A Love So Deep (10 page)

R
ita
and Midnight Express started off with some real jazzy and swinging numbers. Couples hit the dance floor, lost in their own little worlds. Waitresses flitted back and forth in an attempt to keep glasses full. Women without partners danced by themselves, or with other women if the song dictated, especially when the Electric Slide was in order. The men who were not dancing held up the bar, engaging in light conversation with old buddies or women who sought other than a dance.

Graham finished his second glass and was making himself comfortable when Shelly appeared. “May I sit?” Shelly asked. Dropping her head slightly to the side, she bent over just enough for Graham to gaze upon her ample bosom.

“No, that seat is taken.”

“Well, I don’t see anyone sitting here.” Shelly sat anyway. “If they come back, I’ll be more than happy to get up.”

“Suit yourself.”

Shelly reached for the champagne, but Graham politely lifted her hand from the bottle before she could get a firm grasp. “What kind of man are you? Selfish little bastard. I’ve never been treated this way before. It’s evident you’ve never been with a woman of my caliber.”

“Maybe next time you can save face when someone tells you the table is occupied. And no, I’ve never been with a woman of
your caliber,
whatever that might happen to be.”

“You bastard,” Shelly hissed as Charlie rushed over to assist.

Charlie had sat in the corner observing his friend who for the last two months had all but given up on life because the love of his life, Amanda, had died. Now Graham was a revived gigolo and getting more action than Charlie had seen himself in months.

“Hey, buddy. I’ll take care of her,” Charlie said, giving Graham a wink and pulling Shelly away from the table. “Handle your business.”

“I will,” Graham mumbled back.

“No one asked for your assistance,” Shelly grumbled as Charlie led her away. “I can take care of myself and take your hands off of me.”

“Shelly, cut the crap and be glad somebody is paying you any attention.” Charlie loosed his grip on Shelly instructing her to sit at the bar, which she did without resistance. Shelly glanced back at Graham who had already turned his attention to Midnight Express and the lovely Rita, who was well on her way to making this night one to be talked about for a long time.

Graham tapped, sang along, and drank, enjoying the mood and the unforgettable love songs Rita cajoled her audience to partake in. Those in love seemed drunk from the fires that erupted when Rita sang. Yes, Rita sung the folks happy tonight. And those without a special someone now looked for someone they could get close to and ride the waves of love and lust—flying high from the melodies that Ms. Rita Long flung their way.

Graham waited patiently for Rita to come from her dressing room. He was smitten with the same fire. Rita was in his blood. People continued to chat long after Midnight Express completed its set. Charlie and Shelly had long since bid farewell, and Graham felt more at ease.

Rita emerged wearing a black, low-cut, cowl-neck slinky number that set off all of her curves. Graham hid his disappointment. It was not the gorgeous silver-and-black dress she wore earlier in the evening when she called out his name and sang songs of love to him, making him wait in anticipation to be close to her. However, disappointment evaporated quickly when she got up on him, so close he could smell her sweet perfume, making him want to drop his head in her bosom.

Rita looked down her long, thick eyelashes that spread out like fans. Graham finally looked up, willing himself up from his chair. Their faces were close enough to rub noses like Eskimos, and their breath left traces of fog between the fenceless boundary that separated their lips.

“You were wonderful tonight. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Why don’t we go somewhere that’s a little more private? And this time, I’ll buy the champagne.”

“I’d like that. Let me say goodnight to Clyde and the Midnight crew.”

“I’ll be waiting right here when you get back.” The grin on Graham’s face was as wide as a six-lane highway. No one could blame him; love had struck again, and it felt mighty good. Mighty, mighty good.

T
hey
drove through the heart of Oakland, going east on Interstate 580, eventually leaving the highway at 105th Avenue and venturing into the Oakland hills. The skyline provided a breathtaking view with thousands of tiny lights illuminating the sprawling city. And further west was the San Francisco Bay. The city was home to the Oakland Raiders and across the bay, the San Francisco 49ers. The Oakland/San Francisco Bay Bridge walked across the bay, a string of lights denoting its location. Aircraft came from all destinations across the U.S., Canada, and other foreign soil announcing their desire to land at either Oakland or San Francisco International airports.

