A Sense of Duty: A Former Navy SEAL Falls in Love and Begins a New Journey with his Private Consulting Company: Dark Horse Guardians (35 page)

~Lara~

Lara was trying to understand exactly what Ben was telling her. "The divorce is over?" She whispered. "Yes. There's only paperwork to be signed, but she has agreed to it. I know it is finished." Ben sounded confident. "Lara, I need you to fly to Vancouver with me. I want you there with me." Lara took a long deep breath. She wanted to go with Ben, but was filled with anxiety. She had never been on a plane. She was terrified with the thought of flying. Ben assured her he could help her work through it. He was on his phone and made arrangements for two round-trip tickets to Vancouver. He booked a hotel room and made arrangements for Harris to take Einstein.

Lara cancelled her upcoming appointments and packed a small carry-on bag. Ben got a stand-in professor for his classes. He had a bag packed in five minutes and a cab waiting to take them to the Portland airport. Frightened and exhilarated at the same time, Lara's first time on an airplane was terrifying. As she stepped through the tunnel-like covering onto the plane she shivered. The air was cold. The moment her feet stepped over the steel plate onto the aircraft, she realized she had no control over what would take place for the next ten hours. Entering the long metal tube of the fuselage, Lara immediately felt claustrophobia overcome her. She tried to control her breathing. They found their seats in first class. It was now mid-morning and the sun was shining on the runway. Lara examined the pavement; it appeared to be dry and clear. Instructions came over the speakers. Doors closed and latched. She fastened her seatbelt and felt the plane moving as it slowly pulled away from the loading area.

Her heart was beating wildly as the plane rolled onto the runway, slowly; then turned onto another runway and the behemoth picked up speed. With her face close to the window, she examined the topography of the earth; it receded as the plane gradually ascended. It was fascinating to watch. With rapt attention, she was acutely aware of the click and whir of the landing gear tucking beneath the huge aircraft. Jet engines didn't purr, they roared. She watched the earth fade away little by little. Recognizable buildings, houses, and roads became a patchwork quilt of colors. Suddenly, she realized she was in a cloud. Anxiety swept over Lara as she felt powerless. Sensing her panic, Ben squeezed Lara's hand as she experienced her first take-off. In the first class seats there was at least some comfort.

The distance flown from Portland to Vancouver was about 2,500 miles; they landed in New York as more passengers boarded. Lara felt panicky again as the plane took off; it felt like the load was much heavier. The flight seemed to take forever. The air was cold and dry at 35,000 feet. She drank lots of water. Ben was attentive to Lara's every need. He showed her how to use the bathroom. Too nervous to eat, she sipped water and tried to close her eyes to sleep. Lara's heart raced. The only time on the plane when she was not in panic-mode was when Ben whispered in her ear saying crazy things to divert her attention. His commentary in her ear was filled with risqué and sensual things he wanted to do with her, and it worked for a while because she couldn't stop laughing. He nuzzled her neck and never stopped touching Lara throughout the entire flight, even sleeping with his arm around her.

Ben fell asleep shortly after take-off from New York catching a two-hour nap. Maybe he wore himself out saying all of those wild things in her ear. Lara's fear of flying began to decrease with Ben next to her. Instead of feeling sheer panic, she was beginning to relax. For a moment she felt thrilled to be in a cloud with Ben sleeping next to her. Ignoring the airplane and all of the background noise, Lara scrutinized Ben's handsome boyish face. Every so often he would toss and turn, but he was in deep slumber. She touched his muscular arm tracing her finger along his rock hard chest.
She could feel the pendant under his shirt. She had never thought of a man being beautiful, but Ben was. He had five o'clock shadow, but it looked sexy on him. Lara noticed the flight attendant observing her in her private reverie with Ben; she had been eyeing him, too. How many other women had traced Ben's lovely features with their fingers? Lara really did not want the answer to that question, but it lingered in the back of her mind.

