Always (3 page)

And then one summer morning, a redheaded, long and lithe American popped her head into the pub and said she was theirs for the next several months on a work visa through her college program. She’d had a quick wit, was handy behind the bar, the customers had adored her and he had too.

It hadn’t taken long for their attraction to lead them to bed. But it had stayed very casual for both of them and their parting had been as friends. No weeping, no second thoughts. He missed her because they’d been friends as well as lovers but he’d not pined for her.

But lying there, her body tucked into his side, he felt something
more
than he had those years ago and he didn’t know why. What he did know was that he couldn’t afford to feel
more
. He had a business to build up and he wasn’t going to lose sight of his goals. He’d walked away from what he’d known, from the pub and from Dublin. He was in Los Angeles to build something entirely new and as selfish as it might seem, he didn’t want his focus stolen by anything, even the lovely Caitlin.

Still, he was only in town for a week. He lived twelve hundred miles south and she would be finishing law school. He wasn’t looking for a wife but it appeared she wasn’t looking to be one. It worked out for both of them at least for the week he’d be in the area. There was no reason he couldn’t simply lie back and enjoy this reunion for what it was and stop worrying about anything else.

Eamon.

It was then she realized what had roused her from slumber after a night where he’d woken her up twice more to make love.

She nudged him gently. “Eamon, wake up.”

“We’re out of condoms, darlin’. I can run out and grab us some if you let me sleep just a wee bit longer,” he mumbled, making her laugh.

“I’m not sure my muscles are up to another romp with you just now. Your pants are ringing.”

He opened his eyes and groaned. “Shite.” Rolling out of bed, he scrambled to his pants and fished out his phone, answering it quickly.

Not wanting to intrude on his call, she eased out of the warmth of the blankets and headed to the kitchen. Once she’d turned on the coffeepot, she headed to the bathroom and turned the hot water on for a desperately needed shower.

It wasn’t but about ten minutes later before he tapped on the door and stuck his head in as she was drying off.

“You have no idea how much seeing you that way makes this even harder.” He groaned. “I have to go. The PR guy from the record label needs to reschedule one of the bands to today. I need to get back to my hotel and change and grab some supplies before heading over to Bellevue where they’re all waiting.”

She frowned, disappointed. Still, she understood the demands of a career. “Oh, okay. I understand, believe me. Work comes first. It was lovely to see you.” She grabbed her robe. “Let me give you my cell phone number. Give me a call if you have the time while you’re still in town.”

Rustling through her utility drawer in the kitchen, she found some paper and a pen and wrote the number down along with her home number and handed them to him. “You want some coffee to take with you? I’ve got a million travel mugs you can take.”

He looked damned good as he cocked his head and gave her a sexy smile. “That would be fantastic. Thank you. Aren’t you going home for the holidays then?”

She avoided his eyes as she grabbed a mug and poured the hot coffee into it. Hell no, she wasn’t going back to Boston to be harassed about her choices by her family. “Sugar and milk there if you like.” She indicated their spot on the counter. “And no. I’ll be here. My mentor and her family will have me over for Christmas. Anh is a cross between a mom and a big sister. Her kids will run me ragged all day and I’ll eat too much. Her husband is a sous chef so there’ll be plenty on their table.”

“Well, good then. I’m sure your family will miss you though.” He looked at his watch before securing the lid on the mug and sighed. “I really have to get moving. I’ll call you soon. We didn’t do much talking last night. Not that I’m complaining. Still, I want to know what you’ve been up to.”

“Call me and I’ll tell you. I’ll even make you dinner if you like.” She cocked her head and smiled. How could he resist such an invitation?

“Sounds like a very fine offer.” He kissed her quickly before rushing out and she sighed, tossing herself onto her bed, loving the way the pillows still carried his scent.

After hanging out with a bunch of cranky, hung-over twenty-year-olds for a good part of his day, Eamon had had it with people. Fecking boys thought they were rock stars. They weren’t even men! They were boys with too much eyeliner, their hair in their eyes and more money and opportunities than they knew what to do with. All the talent in the world couldn’t make up for bad manners. His mother would have boxed their ears for all the ugly talking they did.

Agitated and feeling old, he headed back to his hotel, took a shower and then a nap, not waking up until nearly seven. He wondered if she should call Cat. He wouldn’t have hesitated before, wanting to grab as much time with her to have sex and visit as he could. But there was something different between them and it threw him off balance.