A full moon illuminated the sky signaling the completion of its rotation for the month. Graham parked the car along the side of the road in the utmost part of the Oakland Hills that overlooked the city. He rolled down the window and sat close to Rita, little spots against the giant moon.
Rita feels so right
, Graham thought. He wondered what his daughters would think. It had been only two months since Amanda died.

Panic struck him straight in the heart.
What was he thinking? What would people think? And why would a beautiful woman want to be with a sixty-one-year-old man with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel? I’ve been with no other woman but my wife for the last forty years
, Graham thought.
Am I doing the right thing
?

Graham’s mind was racing. Now Amanda stood before him peering down at him and Rita while they watched the moon. ‘
Manda, baby
, Graham’s subconscious began,
I love you, and now that you’re gone, I don’t know how I’m
gonna make it. I thought that I could love no one but you, but someone else has found their way into my life, and I think I’m in love with her
. Graham was frightened by his own admission.

No disrespect,
‘
Manda, because you were my life, my reason for being, the mother of our children who gave me everything I could ever hope for in this life. I could never love another the way that I love you. But I hope you understand,
‘
Manda, that this thing with Rita will not replace the memories of you and our love, but will help me to go on and lead a normal life until I see you again.

I do believe I’m falling in love with Rita, and it’s only fair that I give her the best of what’s left in me, if that’s what she wants. Say you understand,
‘
Manda. I’ve been toiling with this a few days. I know that Deborah and Liz probably won’t understand. They’ll say, it’s too soon, that I’m disrespecting you, God, and the church. I know they’ll say that I’m an old fool, but if I have your blessing, it won’t matter what anyone else thinks. I’ll wait to hear from you,
‘
Manda.

Rita placed her hand on Graham’s arm. “You okay, Graham? You seem far away. You seem a little jittery all of a sudden.”

“Oh, I’m fine. Just thinking about how blessed I am.” Graham turned to face Rita who made him drunk just gazing upon her. “You’re a beautiful woman, Rita Long. I’m not sure that I deserve you.”

“And what makes you say that?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I guess I was just thinking…”

“About your wife?”

“How did you know?”

“It’s only natural. A lot of things cross your mind. Am I doing the right thing? What will people think? I was thinking, what would my mother and father say? It’s part of the human drama. I experienced a different death, but yet somewhat the same. You grieve, you resist new love, you question God, you resist, your heart softens, you give in a little, you resist, you give in some more, then some more, you give in, then you question if what you’ve just done was the right decision. Been there, done that.”

“Girl, you are too much for me. How did you become so wise?”

“Life’s lessons.”

Graham was silent—a fresh breeze hitting his face from the open window. His eyes roamed Rita’s face and she twitched under his gaze. He moved closer to her and opened his mouth, then moved back an inch. “May I kiss you, Ms. Rita Long? I’d love to kiss those sweet lips of yours.”

They giggled like teenagers until silence overtook them. Only the sounds of passionate kissing beat out the silence, the backdrop for a new kind of melody. They needed each other, and Graham knew that he would have to talk with Amanda again about this new event in his life.

After an early-morning breakfast at a local IHOP, Graham drove to Jack London Square where he and Rita walked along the marina. It was cool, and Graham took off his jacket and placed it around Rita’s shoulders. They walked slowly, sucking in the brisk air and the gentle breeze that rose from the water. The silhouette of the boats docked along the marina swayed in the water, casting shadows wherever the tall lampposts illuminated them.

Rita and Graham stole kisses as they walked, not wanting to miss an opportunity during the short time they had together.

“I still owe you that bottle of champagne.”

“Maybe tomorrow. It’s probably time for us to call it a morning; it’s three a.m.” She smiled.

“You’re probably right, in fact, I know you’re right. What was I thinking about…keeping a pretty girl out all night?” They laughed softly.

“You’re an incredible man, Graham. I’d really like to get to know you better.”

“I’d like to get to know you better, too, Rita Long. But right now, I had better get you back to your hotel.”