As nerve-racking as the take-off was in Portland then New York, the landing in Vancouver was even more terrifying. Lara watched as they flew over what seemed to be hundreds of miles of city. The slowing of the aircraft was evident and the clicking of the landing gear was noticeable. She clutched the arms of the seat, trying to control her breathing. She thought of closing her eyes during the landing, but could not do so. She felt that would be the ultimate loss of control. Lara watched through the window as the plane came closer and closer to landing. It felt like they were touching down at 300 miles an hour and might run out of pavement before they stopped. She envisioned crashing into a building. When the wheels of the plane touched the pavement she felt a slight bump, then another bump, and they were finally on terra firma. Lara exhaled. After what seemed like an eternity, moving from one runway to the next, the plane finally taxied to a full stop
.
After ten hours of flight, t
hey landed in Vancouver.

Although she felt exhausted, Lara knew she had to be strong and supportive for Ben during this tumultuous time. Ben checked them into a beautiful five-star hotel in Vancouver. Thoughtfully, he attended to Lara's every need, arranging for a spa visit and spoke to the concierge to make sure every detail was carried out as he intended. Ben quickly showered and shaved. When he emerged, his face was filled with concern, "Sienna has been taken to a hospital not far from here. I just got a phone call while shaving. Not sure what's going on, but I am going to meet her there. I will text you as soon as I have further information." He looked so handsome, even when serious. He seemed to brace himself as if he were going into battle. His expression became solemn as he kissed Lara goodbye.

Having flown through a time zone or two, Lara felt hungry and tired. Room service brought her brunch, but it was really dinner in her body's time. Fresh flowers were delivered with a note from Ben, saying, "I love you". They were her favorite blossoms, a mixture of white and pink peonies. Ben seemed to remember the smallest details. She arrived at the spa at the appointed time. As she stretched out on the massage table, Lara enjoyed the relaxation and a complete hour to daydream about Ben. She decided she could never be without him again.

Arriving back in the room, she received a text from Ben. Sienna was being force fed in the hospital; she was weak and heavily sedated, as she fought with the doctors constantly. Ben was discouraged and could only see her briefly alone. He literally begged her to sign the divorce paperwork that he brought with him. Sienna was unresponsive to his request and he left the room, hopeful she would be stronger tomorrow. He said in the text message he was stopping to see his son. William was staying with Sienna's parents. He would text Lara again later. Lara's heart broke as she contemplated the anguish Ben was going through. She wondered what his visit with William would be like. The thought crossed her mind that Ben may need to take physical custody of William if Sienna's health did not improve. She recalled the many conversations she had with Sienna and how she described her love for her only child, William. Lara felt a deep sense of sorrow sweep over her. She felt a strong instinct to meet with Sienna in person.

She awoke with Ben's hand touching hers, not sure what time it was. As Lara opened her eyes, she thought she saw tears in his eyes but wasn't sure. Still groggy from sleep, she listened as Ben spoke, "I hope you have been comfortable here today." His first thoughts were of Lara's comfort. "Ben, I am fine. How are
you
?" His beautiful blue eyes looked tired and he dropped onto the bed, his body lying next to hers as he stared at the ceiling. They ordered room service and Lara listened as Ben unraveled the events of the hospital visit. "Sienna is in and out of a drug-induced state. Even if she signed the divorce document, it might not hold up in court because she is not of sound mind. I need to wait until she is a bit stronger, at least able to speak with me. Then, I visited William at Sienna's parent's house. He is staying there with them and doing well, in light of the circumstances. I tried my best to tell William that Sienna had anorexia before I married her. It even affected her pregnancy and delivery of him. The doctor advised she would never be able to have more children as her heart was too weak from her deliberate daily starvation." Ben heaved a sigh and continued. "I wish I had never left William in her care. I am a terrible father." Lara noticed tears filling Ben's beautiful eyes. Wrapping him in her arms, Lara told him he was not responsible for Sienna's disease. It didn’t assuage his feeling of guilt, however. He said he could have handled the situation differently and the outcome could have been better for William. Lara knew he was flogging himself emotionally, filled with blame and guilt. She held Ben and softly consoled him.

