A Summer To Remember: Novella (Lost Love Book 1) (12 page)

Xavier has become the light at the end of my tunnel. The reason to let Josh go and move on with my future, hopefully with Xavier being a permanent fixture. When we've finished eating, Xavier insists on paying the bill before we exit the bistro and head home.  

“Nikki,” I call through the silent house, receiving no reply, I guess we’re alone once more. Xavier strolls past me, his hands loaded with the unbuilt crib and heads towards my new room. Xavier seems to be a dabbed hand at flat packs. It takes him no longer than forty minutes to have the crib built and placed in the corner of the room. “You okay Isabelle, don’t you like the crib?” Xavier questions with a concerned expression. 

“Yeah, I’m good. Just a bit disappointed I never picked up any bedding.” Just as the words left my mouth, the door bangs open. Nikki strolls into the bedroom, smirking and holding out a bag. Curiosity gets the best of me, I take the bag from her proffered hand and have a sneak peak. My mouth pulls into a smile, “how did you know?” The bedding I’d been lusting over only twenty-four hours previous is sat within the bag. “You left the baby catalog open on the table plus I know what you like.”

  “Thank you, thank you. thank you,” Nikki wink's, “it’s not me you need to thank.” Confused, I stare at her expectantly waiting for her to elaborate. Of course, she doesn’t instead gives a subtle nod. I turn and fix my gaze on Xavier who's currently lounging on the bed. Realization dawns on me. 

“Stop looking at me, like you're ready to devour me.” Xavier chides. My brain is telling me to pounce on him, but my heart has reservations. Unsure whether to hand the final piece over to him. Xavier sits forward, shuffling until he’s sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out he pulls me onto his lap. My knees are either side of his thighs. “Okay, that’s my cue to leave.” Nikki states as the door shuts behind her. “Stop thinking so hard.” Xavier whispers against the contours of my lips.

Xavier doesn’t advance in his movement instead waits for permission. with a small smile, I deepen the kiss. His tongue runs along the outline of my lips trying to gain access, which I immediately grant. My hips have a mind of their own, grinding against his hardness. Causing my heart rate to speed up, and my breathing to quicken. Xavier groans underneath me, he adjusts me into a more comfortable position. His mouth never leaving mine. Xavier’s hand slips beneath my top, his fingers trace circles just below my bra. My eyes close, enjoying the sensation, he cups my breast over my bra. I’m practically writhing on top of him, needing him to give me more. I throw my head back, hoping it will clue him I want more. I want to go the next step.

Amazingly he takes the hint. His hand slips into my jeans and moves down until his fingers are inside my panties. A frustrated groan escapes, he inches away from where I need to be touched. “So impatient,” he teases, moments later I’m moaning in pleasure. “You look fucking beautiful when you're all flustered.” His lips meet mine once again, I try and deepen the kiss while moving my hand to his throbbing cock. But before my hand actually touches him, he grabs it and pushes it away, “tonight was about you.” I sigh in disappointment, “in time baby,” he whispers. But that’s the thing times running out.

Isabelle

Well, the day has finally arrived, in less than four hours Xavier will be boarding the plane back to America. I've been tossing and turning for hours, scared of what the future holds, will I ever see Xavier again? Or will my heart suffer once more? “Relax babe, what will be, will be?” Xavier huskily whispers. If it was that easy, I would be sleeping but, unfortunately, it isn’t. Over the past six weeks, I’ve fallen head over heals for Xavier. Yet, without taking notice of the implications. He has promised over and over everything will be alright but only If I could share the same optimism. “Everything is going to be fine, please get some sleep.” Xavier whispered before closing his eyes. I stare at the ceiling, trying to push my worries aside. I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow like the day isn’t going to hard enough already. It feels like I’ve been staring at the same spot for hours before my eyes start to feel heavy. Not long after I drift to sleep.

“Wake up sleepy head.” Xavier nudges me, "I want to spend some time with you before I leave." I rub my eyes before slowly opening them, “what time is it?” I ask in a grim tone. “Nine o’clock.” Xavier replies. That leaves two hours until I watch the love of my life, disappears. Deep down we both know long distance relationships never work. I can already envision what’s likely to happen. Xavier will meet somebody else, and I will dwindle from his mind. With a sigh, I stumble out of bed. I've been sat in the bathroom for the last fifteen minutes, trying to get myself together. Which is proving to be a difficult task but I made a promise to myself not to let my emotions show.  Grabbing holding off the sink, I pull myself into a standing position. With a steady breath, I open the door and make my way across the hall.

