A Mate Worse Than Death (5 page)

“No way!” Cal yelled, and when the Lieutenant shot him a look, he blanched and added, “Sir! That guy is a sleezeball.”

Azeem looked at Cal for a full minute without speaking, long enough for Cal to review his life and wonder why he didn’t listen to Tony more often and keep his lip zipped. When rolls of sweat began beading off of Cal’s forehead, Azeem finally broke the silence.

“Detective Kelly,” he purred, at his most dangerous, “I don’t remember asking your opinion of Mephistopheles, who, while a person of interest, is also an old friend of mine. We go way back. He also has the most to lose if the Geas acts without our intervention. It is likely to kill him as part of the response to this crime.”

Cal tossed a wild-eyed look down at Tony, who lifted one side of her mouth in a grin and shook her head. Then she came to his rescue.

“Sir, Cal took offense to Phil’s treatment of me. He got a bit...” she paused and Cal faked a cough and said, “Sleezy.” She glared at him, “A bit familiar. I think Cal’s just being a good partner.”

Azeem smiled, not the most reassuring expression on a Sphinx. “Duly noted. However, a ‘good partner’ would trust his partner to know what she is doing.”

“Yes, sir,” Cal nodded miserably.

Azeem turned to Tony and added, “But having said that, watch your back. He has a long” he grimaced, “and well-earned reputation in seduction of many kinds. Don’t compromise your objectivity on this case. I hope he is cleared, but no one is in the clear yet.”

Tony nodded, “Sir, I promise. I am just not that easy.”

Cal snorted and headed toward his desk. “I guess I start on the Mundane leads. You better go get geared up for the trip.”

Azeem added, “You have your Last Will and Testament on record with Natural/Supernatural Resources?”

Tony and Cal looked at each other, and Cal started to protest, but Tony threw her left hand out to stop him. Without turning around she called out, “Did it the first day on the job with the SCIB, sir, as required. And my latest update was just last week.”

“Good. Record a potential farewell for your parents before you go. And good luck.”

CHAPTER SIX

Getting geared up for the trip meant a trip down to the armory to get a few special items to make it possible for a Natural to be able to go to a realm in the otherworlds and return intact. Some regions of the otherworlds were so inhospitable that even the creatures of legend did not go there. But Tony didn’t need that kind of protection since no one she was questioning would be desperate enough to have exiled itself to such a place. Her job was simple, routine police investigation with one gargantuan catch. Few magical creatures would allow questions from Naturals at all, and if they did, well, there was always a riddle to answer or a door to choose or some other trick to try to give nothing for something, that something usually being the life of the Natty asking the questions.

These mismatched contests were a constant theme in the fairy tale books of old, and in the 1980s, those books became history books. Therefore, handling such situations became a part of the training for all Nattys and their partners train
ing for Supernatural Crimes Investigation branches. The training included courses such as “Answering Extreme Riddles” and “Right vs. Ethical Choices for Naturals”. The goal in any partnership was to have the Super partner question other Supers, but the coursework always tried to anticipate worst case scenario. Tony figured she’d probably become a textbook case and simply hoped she could get back to do the lecture herself one day.

The armory supervisor, Glinda, looked up as Tony walked in and her laughter tinkled like the tiniest, most annoying set of wind chimes. “Oh my dear! Are you a good detective, or a bad detective?”

Tony grinned at her, “Hiya Glinda, how’s it going?” When the Curse, the Great Geas, hit in the 1980s, Glinda the, supposedly, Good found herself bound to serve and protect by protecting those who had to travel to otherworlds. Tony wanted to ask Glinda how she ended up working in law enforcement, but she had developed a healthy respect for all witches, especially since the case she and Cal had worked that had ended with the capture of Teraphina. She had learned during that particular case that an angry witch was a wicked witch, no question about it. So when it came to Glinda’s work status, there was no way she’d ever bring that topic up. Now if Glinda brought it up herself, sure, she’d push it. But so far, it hadn’t happened and she had to control the curiosity that made her a good detective.

“Perhaps,” Glinda trilled in her babydoll voice, because that tidbit from
Fleming’s movie was accurate, even if “Good” might not be, “you have been very good and you get to travel.” She cocked her head to one side, her impossibly large, shimmering crown staying on her head at that angle like, well, magic. “But I suspect you are about to be very, very bad!” She shook a finger at the detective, actually looking a bit angry, which puzzled Tony.

“I couldn’t tell you, G. All I know is that one of us has to go follow leads on Lilith’s murder in the otherworlds, and Cal’s wife is too close to her due date, so I’ve got to go.”

Glinda turned her head down again and looked up at Tony with a sly, feral smile unlike her normally studied, child-like innocence, “And you go all alone into the unknown?” she asked.