And it was already seven, she was probably out for the evening anyway. He had a free day the next day, perhaps she’d like to show him the sights. That would be a casual thing, wouldn’t it?

Frowning, he began to pace. He felt like a teenage boy all the sudden. With a growl of annoyance, he grabbed his phone and called her before he changed his mind.

She answered on the third ring. He heard noise in the background, apparently she was out already. “Cat?”

“Hey, Eamon, how was your shoot?”

He smiled at the sound of her voice. “Annoying. Made me feel a hundred years old. I wanted to tell them all to pull up their damned pants.”

“Well, did you tell them to stop playing ball in your yard? Because if so, you
are
a hundred years old.”

A glimmer of the Cat he’d been with four years ago surfaced and he laughed, relaxing. “Funny. Easy for you to say, you’re still young.”

“I am, aren’t I? You can live through me, Pops.”

“Oh you’ll pay for that!”

Her voice lowered, the tone intimate, sexy, and it shot straight to his cock. “Promise?”

“Indeed. Are you free tomorrow? I haven’t had much of a chance to see the city. You want to be my tour guide? I’ll even let you make me dinner afterward or we can eat out, your choice. Oh and I’ll bring the condoms. A lot more than three.” He’d need to grab a big box.

“My. With an offer like that, how can I refuse?”

They made arrangements for him to meet her at her apartment at ten and he rang off. Admittedly, he’d wanted her to ask him over that evening but he stifled any disappointment over it.

So he’d order in some food, catch a movie and get a good night’s sleep. Then he’d be ready for her in the morning.

“
That
was Eamon Blake.”

The table full of lawyers, interns and significant others continued to chatter loudly as Caitlin took a sip of her wine.

“Tell me. There’s clearly a very salacious story here.” Anh winked.

“Right after I graduated Harvard, I went to Ireland on a work abroad visa. You know, a summer of fun working in some shit job for no pay but you get your living expenses and learn the culture yadda yadda.

“Anyway, I was assigned to a pub in Dublin. Having Irish roots and all, I thought it would be fun to go. I walked through those double doors and this ridiculously sexy, very braw Irishman stood behind the bar. He sent me a very wicked grin and that pretty much started everything. Eamon was my boss and then my friend, and then my lover. It was a really fun summer. We had lots of sex. He drove me all over Ireland taking me on sightseeing trips. I learned more about my heritage from a near stranger than I ever had from my parents. But, I also learned how to pull a perfect pint from Eamon’s dad, heard a lot of great stories and live music and I came home. I haven’t seen him since then until I bumped into him last night at Club Twenty-One where I was with Amy to celebrate finals.”

“And I assume he’s still hot?” Anh waggled her brows.

“Like the sun.”

“Oh and the accent? Like Gerard Butler?”

Caitlin laughed. Anh had great taste. Her husband, Vittorio, was one of the most gorgeous men Caitlin had ever met in person.

“Yes he has an accent. It’s spectacularly hot. It gets nearly unintelligible when he’s um, worked up. But Gerry is Scottish so their accents aren’t quite the same. Still, I have to say, Eamon is just an all around fantasy on legs. He’s got this very wicked smile, big white teeth, just absolutely sexy.”

“Worked up? Was there any
working up
last night?”

Caitlin nodded enthusiastically. “He spent the night. Used all the condoms I had in my apartment even. Which given the dry spell I’ve been having for the last few years, I was surprised they didn’t have cobwebs! I had to use Epsom salts, we worked so hard.”

Anh did a golf clap as she grinned. “Whee! Good for you. So what’s he like now? I mean, is he here for business?”

“He’s a photographer here for work. He’s a lot like he was before, a bit more serious. His father died, I think that changed him and well, it should.”
If you had parents who cared.

“I imagine you’re more serious than you were four years ago too. After the mindfuck you went through with Adam, you’re bound to be more focused than you were at twenty-two.”

“Yeah. I appreciate good sex more than I did then. I didn’t know how good he was in bed. Or well, I knew but I didn’t have a lot to compare with back then. And I’d never experienced a long dry spell before.” Caitlin laughed.

“So he’s just a nice fling? A carnal present for finishing up finals?” Anh asked looking unconvinced.

“Sure.” Caitlin shrugged. “Don’t have time for anything else. He lives in LA and I’m building a life here. I gave up my life for a man once and it set me off track for years. Anyway, he’s not looking for a wife, and I’m not looking for a husband. It’s just a bit of fun with an old friend. It’s really perfect.”

