A Reluctant Queen (27 page)
E
sther was stunned when Ahasuerus told her about Mordecai’s appointment. Her uncle was to be Head Treasurer! This was almost as incredible as her becoming queen.
“You look surprised,” Ahasuerus said.
“I am. I did not know you had such an admiration for Mordecai. You don’t know him very well, after all.”
“I know what is important; I know he is loyal. And I interviewed a few of the other men in the Treasury. They all spoke highly of his ability. I’m sick of appointments going to members of the Royal Kin who are incompetent as well as disloyal. Mordecai is the sort of man I need right now.”
They were in Esther’s bed, in Esther’s bedroom, which was where, to the amazement of his court, Ahasuerus still regularly slept. They were retiring early because he had to be up before dawn. Tomorrow was one of Ahuramazda’s holy days, so he would be riding out to the mountains with the Magi to the god’s shrine.
Ahasuerus went to sleep quickly, as he always did, but Esther lay awake, her mind busy with this new development. She was happy for her uncle, of course. He deserved to be recognized for his honesty and his ability. But what would this appointment mean for her? With Mordecai now in a position close to Ahasuerus, what was her role supposed to be? If it truly had been God’s plan for her to become queen, was it so that Mordecai could achieve this high position? Certainly he was now in a better place than she to know all of the political news, to be able to set the Jewish side of Palestinian issues before the king. So where did that leave her?
Ahasuerus lay next to her, his back toward her, his breathing deep and slow and regular. Uncle Mordecai had snored so loudly that sometimes Esther had had trouble getting to sleep. But Ahasuerus slept quietly, his breath only audible if she listened closely. She put out her hand and laid it lightly on his warm back. She could feel the horseman’s muscles beneath the thin linen of his night robe.
She loved him so much. She hated having to lie to him. He, who hated lying more than anything in the world, had given his precious love to a woman who was a Lie.
For she thought that he did love her. She felt it in him. With her he could relax his guard, be simply Ahasuerus the person, not Ahasuerus the Great King. If he found out that she had been lying to him all this time . . . she shivered. It would hurt him unbearably. He did not give his love or his trust easily, and he had given both to her. And she was a Lie.
If she told him who she was right now, perhaps she could make him understand. She thought about this for a while, imagining the scene, trying out the different words she might use, but she always ended up back in the same dead end. How could she tell him the truth without involving her uncle? Ahasuerus knew that Mordecai had presented her to Hegai. Their connection could not be clearer.
The tears began to roll slowly down Esther’s face as she recognized she was as trapped as she had ever been. Trapped by the necessity to maintain her uncle’s credibility and trapped even more tightly by her love for Ahasuerus.
The thing she feared the most was for Ahasuerus to learn her identity from someone else. If Haman, for example, should look into Mordecai’s background and find he had a niece named Esther who had disappeared . . .
Esther closed her eyes tightly and prayed:
My Father in Heaven. Please, please do not let that happen. If the truth has to come out, let it come from me. It would devastate Ahasuerus to hear it from anyone else. Please, Father. Take pity on Your daughter. I have tried to do Your will. I was obedient to my uncle, who sent me here to do Your work. Do not desert me, I beg You. Do not let Ahasuerus find out who I am
.
Worn out by emotion, Esther finally fell asleep and when she awoke, Ahasuerus was gone. She was still in bed picking at her breakfast when Luara came back in. “Take this tray away, Luara,” she said fretfully. “It makes me sick to look at it.”
Luara picked up the tray and said in the calm way that Esther so valued, “Do you feel well enough to see Hegai? He has been requesting an audience with you.”
True to her promise to Ahasuerus, Esther had been trying to involve the Head Eunuch more actively in her affairs. Hathach had been understanding when Esther explained her plight to him. There was a great difference in Hathach these days. Simply, the young man was happy, far too happy to begrudge Hegai his place in the sun.
Esther told Luara to admit the Head Eunuch, who came in with his stately tread. When he reached the bed, he bowed.
“Good morning, Hegai,” Esther said.
“Good morning, my lady. I hope you are well.” His eyes flicked shrewdly over her pale face, and Esther had little doubt that he had guessed the reason for her pallor.
“Very well, thank you,” she answered.
“I bring a request from the Head Treasurer, my lady. He would like to see you today.”
After a long, restless night, Esther was not in the mood to confront her uncle. “Not today, Hegai. Put him off for me, would you?”
“Certainly, my lady.” Hegai gave her that shrewd look once again. “I will tell him you are indisposed.”
“Thank you.”
“I have no other messages for you, my lady,” Hegai said disapprovingly.
Esther sighed. “I know I am a sad disappointment to you, Hegai, but the truth is I am perfectly content to leave the business of the empire to the king. He is more than competent, you know.”
Hegai’s keen gray eyes moved from Esther to the unoccupied other half of the big bed. There was still a dent in the pillow where Ahasuerus’ head had rested. Hegai looked back to Esther, noted the unbound hair that streamed around her shoulders, and said frankly, “I admitted you to the harem, my lady, because I thought you might suit the king. If I had known how well you would suit him, I would have sent you home.”
Esther’s lips curled in a smile of rueful acknowledgment.
