Biting Serendipity: April Fools For Love (Biting Love Short Bites Book 4) (12 page)

We stopped. She could neuter a fly with that whip.

I grabbed Thor’s hand for courage.

“Names. For the trophy.” She stuck her whip handle into a holder on her belt and flipped out a notebook and pen.

Thor and I exchanged a glance. He said, “Nieman’s Bar.”

“Your names, for below. The plaque will say Winner: Nieman’s Bar, represented by X and Y. Names.
Now.
”

She didn’t quite lapse into
Ve haff vays of makink you talk,
but I’m sure that would’ve been next. Fortunately, Camille stepped into the breach.

“Thorvald Thorsson.” The vampire woman sashayed next to Heidi, arm dropping casually around her shoulders. “And Sera Braun.”

“No,” I said.

“What?” Both Thor and Camille’s heads came up, staring at me.

“Not Sera,” I said, more confident. Sera was my hiding name. My regular, non-hair-brained scheme name. My stodgy plodding planning name. But my wild name, my real name was—

“Call me Serendipity.”

As Bo organized cleanup of the rogue body part “props”, Camille led us back to Nieman’s Bar, trophy held high. Thor and I walked hand in hand. When we got back, she wouldn’t let the two of us work, going so far as to ask Buddy to pour us our own pitcher.

Thor helped me up on a tall stool and we sat, watching Camille put the trophy on a shelf over the long mirror.

He took my hands. “How did you get out of jail?”

“Jailbreak. Titus had the keys, but…” I blushed. “I could’ve done it with couple hairpins and my misspent youth.”

Naturally, just at that moment, Jenny set the pitcher and glasses before us. “Cool. Can you teach me to pick a lock, Sera?”

She’d heard.
Old tapes die hard. She’d heard and surely disaster and crushing guilt would follow. I panicked, nearly shouted, “
No.
”

“N-no?” Her voice was small, her eyes watering.

“Jenny, please.” Hand to breastbone, I waited for the hard thudding of my heart to ebb before I spoke again. “I know I make the bad girl stuff look easy, but first and foremost, before I do anything, I considered who might get hurt—and I never do something that will deliberately hurt other people.”

“Wh-what are you saying, Sera? You don’t want me to be like you?”

“Jenny, you’re a wonderful young woman, and I love you like a sister. I really do.” I exchanged a helpless glance with Thor. He nodded, giving me strength. I took her hands in mine and met her gaze, wondering how to explain, to make her see, coming up empty. In desperation I flung out, “Just…do as I say, not as I do, okay?”

“Oh. Oh, sure!” The sun came out again on her face, and she took the empty tray and bopped away.

“You’ll make a wonderful mother.” Thor’s voice was warm. “I guess it won’t be hard to learn to say I love you.”

I smiled into his eyes. “It’s Jenny. That was too easy. I can’t believe it was that easy.”

“Well, you may have to deal with her imitating you again.” With a return smile, Thor lifted the pitcher and poured two frothy glasses. “But I think it’ll be easier for you now, because you’ve recognized something crucial. Before, you were ashamed of your wild side. Now, I think, you’ve realized the important difference that makes you wild and creative, rather than lawless and destructive—the fact that you care about the welfare of others.”

“You make me sound almost goodie-goodie.”

“Oh, no.” He set down the glasses and took my face between his big, hot hands. “You’re the opposite. Wicked and wanton.” He released my face. “Or at least I hope you’ll be—with me.”

“Oh, yeah. I most certainly will. Because Dolly helped me realize something else. You, Mr. Thorsson, also have another’s welfare in mind. Mine. Even if I edge past wild and creative into lawless and destructive, you’ll be my mooring, my limiter. You’ll help me release that part of myself, safely.”

“Now you’re making me sound like an anchor.”

“Only in the best sense.” It was my turn to take his face in my hands. “The keeping safe sense. We don’t need each other—”

“I need you.” His heart was in his eyes.

“Not to be whole. We’re whole people on our own. But with each other, we’re even better. You help me to be a better person. And hopefully, I help you to be better, too.”

