A Most Unsuitable Earl (Regency Collection Book 3) (9 page)

***

In the middle of May, Ethan and Catherine’s close family and friends gathered at St. Ge
orge’s Church for the wedding, or rather, the
disaster.
  Ethan tried not to notice the way the duke glared at him or the fact that Catherine sobbed relentlessly into a handkerchief.  The whole thing was humiliating.  The only person who was happy with the event was his mother who kept grinning from ear to ear.

Once the horrifying wedding was over
, they went to the breakfast supper.  He had to sit next to Catherine who continued to dab her eyes with a
new
handkerchief.  At one point, he set down his fork and
groaned
.

“
Will you please stop crying already
?” he asked, wondering how many tears a lady could possibly have.  Good heavens, but she must have cried a river at this point!

From her other side, her father directed his sharp gaze at Ethan.  “What else would you expect from someone attending her own funeral?”

Just as Ethan was about to reply, his mother, who sat on his other side, patted his hand.  Peering around him, she offered the duke a glowing smile.  “It’s normal for brides to cry.”

“Those aren’t tears of joy,” Ethan muttered.

“Of course, they are.  She just doesn’t know it yet.” She patted his hand again and looked at Catherine.  “You’ll love your bedchamber.  I spared no expense in decorating it. 
Your furniture is made of rosewood.  Oh, I can’t express how beautiful
it is to see chairs with such rich, deep brown color in them.
  They go so well with your
peach
bedding
and curtains.  Peach
is such a soothing color, don’t you think?”

Ethan gagged.  Like he wanted to be subjected to talk of decorating bedchambers!  “Mother, would you like to change seats so you can discuss this in detail?”

She laughed and waved her hand at him.  “I wouldn’t dream of separating you from your bride.  This is your special day.  It’s a new beginning.  Think of it as the first day of the rest of your life.”

That made Catherine cry even harder.

“It’s not working, Mother,” Ethan replied, wondering why she i
nsisted on acting so cheerful.

This was anything but a cheerful event, and all the food and music in the world wasn’t going to lift the feeling of doom that
hovered in
the air.  Even the guests, who
consisted of a few family and friends were unusually quiet during the whole thing.  And who could blame them?  This really did seem like a funeral.

Ethan managed to finish his meal, not because it was easy to eat but because the food was good and no matter what the circumstance, he refused to let good food go to waste.  He noticed that Catherine didn’t bother to eat any of it, though she poked her
food with her fork from time to time.

Meanwhile, Ethan’s mother chatted with some of the guests about the fine decorations and the excellent music.  They offered stilted replies while glancing warily at Catherine, but no one came right out and called the whole thing a farce so Etha
n supposed it went as well as
could
be
expect
ed
.

By the time it was over, Catherine’s father asked to speak with Ethan.  Though he didn’t want to, he didn’t dare upset him or Catherine any more than he already had, so he agreed.

Finding a secluded spot, her father clenched and unclenched his jaw.  “This is a conversation
I never wanted to have
, but
it appears I have no choice,” he quietly said.

“Your Grace?” Ethan hesitantly asked, not sure where the other gentleman was going with this.

“It’s not in my nature to be so bold, but my daughter is a delicate creature so I must.”

Ethan couldn’t argue that.  He knew ladies were prone to crying and fainting, but Catherine was obnoxiously so.  Every time she walked, she needed to lean against her father as if she didn’t have the strength to manage on her own, and she was still crying.  He’d be
fortunate if she didn’t fill his townhouse
with her tears and float them all out to sea.

“
Ethan,” the duke began with a shudder, a silent indication that he hated thinking of Ethan as family but had to now that the wedding was over.  After a long, and what Etha
n suspected was an intentionally
dramatic pause, the duke continued, “I must insist that you practice the utmost restraint tonight.  You can’t approach her as some common whore.”

His jaw dropped.  Wa
s his father-in-law serious?  Why was he
having this discussion with him?  And now?  He glanced at the others who, thankfully, remained out of hearing distance.

“You will be gentle with her, and you’
ll be quick,” the duke added
.  “Do I make myself clear?”

Unable to believe this was happening, he stared dumbly at him.
  He had no idea the duke could be so blunt.  Good heavens.  Between his mother and his father-in-law, he was being pestered from all angles!

“Well?”

The impatient tone in the duke’s voice
prompted him to
respond
.  “Yes.  Of course.  I wouldn’t dream of being any other way
with your daughter.”

The duke looked visibly relieved.  “Good.
  I believe you’ll do it.
”

Ethan remained still as the duke returned to his daughter.  Never in his life did he think a wedding night could terrify a gentleman, but he was absolutely and completely terrified.  He had no desire to be with Catherine in bed.  All she’d do was cry.  What gentleman wanted that?  The whole thing made him sick to his stomach.

Well, there was an easy way to handle that.  He wouldn’t go to her bedchamber.  Then he wouldn’t have to force things along while she sobbed into her handkerchief.  Relieved, he
went to Catherine, forcing
a smile to the guests who offered their congratulations.

When it was time to go to the
carriage
, Catherine wobbled on her feet and claimed she was weak, so his mother rushed to put her arm around her and steadied her.  He knew it was awkward that his bride sought help from his mother, but it couldn’t be helped.  Even if his mother was the deceitful mastermind behind this travesty, Catherine would find more comfort with her than with him.