Tony raised both eyebrows, “Well, no. The Lieutenant saddled me with a civilian Super to make sure I could get in, get answers, and get back, without any problems.”

Glinda’s laughter trilled again, like broken glass. “Saddled? Without problems? Oh Detective Tony, that is so funny!”

Tony rarely had trouble with Supers. She was far too easy-going to take offense at their almost biological need to game the Nattys, and she’d always gotten along with Glinda. They’d even gone out to ladies night at Club Sidhe over in Georgetown a few times. She was puzzled by Glinda’s aggressive behavior toward her, until she was blinded by the answer to Glinda’s bad attitude, which arrived in the form of an ove
rdressed, smooth-talking demon.

“Glinda, mon ange,” Mephistopheles glided in the door, his Diesel jeans hugging his ass, his button-down shirt unbuttoned just enough to make the viewer want to ease a few more open to enjoy the view. He sauntered over to the counter where Glinda held court and lifted her wand hand and brought it slowly to his lips, pausing midway to glance up at her under his brows in a look that threatened to make Tony’s knees go weak just from watching before he finally ended the gesture in a kiss to the palm that set off Glinda’
s tinkling laughter once again.

“Oh, Phil,” she murmured breathlessly, “it’s too bad you’re going out of world. I was hoping we could,” she glanced over at Tony and quite rudely shifted to one of the languages of Fairie. Since it was more closely linked to the language of Earthly whales than Earthly humans, Tony found herself wincing and poking at her ear, trying to
make it stop.

Mephistopheles laughed as she finished and said, patting the wand hand he still strategically held, “Ah, but Glinda, duty of a very different kind calls! I must make sure that my work is not disrupted by someone murdering my clients. I must go with this poor human and make sure she can obtain and return with information unscathed.” He changed from a pat to a stroke and Glinda’s eyes slitted like a cat’s. Tony watched all but open-mouthed at this display, wondering if Glinda would start purring next.

“Well,” Glinda murmured, her baby-doll voice gone husky, “let’s get you two ready for the trip, shall we?”

Thirty minutes later, Tony stood looking down at a hideous, brown, cowl-necked robe, so similar to a medieval monk’s habit that she kept touching the back of her head to make sure her long, chestnut-colored hair was intact and no tonsure had magically changed her style. Phil gave her a smoldering smile, and she frowned at him as Glinda puttered around her, making thoughtful little noises as she touched her wand to the garment and ignored the detective’s reaction.

“Uh, G?” Tony finally asked, having patiently put up with being tented out in the musty, scratchy fabric. “So, I’m guessing this is some kind of cammie?”

Phil snickered and muttered, “Not the kind I like.”

Glinda grinned at him, and Tony suddenly noticed that she had rather pointy little teeth. So not reassuring. But Glinda turned to Tony and nodded, “Oh my dear, in this, no one will notice you are even there. Apparently even Phil,” she giggled. “It exudes ‘look-away’ spells that will allow Phil to do the questioning and all you have to do is prompt him. No one will hear you but him, and that way, easy-peasy, you’ll go” she lilted, “and then you’ll return! And no one the wiser but you!” She turned to bat her eyes at Phil, “Maybe you’ll even make it home in time for dinner,” and she giggled again and ran a hand up the front of his chest where his shirt gaped open.

Tony decided to pretend she had no idea what kind of meal Glinda had on her mind. “Uh huh,” Tony muttered as she tried to pull the incredibly scratchy cloth away from her body. “Any other goodies we may need?”

Phil smiled at Glinda and patted her hand before peeling it gently from his chest.

She giggled again, which was really beginning to get on Tony’s last nerve, and then she turned to Tony. “I have a bag for you with provisions for the trip.” She walked to the large counter that fronted the armory office. “When the Lieutenant called down, he asked me to prepare a little bag of tricks for you, so here it is.” She ope
ned a drawer and pulled out an enormous tote, a Louis Vuitton Wilshire GM in bright red.

Tony looked at the bag, then at Glinda. “G. You are killing me. That’s not a purse. It’s a suitcase. A big, shiny, red, attention-grabbing, designer suitcase.”

Glinda cocked her head in question.

“Will a look-away spell cover something this...loud?” Tony asked.

“As long as you keep this on your arm, no one will see it but you or Phil,” Glinda trilled at her.

Tony sighed. Her purse, which lived in her locker most of the time, was a nylon Baggallini travel purse that cost about forty dollars. T
he red thing she’d be carrying retailed for closer to $2,500. Still, it probably held some interesting bits not found in her Baggallini. “What little extras are in there?”

