the end, the professor had to get us to agree to disagree, but even from across the room, our chemistry was undeniable.

When the end of class came, I was still riled up, the adrenaline from the exchange coursing through me, so I was too distracted to notice him come up next to me. When I stood up with my bag and leaned forward, I caught the underside of his chin with my head on the way up.

“Fucking hell, woman, no need to hurt me.” I regained my balance and stood back, looking up into the most captivating blue eyes I had ever seen. Close up, Sean’s face was all male; angular with a strong jaw, and the most kissable lips I’d ever seen. I lost myself in his gaze, but I didn’t miss the curling of his lips.

He held out his hand for me to shake. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Sean Miller, the stubborn and argumentative man who had the pleasure of arguing with you today.” His grin got impossibly bigger as I stood there, equally taken aback and turned on by his candid approach.

Looking down at his hand, I shook my head to clear the hot guy fog that was threatening to take over, and put my hand in his, gripping firmly. My mother’s words of appearing strong and unwavering echoed through my mind. “Sam, Sam Richards. Pleased to meet another steadfast student.” I pulled my hand away when the heat radiating from his tall, foreboding body started to get to me. “Sorry, but I have to get to my next class.”

He took a step back to let me pass, but caught me by the elbow and stepped forward into my personal space, his mouth ending up mere inches from my face. “Dinner, drinks, movie, coffee … you name it I’m there, Sam.”

I righted myself and turned my head to face him, a shudder wracking my body as his breath fanned over my face. Yes, he was
that
close. “You’ll have to try harder than that. A good smile and confident swagger will not get this warm body in your bed. If you really want to know me, Sean, you’ll find a way to get my attention.”

Then I walked away.

It didn’t take long for him to get my attention. It took a little longer to get me into his bed, but that’s a whole other story. 

I was met at Helen’s apartment door twenty minutes later with a smile and a freshly poured dose of sedation disguised as a Vodka Tonic.

“What did he do?” she asks, shutting the door behind me.

“Nothing,” I reply two gulps later as I walk to the kitchen where I spot a nearly full bottle of Grey Goose waiting for me.

“I call bullshit,” she states matter-of-factly.

“Where’s Rico?” I start pouring my second glass with a very healthy ratio of liquor to mixer.

“Gone for a run. Stop changing the subject, Sam.” She puts her hands on her hips and looks at me expectantly.

I ignore her and down my second drink just as quickly as the first before I continue. “Thank god! That gives me time to get a few drinks under my belt before he dishes out his manly wisdom.”

She smirks. “Well, someone’s got to talk you down off the ledge. You keep up that pace and you’ll be legless in half an hour.”

“One can only hope,” I mumble.

“Hon, pour a fresh one and come sit down. At least slow down to a slow jog rather than a sprint.”

I sigh loudly. “Oh, all right then. God, when did I suddenly give a shit about him again?”

She picks her wine glass up off the kitchen counter. “Potty mouth Sam is in the house, so it must be bad. At least my night will be entertaining if nothing else.” I scowl at her back before following her into the living room with the vodka and tonic bottles, then plop myself down on her large, gray, suede sectional that is even more comfortable than it looks. I turn and rub my face against the back of the couch.

“I think I want to marry your sectional,” I say with a sigh.

“Holy shit, woman, how much vodka did you put in those drinks? You’re talking about making a commitment with an inanimate piece of furniture. This
must
be bad.”

“The worst. No … the best. No, wait. Oh, fuck. I dunno. He’s Sean fucking Miller. Love of my life, regret of the century. The superstar of my fantasies.” I look her straight in the eye and I’m immediately cut to the quick by the sincerity and concern I see reflected on her face. “I’m screwed aren’t I?”

“Oh, believe me, I can tell you’re going to be if that man is still as potent and panty-dropping good as he used to be. Sammy, you need to take control of the situation. I remember how much of a mess you were last time, but you’ve grown now. You have your own mind and you know what and who you are now. Why is this affecting you so much?” she looks at my glass, then back at my face.

Leaning forward, I pour drink number four into my glass on the coffee table, take a long sip and busy myself back into the future sofa of my dreams.

“He’s aged so damn well, Hels. Seriously, he was hot in college, smoking hot. The good boy with an edge. But now … now he looks wiser, more dignified. And by God, the way he looked at me? It was like he could see right through my armor and was studying my soul.”

“So what’s the problem then?”

“He’s strong, and irresistible and likes to dominate.”

“This isn’t anything new, hon and at one time, he
really
used to do it for ya.”

I try to boost my flailing confidence by taking another drink. “Okay, so you know the club you picked up his brother from today?”

“Uh, yeah, everyone under thirty-five in Chicago knows about Throb.”

“Did you know about upstairs?”

“The question is how do YOU know about upstairs?”

“Oh, c’mon, Hels. I’m a cop, word spreads. But it was Zander who told me actually. There are private rooms up there for ...” I lift my spare hand and do an air quote, “stuff.” With that, Helen bursts out laughing—a bent in half, ‘have to put the wine glass down and hug herself’ laugh.

Rico walks in, panting and out of breath and looking every inch the hot Brazilian man he is. He looks at me and smiles. “Hey, Sammy.” Then he sees Helen laughing her ass off and tilts his head sideways, still standing by the now closed front door. “
Minha vida
, what on earth is so funny?” he asks with a smile on his face as he takes a few large steps to the couch and leans over the back of it to lay a big fat one on Helen’s smiling lips.

I look over at them and sigh loudly and happily. “That’s a new one. What does that mean?”

Rico looks over at me then back to Helen, his eyes full of love and adoration for his wife to be. “It means my life.”

Oh my God. I want that! “Guys, you’re making me all jealous and swoony. Please resume normal programming and let me wallow with my bedmate for a while,” I say, holding up the bottle of vodka.

Rico circles the couch and sits between us, not caring that he’s covered in sweat. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me to his side. “What’s wrong, Sammy? Whose ass do I need to go kick?”

“Mine,” I mumble.

“Never gonna happen. Try again,” he adds with an encouraging squeeze.

“No, hang on.” Helen recovers from her laughing fit and turns to me. “Sam, I love you to death and always will, but you’re no prude. I know that and you know that. So why does … oh, hell. Why does the ‘stuff’ make you uneasy?”