In the sudden quiet the muted sound of boys’ laughter could be heard drifting in through the shutter that Luara had opened to catch the morning sun. “The pages,” Esther said with a smile. “They have a day off today.”
Hegai grunted.
Esther straightened her back. “Since we are being honest with each other this morning, Hegai, let me bring to your attention a problem that the king does not quite know how to handle.” She drew a deep breath. “The harem.”
Hegai compressed his full lips.
She said, “The problem is that the king wants nothing to do with it.”
Hegai stiffened. “The harem exists solely for the pleasure of the king, my lady. It has no purpose at all if he never visits it.”
Esther pushed a long strand of hair behind her ear and said passionately, “I could weep when I think of all those mutilated boys, all those girls sold into slavery, to satisfy the desires of one man.”
Hegai looked stunned. “Is this the reason the king is staying away?”
“No. That is my own observation, Hegai. The king’s reason is more statesmanlike. He does not wish to burden the empire with dozens of illegitimate princes.
Royal parasites
, I believe he called them.”
“I win!” The voice was close to Esther’s window.
Hegai scowled. “Those boys should not be playing outside your bedroom.”
“They are not bothering me. In fact, I enjoy hearing them. Now, Hegai, I need you to think about this problem. What can we do to give the harem occupants a purpose in life?”
“They have no purpose in life if the king never visits. As you yourself pointed out, my lady, all of their access to another life has been taken away from them.”
“The girls will not be so difficult,” Esther mused, as if he had not spoken. “If we offer a high enough bride price, I’m sure we can manage to find husbands for the younger ones. The older women have less chance of marriage, but then, the older women are more content with the places they have won in the harem structure.”
Hegai stared at her in horror. “Are you thinking of dismantling the harem?”
“No,” Esther said with regret. “I would like to, of course, but the king would object to so drastic a move.”
“I am relieved to hear that,” he retorted with heavy irony.
“If we were going to disband the harem, I would not be asking you to help me think of ways to give it a sense of purpose, Hegai.”
He sniffed. “You are doing well enough without my advice, my lady. You have disposed of the women. Now what of the eunuchs?”
Esther’s eyes were on her index finger, watching it draw concentric circles on the silk coverlet that was pulled to her waist. She said, “I was thinking that perhaps the eunuchs could form a special guard unit—you know, like the Royal Bodyguard, but one that would be composed solely of eunuchs.”
The silence in the room was absolute. Then, “Are you serious?” Hegai asked.
“Well.” Esther glanced up at him and then looked back to her finger. “Yes.”
“The king does not need another guard unit.”
“No, but this could be the Queen’s Guard, Hegai. The eunuchs could have their own special uniforms and do their own special drills. They could march in all the processions, have their own weapons, their own horses . . .”
More silence. Esther laid her hand flat on the coverlet and looked at him. “What do you think?”
“I don’t know,” Hegai said slowly.
“It would give them something to do, you see, something they could take pride in.”
“Has the king agreed to this idea?”
“I have not told him about it yet. I thought I would first ask you if you thought it was a good idea.”
Hegai looked flattered.
“
Do
you think it’s a good idea?”
“It might be,” Hegai said.
“Do you think I should approach the king about it?”
“Yes,” Hegai said decisively. “I do.”
After Hegai had left, Luara came back in to dress Esther for the day.
I
t was the morning of Ahasuerus’ monthly Public Audience. This session was meant to be a time when the citizens of the empire had a chance to speak directly to the Great King. The tradition had begun with Cyrus, but under Darius it had evolved into more of a ritual than an actual forum. Only a few petitioners were allowed to approach Darius; the rest were shunted off to a judge or another court official. Darius had never sat for more than an hour at his Public Audience.
Ahasuerus, whose Public Audiences in Babylon had been crowded, was always surprised by the small number of people who came in Susa. At first he thought it might be because Darius had made so many improvements in the lives of the common people that they had few complaints. Ahasuerus had not liked his father, but he always recognized the value of his accomplishments.
After a while, however, Ahasuerus began to feel that there must be something else to account for the paucity of petitioners. No large group of people could be this content.
On this particular morning, Ahasuerus waited for the petitioners in the Great Reception Room of the palace. As usual he sat upon the Imperial Throne, which was golden with four lions’ feet and had a canopy that was inlaid with jewels and supported by golden pillars. Behind the throne at these audiences stood a servant holding the royal fly whisk made of the tail of a wild bull. Another servant to the right of the throne held a napkin and vase. In front of the servants, to the right and left of the throne, stood the King’s Bowbearer and King’s Lancebearer. In front of the throne two incense bearers were positioned, indicating by their presence the point to which a petitioner was allowed to approach.
Ahasuerus himself was dressed as he always was for these audiences. He wore the king’s robes of costly, imperial purple. Gold bracelets and a gold collar added to the effect, while a golden girdle supported his sword and in his right hand he grasped a golden scepter.
Ahasuerus had been brought up with this protocol and had seen no reason to make any changes. So now he looked out at the handful of people waiting to see him, heads bowed, hands displayed to show there was no threat of assassination, and was puzzled that there were so few.
Haman announced the first petitioner: “My lord, Akis the Merchant begs to approach you.”