Abram's Daughters 04 The Prodigal (26 page)

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the long walk home. For now, she took her time, listening to the peeping of birds and insects in the dense woods, trying to calm her frayed nerves. She'd planned to arrive at the clinic a full hour before he resumed patient hours, well aware of Dr. Schwartz's daily schedule.

What will he say! she wondered. Will he brush me off again?She could only hope she was able to stand her ground this time . . . persevere until she was satisfied that what he revealed was the full story.

She was growing increasingly anxious to get the confrontation behind her. Doing such a thing went against her grain, yet the accumulation of unasked-for clues now made it impossible to avoid.

The road ahead wavered and blurred into watery colors as Leah finally allowed herself to let go angry tears. She felt strongly that if there was any truth at all to what she suspected, she had every right to lash out at Dr. Schwartz. Just how she might reveal her fury, she was undecided, because, fact was, the good doctor was probably not good at all, and she'd been schnookered, working for him and his wife all this time.

Sighing, she raised her head to the sky and tried her utmost to enjoy her morning walk the birdsong, the gentle rustle of trees, and the vastness of God's world. At this moment she felt as small as the tiniest insect. A feeling of helplessness nearly overtook her, and Leah stopped walking and turned around quickly, staring back at the long road from whence she'd come. Lord, are you with me in this?

Her tears ebbed a bit, and she realized then and there she had nothing to fear, nothing to be ashamed of. She would

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11ii 11 IRTsdf right around and walk forward ... for Sadie's sake. I In longer did it matter what Dr. Schwartz thought of her. Musi important was discovering if Sadie's child was alive or

lull

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- -,<*...

As

J~\s Leah made the turn left off Georgetown Road toward Dr. Schwartz's clinic, the wind gusted, and she found herself thinking of the Scripture in Philippians chapter four, which she had read just this morning: I can do all things through Christwhich strengtheneth me.

She began to whisper the Scripture, surrounded now by a marked sense of confidence. She felt undeniably convinced she was doing the right thing. I am my father's daughter. ... I can do this, she assured herself, aware of her rising optimism. With God's help.

Dr. Schwartz was in his office, poring over a pile of papers, just as she assumed he might be, and when she knocked on the doorjamb of the open door, he looked up immediately. His eyebrows shot up. "Well, good morning, Leah. Aren't you here early?"

"I came to talk something over with you, Dr. Schwartz, if ya don't mind." Somehow she managed to get the whole sentence out without breathing.

The pause between her statement and the time involved253e J r o d i q a /

War her to inhale deeply was long enough for the doctor to ntirmiir, "Ah." The way he frowned and rapidly blinked his yes mude her feel somewhat hesitant, but she did not lose

It'll ri.

I Site began by asking right out the most urgent question of II. "What happened to Sadie's baby after you left with him lu* night he was born?"

I The doctor's frown deepened and he rose quickly to close

he door. When he turned to face her, he wore an odd look.

Bit' silt back down at his desk and gazed intently at the ceiling,

ptH'iningly aware of something she could not see. "Leah," he

mild, lowering his eyes to her, "you saw the baby. He was as

Muc us can be."

"Jah, ever so blue. But is it possible he turned pink some-

1 iiiit- between his birth and now?" She breathed again. "What I mean is ... could it be Sadie's son actually lived that nielli . that he lives even now?"

I Calmly, his hands folded on the desk before him, Dr.

Bchwartz replied, though nearly in a whisper at first. "I'm

mm id these may be the most startling words you've ever

fct'iird. Absolute^ no one else knows this about my own dear

pnindson your sister's son until now. . . ." He paused, look-

Blig down at his desk. Then, biting his lip, he began again.

(rSudie's premature baby did live that night. Quite a miracle,

even though I've heard of similar things happening. The

nltfht air apparently revived him ... as phenomenal as any-

thing I've witnessed." He studied her attentively.

Leah breathed hard at the matter-of-fact way in which he

hud revealed the life-changing news. "You kept Sadie's baby,

then.'" . : ;; ... ;.. ,'..; -.;. /-.;,

"1 weighed the consequences, Leah. My son's future . . .