They entered the
carriage
and Catherine refused to sit next to him, so his mother sat between them. 
As the coachman led the horses forward, h
e shook his head and stared out
of
the small window.  It was ridiculous.  The guests had to
be laughing over the whole ordeal
.  He knew he’d be laughing if he was watching it.  He groaned and rubbed his eyes.  Not only would he be laughing, but he’d hurry over to White’s to tell the gentleman all about it.

“Ethan, it’s bad manners to grumble when you’re leaving your breakfast dinner,” his mother admonished.
  “People are apt to think you don’t want to be married.”

“They’d be right
,” he hissed.

Catherine stopped sniffing into her handkerchief and glared at him.  “I don’t want to be married to you either!”

He made it a point to roll hi
s eyes so she’d notice.  Like everyone
didn’t already know that!
  “At least I didn’t groan during the whole wedding and meal.”

“I didn’t groan.”

“Your endless crying is
just as bad
.”

His mother let out a hearty chuckle.  “What you two need
is
time to sit and talk
to each other
.  Once you do, you’ll realize how
ideal
you are together.”

He bit back his reply.  It wouldn’t do any good to argue.  His mother refused to listen to reason.
  While his
mother continued to console Catherine
, he crossed his arms and turned his attention to the window.  The irony wasn’t lost to him.  He’d spent the last five years carefully crafting his reputation in hopes of avoiding marriage, and ye
t it was his reputation that forced
his mother to
take
such extreme measures.  And now, he wasn’t only married, but his marriage was already a dismal failure.

When the carriage finally came to a stop, he waited as the footman opened the door before daring a glance in his bride’s direction.  At least she wasn’t crying anymore.  Her eyes were swollen and her cheeks and nose red, but she wasn’t crying so that was progress.  After she and her mother stepped out of the carriage, he reluctantly followed them.

Though he’d love nothing more than to run off to White’s, the taunting from the gentlemen there would be unbearable.  “You swore you’d never marry,” they’d say.  “So much for your boasting!”
Then they’d make bets on whether or not Catherine could tame him.

Well, he did have one small comfort.  The townhouse was large enough where he could be alone, and he had his own bedchamber.
  When he entered the townhouse, the butler informed him that he had a package waiting for him in the library.  Surprised, he left his happy mother with her new daughter-in-law and
went to the library to see what came for him.

He recognized the handwriting as soon as he saw the
small
box wrapped in brown paper.  It was from Agatha. 
His
cu
riosity piqued, he opened it
.  In the box was a
jar of olive oil
and a neatly folded paper.  Even though he had a sinking sensation what the jar was for, he opened the letter and read it.

Before you disregard the jar, keep in mind I was married.  Albeit
, it was for almost twenty-four hours
, but even so, I have experience in this area that you’ll benefit from.  Your wife’s first time will most likely be disappoin
ting.  This isn’t your fault.  You
don’t know what to do.  However, it works to your advantage that she doesn’t know this.  I’m afraid there’s little you can do to relax a frightened young virgin, but you must not hop on top of h
er and stick it in right away. 
My advice is for you to touch and kiss all of her.  Ta
ke time to adore her.  Then put
four to five drops of
olive oil
on your finger
and slip it in the area between her legs.  I
t’ll make things more bearable for her, and she’ll be more receptive to you next time you visit her bed.

Ethan quickly placed the jar back in the box and tore the letter so his mother and his new wife wouldn’t read it.  He closed the box and slipped it into the drawer of his desk.  While other gentlemen might have been appalled at Agatha’s boldness, he expected it from her.  Sure, she wouldn’t behave that way in polite society, but they both knew each other well enough to put aside such formalities when no one was around.

Even though he’d never admit it, he was relieved she gave him something to use to help the process go easier.  He’d hate for Catherine to be so frightened over her first time that the duke would pick up on it.  Granted, she would never tell
him her first time was a disaster, but somehow—some way—Ethan knew her father would figure it out.  The duke was a sly fox.

However, it wasn’t an issue tonight, so Ethan could rest assured that, at the moment, he was safe from trying to make Catherine’s first time bearable enough where she wouldn’t collapse into another bout of tears.
He went over to the shelf, picked up his decanter and poured himself a glass of brandy.  The day had been awful. 
He didn’t know how it could get any worse, but he was sure if he spent any time with Catherine or hi
s mother, it would.  So he spent
the rest of his time holed up in his library, reading a book.

Catherine accepted the tea from Ethan’s mother and took a sip.  The two were alone in
the drawing room, and the closed
door afforded them some privacy, giving her a much needed reprieve from her husband.

“You m
ust not despair, Catherine,” Ethan’s
mother softly said from where she sat next to her on the settee.  “My son isn’t as awful as he appears.”

Though Catherine doubted it, she kept silent.  Of course
,
a mother wouldn’t think the worst about her son.
  To her, he was a darling cherub who did no wrong, no matter what scandalous deeds the
Tittletattle
reported about him.

“I know it’s hard to believe,” she continued as if she could read Catherine’s though
ts, “but it’s true.  He’s
taken good care of me after his father passed on.  I’ve never lacked for anything, and he’s never spoken an ill word toward me.  I expect he’ll be the same
way with you.”