  Hoping Xavier’s sat on the bed but to my disappointment, he’s nowhere to be seen. I head back across the hallway hoping to find him in his room, which he is. I find him packing the last of his belongings. I promised myself I wouldn’t get upset, I don’t want to come across as clingy but God, I don’t want him to leave. “Don't get upset Isabelle, we’ll skype every day and I’ll be back in a few months.” I can’t keep it hidden any longer, I need to give him the final piece of my heart.  I take a deep breath before letting the words tumble from my mouth, “I love you.” Xavier's mouth drops open in surprise, but his expression quickly changes. His lips pull up into a smirk, “I love you too.” My heart skips a beat. I can’t say I didn't have an inkling because I did but hearing the words said out loud solidifies things.  Xavier's hand smoothes over my bump, as though he saying goodbye to my unborn child.  “The baby kicked, she kicked,” Xavier streak. His eyes shine with happiness, even though a tear slides down his cheek. “I know,” I smile. Beyond happy with his reaction. For the last few weeks, Xavier has slipped into a fatherly role. He's always singing his childhood song against my bump. Whatever I’ve needed Xavier’s been at my beck and call. I didn’t believe for one second I was going to survive Josh’s death. I was in my own personal hell, but Xavier's been amazing. He’s helped me to realize moving on, doesn’t mean I’m disrespecting Josh’s memory. He's helped me to believe it’s okay to love after death. He taught me to how to laugh again and how to let go of the grief. With one last kiss, Xavier exits the room.

I enter the kitchen only to find Nikki in tears sat on Caleb's lap. Kyle and James are making a batch of pancakes, the room is too quiet. Xavier isn't anywhere to be seen. Laying my head on the table willing the tears to subside. I will not lose it, I make a promise to myself not to show any emotion until Xavier's on the plane. However, I don't think it's going to be a realistic promise to keep. Why has he got to leave? How stupid have I been, I knew he was only here for a short amount of time, but I still fell in love. I'm pulled out of my thoughts when a pair of hands slides around my waist. I lean into Xavier's chest and inhale his perfect manly scent. The room is silent, everyone lost in their own thoughts. Kyle places a stack of pancakes in front of me, indicating for me to tuck in but I'm not sure I can stomach anything. Half an hour later everyone is ready to head to the airport. Nikki is taking her car, Caleb is accompanying her. While everyone else, myself included climbs into Kyle's rust bucket. James and Kyle are quietly chatting in the front of the car while Xavier and I are silent in the back. Xavier hasn't said two words since the baby kicked earlier. Xavier pulls me closer to his side and proceeds to bury his head in my hair. "I'm going to miss you," his voice cracks with emotion. "I'm going to miss you too," I cry. Shit, I said there wasn't going to be any tears. "I promise, we will see each other again. Let me save up some dollar and I will get a flight back out. You're my girl Isabelle." The niggling feeling it will all change when he gets back on home turf leaves me unable to answer. "Just remember, I love you," he sighs.

"I love you too," I whisper.

When you're excited about something, why does time drag? But when you wish time would slow down it whizzes by, leaving you disappointed. We're pulling up to the airport yet it only seems like we've just climbed into the car. Kyle pulls into a space and exits the car alongside James, I take a deep breath, trying to delay the inevitable. If I stay curled into his side, he won't leave. Right?!

Xavier cups my face between his large hands and place the gentlest of kisses upon my lips. Before the kiss turns to anything more, he releases me and exits the car. Holding his hand out for me to take. Tears roll down my face has I take his proffered hand. Xavier pulls me into his side and wraps his arm over my shoulders, leading me to the entrance of the airport. I'm not ready for this, why can't he stay?

  My eyes scan the terminal for Nikki, I find her in Caleb's arms sobbing. Caleb doesn't look like he's going to hold it together for much longer either.  Xavier leads us over to check in. My heart breaks into a million pieces, knowing this could be the last time we see each. If I can just hold onto him, God, he can't leave. The call for the flight to  America blares across the tannoy. James thanks Kyle for a great summer, then proceeds in my direction. He pulls me into his arms “take care of yourself, Izzy. And keep in contact.” He kisses me on the cheek, leaving me stunned.