They walked silently, hand in hand toward the car, Rita’s back protected from the chilly breeze by Graham’s jacket. Rita paused, turned and smiled at Graham.

“New beginnings,” said Rita.

“There is life after death,” Graham whispered only loud enough for Rita to hear.

The pair stood, silently sharing this most perfect moment. Resurrection was at hand.

T
hursday
came and went. It was midday on Friday before Graham realized he had missed his fishing trip with Dexter and Bobby. Had they called? He would have to make it up to them. Now it was Saturday.

The last couple of days were completely consumed with Rita. She and Graham couldn’t get enough of each other. Graham was now a regular at The Water Hole with his own reserved table. He hadn’t missed a night of Rita’s performance. After hours, Graham and Rita talked late into the night over a light meal or on the phone after he’d dropped her off at her hotel. They shared thoughts on the future and snuck a telephone kiss here and there. They were in each other’s system.

Graham gave no further thought to what others might think or say. Rita had come into his life, and that was that. Even Charlie noticed the difference in Graham and purposely remained distant, feeling somewhat abandoned. It was just a phase. Surely, there would be someone else when Rita ventured to another city.

Rita would leave on Monday. It was now Saturday afternoon. A nagging thought had plagued Graham for two days. He wanted to bring Rita home. The home he once shared with Amanda and his girls. The home that held memories of him making love to the woman who captivated him for the last forty years. Memories of children born, of barbecues and great get-togethers, graduation picnics, memories of quiet nights of just he and Amanda, and memories of family and friends coming by to pay their last respects to a virtuous woman who gave him all the love that any one woman could give a man. He had a dilemma.

He wanted to share more of himself with Rita. He wanted her to know that his feelings were more than a lonely man in need of love. He wanted her to know what made him tick. Graham wanted Rita to know that he was falling in love with her, wanted to be with her, wanted her to stay with him so that he could take care of her and shield her from harm, and to make love to her.

These thoughts plagued him all night. Amanda must have been busy with her angelic duties or didn’t care, because she had not paid him a visit on the matter. Graham grabbed his coat and hurried out the door. He’d let nature take its course. Whatever nature dictated, he’d follow.

When Graham arrived at The Water Hole around 6:30 p.m., the parking lot was already half full. Charlie’s car was parked at the far end. Graham had ignored his friend the past few days, and when he got a chance, he’d go to Charlie to set things straight. Right now, he needed to be alone with Rita. Surely, Charlie could understand that.

“Hey, Graham!” Clyde yelled, giving Graham a high-five. “Got my girl’s nose open.”

“Clyde,” Graham whispered a little embarrassed at Clyde’s announcement. “I’m in love with her.”

“Oh,” Clyde said. “It’s worse than I thought. Congratulations, man, ‘cause she must be in love, too. I haven’t heard her sing like this in a long time. Go on in and have a good time. Talk with you later.”

“Yeah, Clyde.”

Graham was anxious to get away from Clyde. Graham was never a loud person. That was probably why it was important for him to separate himself from Charlie these last few days. Charlie was Mister Goodtime. Always the jokester, he never seemed to have a serious bone in his body. It was all right when they were growing up as kids and teenagers, and Charlie was his best buddy, but Graham didn’t entertain all the silly antics that were so characteristic of Charlie.

Everyone was dressed to the nines. It seemed the brothers had purchased every three-piece suit that was for sale: Black-and-white pin-stripes, blue-and-white pin-stripes, with fly-away collars and button-down jackets hiding matched silk vests accentuated by either Christian Dior or Calvin Klein ties. Likewise, Macy’s, Nordstrom, and Saks Fifth Avenue must have taken in an estimated $5,000 in African-American plastic to dress the sistahs who were laid out at The Water Hole on this evening.

The lighting was dim as Graham made his way through the dense crowd. He spotted Charlie, who turned his head when Graham looked his way. Talking with Charlie would be on his priority list. Some couples were already on the dance floor getting their groove on. Graham wanted to get to his table so he could get his own groove going.