He nodded. “You helped me see something I never had. Who I am—not who I wanted to be, or who others wanted me to be, but who I truly
am
—is better than I realized. The part of me that I’d considered a liability is really an asset. My self-control is good.”

“Not to mention wicked sexy.”

“Sexy, hmm?” He arched one blond brow. “How sexy?”

“Well…what you said to that woman, Phillie. That what you and I do is making love. How sincere were you?”

“Completely.” His mouth still curved, but his gaze was hotly serious now.

“Then how would you like to try the wildest, scariest experiment of all?”

“What’s that?”

“Dating.”

“You and me? Dating, hmm.”

I gazed into his stormy blue eyes, hoping for a taste of forever with him. “I know we’re already mates, but I’d like to try for more.”

“More?”

“Yes. Let’s see if we April Fools can fall in love.”

Cast of Characters

Serendipity Braun—Despite her name, Sera believes there is no such thing as luck. Average height, light brown hair, loves to be wild and creative but doesn’t want to suck anyone into her schemes lest they get hurt.

Bruno Braun—Sera’s brother. A shaggy brown bear of a guy, runs MC survivalist store, Armageddon Three. A big guy dripping hair and conspiracy theories, ex-SEAL, has tattoos braided in with all the hair, and is the sweetest guy anyone would ever want to meet.

Brunhilde “Granny” Butt—moonlights as an exotic dancer at Nieman’s Bar, if stripping out of a girdle and orthopedic hose counts as exotic.

Camille Lebeau—master vampire. Green eyes, black hair, a cross between Elvira and Cleopatra in leather lederhosen hotpants.

Thorvald Thorsson—Six-three of Viking vampire power, his body wrapped in jeans, a sleeveless vest, and weapons, and his intelligence wrapped in quiet observation. Originally Bo Strongwell’s first lieutenant, now Camille’s.

Rebecca “of Sunnybrook Farm” —Looks like the kind of woman who wrestles bulls for fun. Wears bib overalls with no shirt and likes to chew on long stalks of grass. Was Julian Emerson’s second lieutenant, now Camille’s.

Buddy “The Bartender” Butler—a silver-haired gent, originally part of the Strongwell household. Now Camille's “donor”, wink-wink, nudge-nudge.

Bo Strongwell—master vampire, and master of the city. Six-four of handsome Viking warrior.

Elena O’Rourke Strongwell—Meiers Corners’s top detective. Five-nine of Irish-Latina determination, intelligence, and grit.

Julian Emerson—master vampire. Six plus of black-haired, blue-eyed, multisyllabic lawyer.

Nixie Schmeling Emerson—Five-zero of punk rock pizzazz.

Dolly Barton—Some say she has forgotten more secrets than Mata Hari ever learned.

Solomon Stark—master vampire. An undertaker straight out of a Tim Burton film.

Logan Steel—master vampire. Computer security expert. Was first lieutenant for the leader of the Iowa Alliance, now runs his own household with his mate, Liese.

Liese Schmetterling Steel—Computer geek.

Luke Steel—Logan’s younger identical twin. Graceful insouciance in Logan carries an overtone of pain in Luke, frankly making him more dangerous. Lieutenant for the leader of the Iowa Alliance.

Jenny Gelb—youngest child of Ms. “Sunday is Sauerbraten” Gelb. Yellow braids, perky attitude, and four years and a lifetime younger than Sera.

Gabriella—Sera’s roommate and coworker at MCTC. Tall, artsy, looking to move to New York first chance she gets.

Abigail—Sera’s roommate and coworker at MCTC. Historian. Limber with both her tablet computer and her body.

Officer Titus—Pronounced
Tit
-us, not Tightass. Really. Red-haired, freckle-covered round face. Son of police captain Ernest Titus.

Jocko—Bruno Braun’s friend and proprietor of Jocko’s Jokes, retail next door neighbor to Armageddon Three.

Mayor Meier—Meiers Corners mayor, a cross between Santa Claus and a schnauzer. Affects a heavy German accent as part of his charm.