“While I get that
and
I agree you need to finish school and not let your universe disappear into a man’s again.” Anh paused a moment as she sipped her drink. “I think it’s bull for women to say anything with a man they admire and like is
just a bit of fun
. You’re a woman who values people and their connection to you. You’re not the just a bit of fun type, Caitlin. There’s nothing casual about you at all.”

“I am now. I am because I have stuff to do. I can have a fling and still value him! Anyway, he lives twelve hundred miles away. So it’s not like I can do anything but have hot sex and some lovely memories.” She held her hand up to keep Anh silent. “No. Look, I
did
just have a nice bit of fun and it totally worked. He and I had three months of no-strings sex and we were friends. I left and you know, I haven’t wept for him for four years. I’ve remembered him here and there fondly. But I left that pub four years ago and came back to the States and I didn’t long for him. I can do this now because I did it before.”

It sounded a lot better than she felt saying it. It was true, she knew. But she was different. So much had happened to her, had changed her.

As usual, she was overthinking. Of course she could have a fun fling with Eamon. If he came back to town she could be open to seeing him again but just casually. It was perfect.

“Caitlin, right now you’re in school, yes. But what about after? Fun is fun, but you are a forever kind of woman. I’m just saying that you should be careful here. If you get attached to him, what then?”

“I’m attached to him as a friend. It was only one night! You’re printing out wedding invitations already. Sheesh. It’s a bit of fun and that’s all there is to it. Now I want dessert.” She closed the door firmly on the discussion and eyed the menu for something chocolate.

She’d taken him on a ferry to Bainbridge Island and back, they’d ridden to the top of the Space Needle and now they were having a drink before heading back to her place to have dinner. It had been a really lovely day. He’d made her laugh and she’d lost all her nervousness with him. It was like they’d fallen back to the place they’d been when she left Ireland four years before.

“I’m biased, I know, but I do love The Market. I come here a few times a week to get fresh produce, spend too much money and calories at Three Girls Bakery and have developed an addiction to the fresh pasta and cheese at DeLaurenti’s. Remind me to make you a mug of Market Spice tea before you go home. No, it’s nothing like Irish tea, but it’s really good.” She grinned, happy to share one of her favorite parts of Seattle with him.

He didn’t look convinced about the tea.

“Hmpf, a bunch of flowers in a cup of hot water does not make tea.”

She laughed. “I knew that look was about tea. It’s orange and cinnamon and all sorts of yum. You don’t put milk in it but it’s great when the weather is cold and wet. How you deal with LA after being in Dublin for your whole life is a mystery.”

“At first I liked it. What man can complain about barely clothed women in November, I ask you? But it’s December and it’s nearly thirty degrees!”

She paused a moment, thinking it had never been that cold in LA when she’d visited until she realized he meant Celsius. “Yeah, that’s pretty hot. Now that you know I’m up here, you can come for a visit when you need the cold and wet.”

He put his beer down and took her hand, kissing her knuckles. “And you can escape the cold and wet and be half dressed like the other women in LA when you come visit me. I don’t live in a mansion but my complex has a very nice pool and I’m near the shore.”

She grinned. “Thank you for the invitation.”

“I’m serious, Cat. My brother and sister-in-law don’t live too very far from me, but other than them, I don’t know too many other people and certainly none I like as much as you.” He winked.

“I may take you up on that in February when it’s been dark and raining or snowing for months.”

They had a few beers and watched shoppers below. Afterward, they picked up a lovely bottle of wine and headed back, hand in hand, to her place so she could think about dinner.

“I wasn’t sure about this place at first,” he said as he put the wine on her counter, “but the more I’m here, the more I like it. I suppose I just expected you to need more space.”

“Space is nice. But this place is mine. Belonging is underrated. Compared to that, space is overrated. I’ve lived a long time without things I’d earned. Either I owed someone for the things I had, or I lived with someone as just another possession. My grandmother gave me a wonderful gift when she passed and left me the money to buy this condo. She gave me independence and there’s simply no way to put how much I value that into words.” Her voice began to crack and the heat of unshed tears stung her eyes. Before she blubbered all over him and ruined the evening, she changed the subject. “Would you like to sit in the hot tub? There’s one on the roof. I just put the ziti in the oven, it’ll be a while.”