Glinda reached in, far in, so far in it looked like she was going to fall into the purse. “I believe we have included a few memory spells,” she pulled one out and showed it to them. “These look like eggs. Simply fling them at the ground in front of the creature you need to forget you--they work on any living thing within a five foot radius of them, so hold your
breath!” She dropped the egg in and then dug around and pulled out a twig, “This is medicinal.”

Tony broke in, “So we chew that?”

Glinda laughed, “Oh no. Phil?”

“This is rowan,” he murmured to Tony, “and you touch it to whatever...” he paused and looked up and down her, “part of you needs healing.”

“O--kay,” Tony shook her head. Then she looked at Glinda. “That’s kind of a large bag for two items.”

Glinda reached in her arm, but then pulled it back out. “Oh, of course, I added food and water. You can’t eat or drink anything there, or you’ll have to stay.
There are several other useful items in here, but Phil has the inventory. The most important is that you have transportation.”

“A spell?”

“A motorcycle.”

“Uh...in that bag?”

“It’s very versatile and roomy.”

“And red.”

Phil stopped them. “Enough. It is time to go.”

Tony nodded. “No monk’s robe for Phil?” She looked around. “Uh, Phil?” She looked around once again, with Glinda giggling all the while, and at that moment she heard Phil whispering in her ear, so close to her that the heat of his breathe tickled her neck and sent a chill down her back. It also made her remember her dream from last night and suddenly she was very glad that neither Glinda nor Phil could read thoughts since hers had suddenly gone a bit R-rated.

“I’m right here,” Phil breathed into her ear. “No look-away spells needed.” She turned to the voice and bumped her head against his nose as he suddenly reappeared next to her.

“Ouch!” He rubbed his nose.

“Nice trick. Let’s go.”

Phil shrugged at Glinda and the two of them headed out of the armo
ry to the station’ portal door.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Any city in the United States with a Super population over 5,000 Beings had a portal. Again, like so many things after the Outing, those just appeared. They were generally linked to some kind of law enforcement building where the Supernatural Crimes Investigation branch supervisor had dominion over the traffic through the portal. In cities like D.C., where the population of Supers rose considerably above 5,000, more than one portal existed. Oddly, in some really small towns, like Pumpkintown, North Carolina, for example, more than one portal existed. While Pumpkintown had only one stoplight, it also had close to 15,000 Supers in the form of several colonies of pixies living in the Appalachian foothills, and accommodating that much potential foot traffic seemed to be the main criterion for portal manifestation. Any Supernatural creature could travel between the portals, but not all could do so safely or permanently. The situation was a little like musical chairs. When the Geas went into effect, everyone had to grab a realm and most had to stay--the music had essentially stopped for most. Most Supers just knew whether or not they could travel, but the ability to go through the portal didn’t seem to have any kind of clear, logical criteria. Several different universities with large, new Supernatural Anthropology divisions were exploring the issue, but so far they
had no clear conclusions on it.

Oddly, Naturals could go through the portals, but the problem with hopping realms came from the Supers in those other realms. Unlike those in Mundania after the Great Change, they weren’t required to play nicely, and few Naturals had the defenses needed to survive such encounters. For the most part, portal travel involved quick visits home by Mundania’s Supernatural community. The exceptions to that generally involved criminal activity or sad attempts by homesick Supers to return to their origin realms. Those never worked out, and the Supers who tried found out that they cou
ld not, in fact, go home again.

Naturally, the portal that Tony would be going through was in her District office because her unit was there, near Dupont Circle. Near the edge of D.C. in Upper Northwest D.C., a second Super Uni
t also had a portal. The FBI’s J. Edgar Hoover building housed a third portal since the Federal government had its own Supernatural Crimes Investigation division as well, though they dealt specifically with kidnapping cases, especially changeling incidents, which were at an all-time high, despite the Geas. The fourth portal in D.C., oddly enough, had manifested in the basement of a fire house near the Southwest/Waterfront district. The spread of portals in highly populated areas corresponded to where the Supers lived rather than any logical placement.

While the placement was odd, the number wasn’t.
There were over 20,000 Supers in D.C., if for no other reason than the Senators and Representatives from each state who had to reside in the city in order to function in the Federal legislative branches of government. After the Great Change, the new politicos had appeared on the roster overnight, and the Supreme Court battle over their staying in office had gotten ugly beyond belief, despite the daunting appearance of both Old King Cole, a light Fae, and Baba Yaga, a dark fae, as the 10th and 11th Justices on the Court. However, during the court battle, the GOOENs had appeared to the full Supreme Court in chambers, and while all eleven Justices kept silent about the content of the discussion that followed, suddenly all arguments against having Supers in any role of government died a swift, painless death. The other nations of Mundania had changed just as quickly, with only a few pockets of resistance to the influence of magic, most of those in the Middle East. The Geas allowed those pockets, but The Powers That Be tightly monitored them.