Heidi—Mayor Meier’s secretary. Heidi looks exactly like the title character from the book with her blonde braids and blue eyes. Well, except for her spike-heeled hip boots. And her penchant for all things black leather. Oh yeah, and her heavy hand with the stud gun.

Phyllida “Phillie” Versnobt—professional popular girl.

Dirk Ruffles—originally a human beat cop on third shift, then partner to detective Elena Strongwell, Dirk is now a vampire lieutenant outside of Meiers Corners.

Cutter—new third lieutenant of the Chicago Coterie

Ruthven—old first lieutenant of the Chicago Coterie. Overdramatic asshole, cackle like an evil chicken.

Norwegian profanity

Faen—devil

Helvete—hell

Drit—shit

Jævel, Jævelig—devil, of the devil (damned)

About the Author

As a girl, Mary Hughes spun romantic, happily-ever-after stories to get to sleep. A husband, family, two degrees, and a blackbelt later, she's delighted to spin them for readers.

She has lived with love and loss, in bright times and dark, and learned we can all use a break from reality now and then.

So join her for action, sparkling wit and red-hot love. Strong men. Stronger women.

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Look for these titles by Mary Hughes

Double Dare

From the moment Graham Barlow and Matt Spencer moved into the bungalow across from hers, Dani Tipton’s willpower has been strung to its limit. Ignoring the hot and heavy fantasies the two hunks inspire on a daily basis is more than any woman’s libido can take. Although temptation beckons, Dani’s determined to be a good role model for her wild, trouble-prone younger sister. Jumping in the sack with either of her sexier-than-sin neighbors sure as hell wouldn’t help her case. But when her sister sets up the ultimate April Fools’ prank, Dani suddenly winds up neck-deep in a compromising position. Literally.

For the last eighteen months, Graham and Matt have been carrying a major case of blue balls for Dani. No matter how hard they flirt or lay on the charm, she’s kept them strictly in the friend’s zone. So when they discover her buck naked in their swimming pool they figure they’re either hallucinating—or have been handed their one shot at rocking Dani’s panties off. Not too difficult to do, seeing how she’s not wearing any. Convincing her to indulge in a little frisky threesome skinny dipping? Easy enough. And the sexy interlude that follows is hot enough to boil the pool water. But when it comes to making their unconventional triad permanent, Matt and Graham issue Dani the biggest dare of all—entrusting them with her heart.

Warning: This M/F/M ménage brings new meaning to getting to know your neighbor. Lusty pool shenanigans and creative uses for hot tub jets. No bathing suit required, but bring an extra towel. Things are bound to get wet.

Enjoy the following excerpt for
Double Dare:

A motion across the street distracted Dani and she shifted her focus. Graham Barlow lifted from his crouch in front of a large stand-on lawnmower and swiped his grease-streaked forearm across his brow. The movement pulled his black tank top snug to his chest, molding the fabric to the mouthwatering contours of his ripped muscles. He tossed a look toward the shiny silver pickup truck that he and his roommate used for their landscape business. “Did you find that wrench yet?”

One of the truck’s doors slammed, and Matt Spencer popped into view. He strode to the disabled mower and passed the tool to his partner. A grunt fell from Graham. “What were you doing over there, jacking off? Took ya long enough.”

Oh Lord. Like she needed
that
image implanted in her brain. Especially since her hormones were already performing their own version of an exuberant Riverdance thanks to the yummy ogle fest Matt and Graham provided.

Damn it, she really hated that Erin was right. The two men
were
walking advertisements for lady boners. Unlike Graham, Matt had forgone a shirt, which put every inch of his strong, sculpted back on mouthwatering display. Her fingertips tingled as she imagined running them down the deep groove of his spine, cruising toward those cute dimples that rode just above—

A car horn tooted, and Dani jumped guiltily. Both men swiveled their heads and sent a wave to Erin as she reversed out of the driveway.

Erin poked her head out the car window, the sticky breeze rustling her neon blue pixy cut. “When are you gonna grow some balls and ask my sister out?”