“You'll be sick of my messages,” I tease.

“Never,” he states before heading towards the escalator. Caleb yells goodbye while he steps back from Nikki and proceeds to follow James. Kyle and Nikki excuse themselves while I turn to face Xavier. “Isabelle, please promise you'll look after yourself. Don't let the darkness consume you again.” How can I promise not to let the darkness consume me? “I'll try,” I whisper.

Xavier sighs, “Okay, I'll take that.”

Xavier is holding me close like he's scared to let me go. Unfortunately, the inevitable happens when the last call comes over the tannoy.  My stomach flips, knowing we've run out of time. “Never forget I love you, you're my girl. I'll speak to you soon Isabelle,” and he's gone. I'm left, watching his back as he enters the boarding lounge. I try to stop the tears from falling, it's impossible. I've just lost the second person I've ever loved.

I collapse into Nikki's arms, both of us sobbing. The urge to run after him is too much, instead, Nikki and Kyle lead me out of the airport and away from the love of my life. 

Xavier

The thought of leaving Isabelle is killing me but it’s for the best, she wouldn’t survive in my world. Fuck, it’s been one trying summer. I can't count the-amount-of times I’ve wanted to slam her body against the wall and sink my cock into her. It's fucking frustrating. I knew she would’ve never been able to handle me. Plus it didn't feel right when she is pregnant with another man's baby.  I’m willing to give up my family, my life in America for her but right at this moment, it isn’t possible. I need to avenge my best mate’s death. Maybe once I’ve killed the fucker who took down my best mate, I can come back if she’s willing. But in the respect I wouldn’t want to taint her or the baby’s life. I would rather take a step back than bring Isabelle into this fucked up trouble. It was the hardest decision in my life, walking away from her sobbing form but I need to protect them. I stayed on the balcony until she was out of sight, watching my girl disappear from my life. Shit, how whipped do I sound? 

Earlier this morning, the baby kicked for the first time. It was an amazing experience yet at the same time it was bittersweet, I loved the fact I felt her first kick. But on the downside, it felt like the baby was saying goodbye. Like she knew the truth. I managed to get Kyle alone a few days prior to leaving and explained the situation I was in. To say he was pissed is an understatement. The boy went bat shit crazy. I know I fucked up letting my emotions get involved but it was impossible not to. Isabelle kind of wormed her way around my heart, without even trying. Anyway, I gave Kyle a letter to give to Isabelle once I was out of the country.

I’ve been sat on this plane for an hour worrying, whether or not she'll be okay. Praying, I haven’t shattered her or caused for her life to spiral out of control again. I would never forgive myself. There’s so much she doesn’t know about me, so much I've kept hidden to protect her. Hopefully, after reading the letter, she will understand why I kept myself closed off. And pray she believe's everything between us was true. I love her to bits. She allowed me to forget the trouble looming back home. The responsibilities I’m going to have to face.

James is sat in the row ahead of us, blatantly staring at the air hostess' ass. His attempts to flirt is comical, the poor lad has no fucking clue when it comes to women. Caleb is sat beside me, unusually quiet probably thinking about Nikki. In an attempt to have a nap, hopefully, that will help to push my problems away, one could wish.

I awaken when the tannoy sounds, telling us to prepare for landing. Buckling up, I brace myself for the descent, this is what I hate most about flying; the landing. My stomach’s in tight knots, waiting for us to be safely back on the ground. Air escapes from my lungs, when the wheels touch the tarmac, easing my queasiness. James and Caleb say their goodbyes before heading to catch their next flights. Luckily for me, we’ve landed in my hometown New Orleans. I exit the airport and search the lot wondering if anybody is here to pick me up. But unfortunately for me, the one person I thought was long gone is stood before me with a pistol raised at my chest.

I do as I've been taught and look the enemy in the eye, not showing any weakness. I’ve left myself unarmed, never in a million years did I think, he would show up in broad daylight. “Casper,” I warn, “you know you’ll never get away with this. Have you lost you fuckin mind?” I don’t receive a response, instead, I hear the sound of a gun being fired. “Fuck,” I ground out before dropping to the floor. I picture Isabelle, then my world goes into darkness.