He paused, started to speak and then shook his head. “A hot tub in the misty rain? Sounds delightful.”

She stripped her clothes off and changed into her bathing suit. He watched, a smile on his face. “I don’t have trunks for you. But I have some old cut-off sweats. They might be a bit tight, but they’ll work.” She dug through a drawer and tossed them his way. It was her turn to watch him undress and change once she’d changed.

“I like yours better.” He looked her up and down. “I like that you’re not that ghastly shade of orange women seem to prefer instead of wearing their pretty, pale skin.” He drew his fingertips over her collarbone and down over the curves of her cleavage exposed by the suit.

His mouth found hers and she liked his taste enough to slide into his embrace and settle in. Eamon took his time, kissing her senseless with small nips and sucks of her lips and tongue.

Fuck the hot tub. She put her arms around his neck and pulled, tugging him toward her bed and he laughed. Instead of her bed, he spun, picking her up and putting her on the counter. She tossed her glasses to the side so they didn’t get broken or in the way.

“I thought we were going to take a soak in the misty rain?” he murmured, his lips skimming down her neck as those clever fingers peeled back the cups of her bikini top and exposed her breasts to his touch.

“We could. And then you kissed me and woke up all the need I have.” She braced her hands on the counter behind her ass so she could arch when he found a nipple with the edge of his teeth.

“We can’t ignore that,” he said as he pressed his fingertip over the front panel of her suit bottom, right over her clit. “You’ve been sorely neglected, Cat. So much need trapped within you. It’s okay to want. Okay to need. Don’t deny yourself this way. Let me give you what you want.”

All she could manage, as he dipped his fingers inside her suit bottom and then moved his body closer to hold her thighs wide with his body, was a breathy sound of assent. He woke things within her that scared her sometimes. When she stayed focused on things that needed to be done, she got through it. Worked toward her goals. But if she started wishing and wanting, what happened then? The idea of walking around with all this unmet need freaked her out. She had enough empty spaces inside herself.

No. She couldn’t think with his hands on her, with his attention on her, but it was all right. She could just feel.

Feel as his mouth, hot and wet, tugged and sucked on her nipples, first one and then the other, over and over as his fingers stroked through her, over her, driving her up until her orgasm shattered through her like shards of broken glass. Pleasure so sharp it nearly hurt flittered through her system.

“That’s better then,” he spoke softly as he pulled her into his arms and carried her to the bed.

The apartment began to fill with the spicy scent of the ziti and of sex.

“Don’t move. Condoms are in my bag by the door.”

As if she was going anywhere. Pffft. She did sit up a bit to catch his retreat toward his bag. What an ass the man had, even in tight, women’s cut-off sweats.

But when he returned, she pushed him on his back and took the box from him, setting it aside. “You’re ambitious. I like that.” She pulled his pants off and scrambled over him. “Fucking can wait. First, some nibbling and some sucking.”

“You think I’m going to complain?” He laughed as she kissed her way over his chest, the merriment turning into a groan as she flicked her tongue over his right nipple.

His skin was warm and hard and he smelled good. No cologne, just his skin and the light scent of his soap. He was familiar and yet exotic, a very sexy combination. The muscles on his abdomen bunched and released as she scooted down, nibbling over his belly button and down that sweet, sweet trail of hair leading to his very interested cock.

He groaned, deep and rumbly, when she grabbed it at the base and licked around the head. It had been a while but she found herself eager to make him feel good, to give him as much pleasure as he’d brought her. He was so sexy, so delicious she wanted to gorge herself of him.

He clutched the comforter as she set about doing that very thing.

Eamon watched her, ate her with his gaze as she rose and fell over him. Her hair tickled his bare thighs as the heated wet of her mouth engulfed him. Good sweet Christ, but she was gorgeous.

He wouldn’t last long this way. He’d wanted her all day long. Had wanted her as they’d strolled hand in hand through the chaos of the Market, had stood on the deck of the huge ferry across Puget Sound to the lovely little Bainbridge Island. He’d begun to do things to coax a smile, to hear her laughter. She’d pointed out the highlights through the rain clouds as they stood on top of the Space Needle, so confident, she’d been, even as they stood far higher than anyone should have. Her natural sensuality had surfaced the longer he’d been with her, unfurling as the day had passed. There was something inside him that prided itself on being the one who’d brought it out from hiding. Something inside that’d craved more. The tenderness she’d evoked when she’d spoken about independence and what this apartment had meant had scared him a bit. He’d wanted to take her in his arms and talk about her feelings for hours. But where would that take them? Friends did that, but when you added sex to friendship and then the depth of sharing like that it became more. And he didn’t need more. More was complicated and he wanted simple. So he’d let her steer the conversation toward a lighter topic and then had been quite happy to substitute sex for deep thoughts.