Dani groaned, desperately wishing she could mimic a chameleon by blending with the nearby flowering lantana bush. Before she could safely duck inside the house without anyone being the wiser of her presence, her neighbors slashed their attention her way. She was fairly certain her cheeks were red enough Graham and Matt would be able to detect their nuclear glow from a mile away.

Matt’s chuckle floated in Dani’s direction. “Just as soon as we’re certain she’ll say yes.”

Her pulse revved at the wickedness of his expression and the resulting heat wave that swamped her body. There was no mistaking the blazing interest he and Graham had leveled on her. Since they’d moved in roughly a year and a half ago, they’d attempted to lure her to the Dark Side with a steady dance of flirtation, so she had a bad feeling those twin sparkles of determination in their eyes bode an outright war against her resistance.

Gulping, she tore her focus from Graham and Matt and slunk back inside the house. Snicking the door closed, she thunked her forehead against the whitewashed wood grain. Why must fate be such a devious bitch? Florida was full of retirees. Why couldn’t her neighbors be a pair of old coots who owned a closetful of lime green Bermuda shorts and compression socks?

Grumping under her breath, she detoured to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of iced tea from the fridge. She twisted off the cap the same instant the doorbell chimed. Heart knocking, she stared in the direction of the front entry. Safe to say that wasn’t the milkman.

“Thanks a lot, Erin.” Grumbling, Dani shuffled to the door. A quick peek through the peep hole confirmed her suspicions of who stood on the other side. Sending a memo to her hormones to get a grip, she sucked in a deep breath and swung open the door. She returned Matt and Graham’s megawatt grins with her own wobblier version. “Hey.”

His gaze sparkling, Graham propped one hand high up on the doorframe, the position hiking the hem of his tank top. “Hey yourself.”

An endless moment passed while she stared transfixed at the intriguing peppering of dark hair that formed a happy trail down Graham’s washboard abs and disappeared beneath the low-slung waistband of his navy blue cargo shorts. His pointed cough snapped her from her trance. The muggy heat contributing to the warmth already occupying her cheeks, she lifted her focus and met his amused regard.

The tiny upward hitch at the corner of his mouth did funny things to her tummy. “We couldn’t help but notice that your bush is in need of a little TLC.”

She double blinked. “Uh, what?”

He cocked his head toward the flowering lantana to the right of him. The wicked glint in his whiskey-hued irises verified that he was plenty aware of his double entendre. “Wouldn’t take us but a minute or so to shape it up.”

“That’s incredibly nice of you guys, but—”

“Consider it a trade,” Matt offered.

She frowned. “For what?”

“The empanadas that your sister promised you’d bring when you come over for dinner tonight.”

She stifled a groan. “Please tell me Erin didn’t invite us over.” It’d be right up her sister’s alley to do something both embarrassing and rude, all while not giving a hoot.

Graham shook his head and chuckled. “Just you.”

His clarification instantly deflated her sharp bloom of relief.
I’m going to kill Erin. Plain and simple.
“Look, I don’t want you guys getting the wrong idea about what she said earlier.”

“You mean asking you out?” Matt’s teeth flashed brilliant white against the sun-bronzed backdrop of his complexion. This up close, she easily detected every glistening bead of sweat dampening his sculpted pecs.

Do
not
allow yourself to be distracted by gorgeous man titty.
She nodded vigorously, both at her inner reprimand and Matt’s question. Best to nip this in the bed—
bud! Get your mind out of the gutter.
—before she gave in to the urge to offer herself up as a human towel. “Erin likes to instigate things.”

“Yeah, but I happen to think she’s got the right idea. So does Graham.” Without warning, Matt’s fingers closed around hers. She jolted at the unexpected skin-on-skin contact, but it was the lazy stroke of his thumb along hers that spurred her wispy intake of breath.

His smoky blue gaze locked with hers, he pried her bottle of tea from her frozen grip. He lifted the beverage to his mouth and took a swig. She was too entranced by the sweep of his tongue catching a droplet of the tea on his bottom lip to be miffed at him brazenly availing himself of her drink without asking permission.

He passed the bottle back to her. “Dinner’s at eight. Don’t forget the empanadas.”

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