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the fact that, at the time, Sadie had kept her pregnancy a secret from her family. . . except for you and your aunt. My reasoning was sadly skewed, you must know. I wanted what was best for my family, our good name . . . the baby's future. I was terribly selfish."

"You should have returned him to Sadie to us. You never came back and told my grieving sister her baby was alive." Leah was nearly overwhelmed at the reality. "What happened to him? Where did you take my sister's son?"

"A good family gave him a home . . . once he was strong enough to leave this clinic."

"So you looked after him? You tended to Sadie's baby until he could be placed in the loving arms of... a new family?"

He nodded, eyes glistening. "I was torn between right and wrong . . . didn't consider the ultimate consequences. I didn't know the torment my poor decision would eventually produce in myself. In others. . ."

The doctor wept, not with sobs but with great sighs and tears coursing down his face. "I would go back to that night in a minute, if I could, and I would do everything differently. Believe me, Leah ... I would change everything."

She sat shaking in the chair across from his desk, trying hard to remain seated, fearing she might simply storm over to Dr. Schwartz and shout at him in Amish.

Holding on to the chair, she attempted to speak her mind without losing her temper. "How could you do such a thing? You stole my sister's baby from her." Suddenly she sprang to her feet. "If Sadie knew this, it would rip her heart in two!"

"My life was altered forever that night," he whispered, seemingly struggling to get the words out.

"Your life?" ' , : ;' ; ; - -: ; '

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I I Ic remained silent for an awkward span of time. At last

I :.|iiike again, "I have offered my continual remorse to

in I." He brushed sorrowful tears from his face, wiping his

lln hard with his folded white handkerchief. "I deserve no

ivy, Do as you must with what I have told you." He turned

6iy from her.

I You know what I'll do, she thought angrily. The People don't

mn charges. It isn't our way.

I Inhaling, she demanded again, "Where'd you put Sadie's

lii Where is he?"

I "I'annie and Peter Mast's youngest son is Sadie's boy. They

raising him as Mandie's twin brother."

I Jake Mast . . . the mirror image of Deny Schwartz. Her sus'

Ions had been well founded.

I Sighing with a tremendous sense of sadness, Leah stood

Ixi ro the beautiful desk, leaning her hands flat on its highly

Wished surface to support her weight, lest her trembling

lisc her to fall. "Does Fannie know who her young Jake

Illy is?"

I 1 V. Schwartz picked up a pen and stared at it, then absent'

IndecjHy pressed it against a piece of paper. "Neither Peter

Ir Fannie has any reason to suspect Jake is not their flesh

1.1 Mood. You see, Fannie did birth twins the first was born

111 before midnight, after I returned from delivering Sadie's

tpy the same night. And up until the moment when Fannie's

llborn second baby came, I had no idea what I would do

Ih Sadie and Derry's frail little one. He was barely alive."

1 hesitated for a moment, apparently pained at the memory.

pu must believe me, Leah. I felt then as if God almighty

Inl made it possible inexplicably so for Fannie to nurture

fill mother Jake, for my grandson to be raised in an Amish

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family, his rightful heritage. And at the same time I knew sending him home with the Masts would protect my family from shame."

He went on to say that switching Fannie's dead baby son with Sadie's own premature one had seemed sensible, if not the right thing to do at the time, and the Masts had never been the wiser. "In doing this, I've been fortunate enough to watch my grandson grow up ... a luxury I've denied your sister."

"You took it upon yourself to do that which is only for the Lord God to do!" Leah's rage was fanned by his explanation, and she was helpless to quench it.

The doctor stared blankly at his desk, tear stains evident on his face.

She had to stop to collect herself so many thoughts assailed her. . . nearly too many to consider. "If I'm understandin' what ya just said, Fannie Mast has given Jake all the love my sister gladly would've offered him. . . ."

Dr. Schwartz forlornly nodded.

She clenched her fists and turned to stare at the wall. "So you must've buried Fannie's dead baby in the grave on your property, then." She swung around to face him again. "Is that what ya did?"

Again he nodded. "The least I could do for the Masts' fullterm baby was give him a proper burial."

"And I'll bet you thought it would soothe your conscience."

He rubbed his face and kept his hands over his eyes for the longest time before looking at her again. "I could be arrested . . . sent to jail for this crime, if word gets out."