“Wait,” he said in a croak, “I want to be inside you.”

Her eyes flicked up to meet his and she shook her head, taking him in deep again, so deep he felt it all the way to his toes. He cursed as she sucked harder and bright lights spun in his vision.

Her hair was like silk against his hand as he reached out to slide it through his fingertips. Soft and cool in reds and golds, so pretty.

His body seized, muscles locking as he came, pleasure barreling through him and into her. When it was over and he could open his eyes again, she was smiling up at him, her head resting on his belly.

“I wanted to come inside you.”

She laughed, sitting up. “It’s early yet. Let’s have dinner and then you can fuck me. Your recovery can’t be that long.”

He moved, bringing her to lie atop his body. “Pffft there, miss. There’s nothing wrong with my recovery time. That was quite a lovely blow job, thank you. I wish I’d have had my camera nearby.”

She raised a ginger-colored brow in his direction.

“Just for my own enjoyment. I promise. I don’t even have internet access on this trip.”

“It’s not an experience I’d like to repeat,” she muttered as she reached beside the bed to grab a robe.

He frowned, both at the loss of her nakedness and the comment. “Someone put naked pictures of you on the internet?”

“Yes. There’s more than one reason I’m single.” She got up and he followed.

“What kind of arsehole would do that? Your ex-boyfriend did this?”

“He’s a big asshole, that’s who. That was the least of his many offenses.” She handed the bottle opener his way. “Open the wine please. I’m going to make a quick salad to go with the pasta.”

“Tell me about it.” He settled in on one of the high chairs at the kitchen counter and poured them both a glass of wine.

“Nothing to tell. He was a jerk. I finally walked away.”

“You didn’t use to be this stingy with details.”

She sighed, rolling her eyes at him. “When I got back from Ireland, my parents had a party for me. I was supposed to start Harvard law that fall if you remember. But I saw Adam there. He and I were together in college and had broken up about six months before I went to Ireland.” She kept her eyes down as she chopped and cleaned vegetables. “We got back together. Things moved really quickly, I got caught up in his energy, in his plans for a business he wanted to start. I ended up putting off law school for a semester to travel with him for his new business. And then two. He wanted to come to Seattle, establish himself here for all the IT contacts. Naturally, I came too. I figured I could go to law school at the UW.” She took a sip of her wine and then slid the salad bowl toward him.

She made a quick vinaigrette and then pulled the ziti from the oven. He didn’t push but he wanted to hear the rest of the story.

Caitlin hadn’t told the whole story to anyone but Anh and that had been hard enough. But it felt good to tell him, it felt good that he’d asked. She dished up food for the two of them and sat.

“I applied and got in but each quarter he’d tell me how much he needed me so I put it off another year. We lived together in this ridiculous house in Clyde Hill. Across the lake on the Eastside. His business took off and it did really well, still does actually. He went out a lot for work, which is normal and expected. I never had any reason to suspect anything was wrong until my picture—naked pictures and video—showed up online. His friend, the one you met last night in the club with my friend Amy, he knew about it for a month and didn’t say a thing. I flipped out, Adam laughed it off saying I should be flattered but I made him take it all down, destroyed the files on the computers.

“His behavior only got worse. I’d started to volunteer at a legal clinic and he got jealous, accused me of cheating when, as I was to find out, he’d been for about seven months. With his secretary if you can believe that cliché.”

Eamon groaned and curled his lip. “Boy needs a thrashing.”

She shrugged, agreeing. “Anyway, when I found out about the affair I left. I moved out and stayed with a friend for a few weeks. My grandmother had died and left me some money. Money enough that I bought this place. I started school and I didn’t want to look back. Anyway, that’s the story.” Not the whole story of course, but enough to spill before she was going to eat.

“He was a fool to not see the gift he had. I’m sorry.” He tucked into his food and didn’t drag it out, making her appreciate him even more. Men like him,
people
like him who didn’t have to fill all the empty spaces with words, were rare.