No one in the United States could quite say he or she had been manipulated through magical means, but at the same time, given how long it took for minorities and women to attain important governmental roles throughout world politics, general consensus was that the Geas had done the job--going from disbelief and prejudice to full inclusion in just a few months screamed magical means. Americans just hadn’t been able to change their attitudes on anything that fast since the American Revolution.
And of course, of late, most politicians acted like changing their minds indicated some kind of moral flaw, so the likelihood of magical influence was too great to deny. After a few years of watching politics in D.C. turn into a stalemate of epic proportions and tragic consequences, the influx of magical senators and representatives had ended a period of two-party dominance that had stalled the economy and stymied growth in every area. It really was tough for anyone to argue that the Great Change had been anything but a positive influence, at least for the United States.

As Tony and Phil walked to her local portal door, she realized that Glinda had left the trailing robes just a bit too long. The third time she tripped on them and nearly hit the ground, Phil reached out and caught her before she went down.

“I think the alterations on this are a bit off?” Phil murmured as Tony struggled with the hemline and pulled away from his arms.

She looked up and grimaced, “Glinda’s mind seemed like it was on something besides the job.” She ignored his sotto voce, “Tsk, tsk, jealousy is so unbecoming,” when she turned and realized that another cop coming down the hall was standing and staring at the two of them with a confused look on his face. “Hey, Joe,” she called to the Natty cop who worked with the SCIB, but partnered with a Giant. Joe didn’t get into the main precinct much because his partner had to stay on the outer perimeter of the city. They tended to work cases around the edges of the city and on the harbors nearby so that Jaques didn’t do too much structural harm in performing his duties. “How’s Jaques doing?”

Joe’s mouth worked for a second or two. “Is that Tony?” he finally got out.

“What?”

Phil was grinning during all this, but when Tony turned to him, he reminded her, “The look-away spell is much stronger for Naturals. Joe can hear you because you directly addresse
d him, but he doesn’t see you.”

Joe looked at Phil, then at the space Tony stood in. “Oh man, are you going out in magical gear? What you got, girl?”

“I’m in a godawful hair shirt or something, like I should start with the Gregorian chant. Apparently, it keeps Supers from noticing me, and Phil here says I’m invisible to Naturals.”

Joe grinned, “When you get back, see if you can keep that for a couple of days. My daughter’s got a date this weekend with a high school senior. I sure would like to ride along and make sure he’s as nice as she thinks he is!”

Tony shook her head and laughed, “Oh, Joe, that is the worst idea ever! You may want her to speak to you again one of these days. Besides,“ she added, for apparently not-so-little Tanisha’s benefit, “if she’s old enough to date, she’s old enough to decide who. And I’m sure you’ve done your job in teaching her a few littles moves for those times she may have overestimated her date’s better qualities.”

Joe nodded his head, “Oh yeah, I sure did. She’s got them all--crotch grab, eye-gouge, keys through the finger and punch.” Phil winced through the list. “Plus, on date night, Jaques said he wanted to drop by for a game of backgammon, so loverboy will get to meet Uncle Jaques.”

“Dude, you don’t need this cloak. But Tanisha may need some long-term therapy when she’s older!”

Joe laughed, but
got serious. “Hey, watch your back in there. Remember to be nice to old, ugly people, and if something offers you advice, listen to it, no matter how weird!”

Tony nodded, then realized Joe couldn’t see her. “I’ve got Phil here as back up.”

Joe looked at him, eyes narrowed, and asked aggressively, “You’re not in the Bureau. Who are you?”

Phil raised his brows at Joe’s belligerent tone and answered arrogantly, “I am more than enough to take care of any need Detective Newman may have during th
is foray into the otherworlds.”

“Well, aren’t you special,” Joe started and Tony, sensing a high potential for bad outcomes for her buddy, interrupted.

“This is Mephistopheles,” she said, and reached out to grab Joe’s arm. The instant she touched him, the cloak’s spell ceased to work on him, and he saw the concern in her face. “He’s okay, and he’s, well, really old.”

Joe backed down immediately. Certain Beings had enough recognition that nothing else needed to be said. However, he looked at Phil, nodded, and reminded him,

“She’s an important asset to this district.” The implied threat came through.

“My dear sir,” Phil drawled, “she’s an important asset to more than the your district. I’ll brin
g our little lamb back intact.”

Joe stared at him for a moment, then nodded and looked over at Tony, “Talk to you later, yeah?”

She nodded and turned to pull Phil along. “Let’s get going. This thing is driving me nuts!” With that, she hiked the skirts of the cloak up as high as she could yet still maintain some semblance of dignity and then walked faster to the portal with Phil grinning as he followed behind her.