Driven by a strong sense of instinct, Lara requested Ben to arrange a meeting between her and Sienna. At first, Ben thought the idea was out of the question. But, Lara told him she felt strongly about it. She wanted to speak with Sienna privately with no one else in the room. Ben saw determination in Lara's eyes and knew he could not dissuade her. Room service arrived with dinner and they ate quietly. "What will you talk about?" Ben asked. "I know her, Ben. She has poured her heart and soul out to me on the phone and in e-mails for months now." He trusted Lara's insight. He phoned Sienna and told her she would have a visitor tomorrow; someone named Lara. Ben and Lara started out sleeping in separate beds, but during the night Ben woke and slipped into Lara's bed. She felt his body against her back and his breath on her neck as he snuggled against her. Lara knew Ben was concerned that Sienna might die. Of more concern, however, was his young son's reaction, should that happen. When morning came, they prepared themselves for the hospital visit. Ben brought Lara a hot coffee and croissant with fresh fruit while she was in the shower. Then, hailed a cab for them outside of the hotel.

Sienna was improving in the hospital, but her progress was slow. At least she was out of the intensive care unit. The feeding tube was now removed. Oxygen was being administered to her weakened body. Sienna had been moved into a private room. Cardiac experts were in and out of her room on a regular basis. Lara sat in a small waiting room at the end of the hallway as Ben made the initial pilgrimage to Sienna's bedside to let her know Lara was waiting to visit with her. From the end of the hallway Lara watched and listened as Ben left her room. He reported that Sienna's heartbeat was stronger and the feeding tube got her past the point of danger. She was now sitting up in bed, looking like death warmed over.

Sienna seemed surprised to see Lara
appear in her room, but her expression soon turned to a warm smile. "You came to see me? I can't believe it…" she could barely speak. Lara wanted to assure Sienna that she wanted the best for her and William. "We have a lot in common, you and me." Lara started, "I am thankful that we had those long conversations. I understand what drives you. It's your love for William." Sienna's large brown eyes lit up as she examined Lara's face. She listened as Lara continued, "I want you to know that I am on your side. I believe William should be with you, his mother. And, I confronted the jerk that sent you those awful texts and photos. He did it because I rejected his advances. Eric was jealous of Ben. I met Ben though other people at the university and was hired to renovate his office. I also want you to know I have never gotten involved with a married man. To be honest, I have never even had a boyfriend."

Sienna smiled as Lara continued. "I'm here because I wanted to personally thank you for making the effort to get an agreement and put the divorce behind you. It is the best thing for you and Ben, but more importantly, the best thing for William. Would it be all right with you if I met William?" Lara placed her hand on Sienna's as she spoke, a gentle gesture of kindness. "Of course, Lara, I would love for you to meet William. He's quite a young man, you know. I am so proud of him." Her eyes never left Lara's. "I will sign the divorce agreement. I just want William. After talking with you for months, I finally came to the realization that Ben never loved me to begin with. He married me out of a sense of duty. That's part of who he is. But it was never a real marriage. Through talking with you, I recognized I was clinging to my fantasy of Ben, not reality."

Sienna paused to sip ice water from a straw as Lara held the cup for her. "And, you are right, Lara. My opinion of you has changed completely because of our conversations. You are nothing like I first imagined. In my jealous rage, I pictured you as some sort of hussy. I thought you were playing around with Ben. But now that I know you much better, I recognize you are deeper than that. And, whether it's with Ben or some other deserving guy, I wish you happiness, because you are a good person." Speaking for this length of time seemed to exhaust Sienna. Lara squeezed her hand and thanked her. "Rest now, Sienna. You need to get strong for William. He needs you." As Lara left the hospital room, her eyes brimmed with tears. She wasn't sure if Sienna was going to make it. Lara now wanted to meet William.

~Ben~

Ben was standing in the small waiting room at the end of the hallway. He watched Lara as she emerged from Sienna's room wondering what the two women could have talked about. He was completely perplexed. As Lara came into the small waiting room, Ben saw the tears streaming down her face and quickly embraced her. "I'm sorry, Lara. I hope she didn't say something to upset you." Lara could not speak. She did not cry or sob. She was staring at the wall, as if in a trance, as tears slid silently from her eyes. Ben stroked her hair softly with his hand as he held her face close to his chest. "It's all right." Lara declared softly. "We understand one another and that's all that matters. Is it possible for me to meet William today?" Ben was silent for a moment
.  He looked into Lara's beautiful eyes, "Are you sure you want to do this now?" Lara was resolute. "Yes. Please arrange lunch with him. I must meet him."