"Jah, for certain." .

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''Do us you see fit," he said flatly, as though resigned to his |i" ' I at c.

| The iVople are forgiving and generous ... nearly to a ji ...li." Slu- struggled to continue. "Even if Peter and Fannie ) .me to know this horrible thing, they would not condemn |i . I'm quite sure of it." Part of her wanted to see him H|iilrm, Inir it was evident that the guilt-ridden years had liiHuly laken their toll, transforming him into the dejected Hiiiu Ik* now was.

Wllh ;i great sigh, she said, "It might be best if I not conid mm- work in' for you and Lorraine." Then, before he could Mrr, she excused herself from her expected hours of labor ^Hdiiy. Leah hurried out of his office, not looking back at ^HeIIihc established by the man the community had wrongly ^Ht'il ... a man who had deceived them all. Sixteen pre^Hh ye;iis had been lost to Sadie to all of them forever. ^Hnoi with anger, Leah headed down the road, plagued by MFVriTilile truth that Mamma's cousins had unknowingly l(4i i J Sadie's child Dat's only grandson. I I, icfi/> Mast.

I I low bitterly ironic it was that Peter and Fannie's youngpi inn belonged to the cousins they'd chosen to shun.

I As if the news of Jake Mast's being Sadie's only living Hi tit I wasn't enough, Leah began to feel under the weather.

1h was painfully aware that she must hold close the disheartIliiiit] Information, lest she weaken and pour out her shock, miliit'HM, and exasperation to either Dat or Aunt Lizzie. It's

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Sadie who deserves to hear it first. When I can muster the strength. . . .

Sleep refused to come that night, and Leah stared at the dark windows, wishing the moon were out in full to spread its white light into the room the same bedroom where she had ofttimes wondered where Sadie had taken herself off to back when her sister was in the midst of rumschpringe. As it was, Leah felt the murky room was dreadfully silent with Sadie sleeping next door in the Dawdi Haus.

Sadie surely slept soundly still, having dreams of the little ones she'd lost. . . longing in the very depths of her soul for the babies she'd birthed but never held long enough to truly love or know.

A breeze blew in the open windows, gentle yet strong enough for the shades to flap slightly. When should I tell her! Leah wondered, knowing it would be heartless to keep the information from her any longer. Yet she struggled with the idea of coming right out and saying Jake was Sadie's son, especially since the Masts had kept all of them at arm's length and worse. Considering the commotion this could cause between the two estranged families, she shied from revealing such news to anyone. Still, the thought of being privy to what Sadie did not know caused Leah a wakeful and troublesome night.

By the noon meal of the next day, Leah was in such turmoil she could scarcely keep her attention on serving the large pot roast to the family, let alone interact normally wirl \ either Lydiann or Abe as they sat chattering at the table, eager to enjoy the dinner she and Sadie had prepared

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||i i(jri I id. All Leah could think of was how she had been kept If)i>m \\w truth about her own birth mother until adulthood, hIh'H'I'v Living missed out on the extra-special closeness she Uil^lil li;iv(.' experienced with Lizzie had she known differently Hkii link- girl. Though her Mamma had always loved her, they ttnd in 'I shared the strong bond Sadie and Mamma had always Hlml, NtTiningly so closely linked, and understandably so, Sadie nHiiK Mamma's firstborn and all. Indeed, had Leah known bin ml Lizzie, she might have had that with her. I AI last Leah concluded she could not, would not, keep )M I', ilie near-sacred news about Jake from Sadie, who had prt'ii dreadfully wounded so many times over. It was time for Rrr JtlNter to hear the facts of the matter as both Dr. Schwartz tid she knew it.

I I c;ih contemplated the afternoon ahead, thinking she hiIhIh invite Sadie to take a walk someplace where they could me |H-ik'ctly alone, once their gardening work was complete. jPt'ihups the woods? But no. How much better it would be to pttVf 11 ie sun shining on them as they walked and talked. P(/llli i lie strong emotions that were sure to surface, she defiliii'ly waited to be where they could see the openness of sky In hi lu-lds.

1 As she placed the heavy platter of roast and vegetables |ii-Knr her family, Leah settled in her mind on the best place Iim I icimost solemn talk with dearest Sadie.