No visitors stopped by Graham’s table to chat other than Natalie, and that was only to see if she could freshen his drink. Graham looked toward the bar, catching Charlie staring at him while a toothpick dangled from his lips. Graham motioned for him to come and sit. Charlie remained positioned at his post.

A rather plump, caramel-popcorn-colored woman strolled up to Graham’s table. “Sweetie, you wanna dance?”

“No, I’m fine. Maybe another time.”

“Come on, honey. I just love this song, and it’s going to be over in a minute.”

“Really, I’m not…on the other hand, I think I could stand to work up a little sweat.”

Shelly stood a few feet away with hands on her hips and watched as Graham and the pleasingly plump lady whirled onto the dance floor. After a minute, suddenly tiring of her watch, she strolled over to Charlie at the bar, gingerly planting a kiss on his lips that he did not return.

Graham danced for three numbers and rather enjoyed himself but begged out with the announcement that Rita Long and Midnight Express would be on in a few minutes. Graham scrambled to his chair and wiped his forehead of sweat with a handkerchief. He picked up the chilled bottle of champagne and cradled it in his hand. He was drinking an awful lot of the stuff lately but a little wouldn’t hurt.

The crowd was thunderous as they gave a hearty clap to Rita and Midnight Express. Whistling sounds could be heard above the clapping. Everyone seemed alive and vibrant. Local talent stopped by to catch a glimpse of Rita and drink up the sounds, old and new, she threw their way. Swirls of smoke like cumulus clouds enveloped the place as Newports, Camels, and Marlboros dangled from the sides of mouths that all the while engaged in conversation that had lips moving ninety miles an hour. Glasses clinking as Johnnie Walker and Southern Comfort hit the rocks only added to the sound of gaiety.

Rita belted out song after song utilizing every inch of her vocal chords, provoking some to take a walk down memory lane, others to whisper sweet nothings in their lover’s ears, and some to just move with the groove.

During intermission, Rita came and sat with Graham whose eyes swallowed her whole in all her radiant splendor. Rita had chosen a swanky, slate-blue chiffon, sleeveless dress with matching sling-back pumps. A bold, platinum necklace with a two-carat diamond-teardrop pendant hung proudly around her neck with a half-carat each, teardrop pendant earrings secure on her small ear lobes. Rita wore a fiery-red lipstick that made her dark complexion come alive, and her long, thick lashes played foreground for the silver-blue background that enhanced her almond-shaped eyes two-fold.

“You look good enough to eat, and I’m hungry.” Graham laughed nervously, trying his stint at being funny.

“They don’t call me the chocolate diva for nothing, but I hope you’ll settle for a Snickers bar instead.” Graham and Rita broke out laughing.

Rita sat down and took a sip of Graham’s champagne. “Where has Charlie been? I thought the two of you were best friends.”

“We are, but I believe Charlie is a tad bit jealous. I’m going to talk to him. I do rather like having you all to myself, though. That might sound selfish, but that’s how I feel.”

“I’d be telling a lie if I said I didn’t like having you to myself. I’m sure Charlie will come around—especially if he’s a good friend like you say.”

“Don’t worry about Charlie. He’ll be all right next week.”

Graham watched Rita as she searched his eyes for the meaning of that statement, but he offered no further explanation and turned his attention to the dancers on the floor. Graham and Rita made small talk, taking small sips of champagne and gawking at each other as if trying to set a Guinness Book world record for the time a couple could stare at each other.

“Gotta run, sweetie. The band’s getting ready to go back on in a couple of minutes.”

“Don’t be longggggg,” Graham admonished.

Rita blew him a kiss, and he watched her cross the dance floor and disappear behind the curtain to rejoin the band. Graham couldn’t wait for tonight’s set to be over. He was going to ask Rita to come home with him. It was decided. Amanda had given him her blessing; at least Graham believed she had.

The next couple of hours were a blur as the dizzying dancers grooved to the soulful sounds of Midnight Express, and laughter and chatter surrounded Graham. Charlie lowered his head on the few occasions Graham happened to look in his direction. It didn’t matter. Graham wasn’t interested in making amends tonight. He wanted to be distraction free when it was time to whisk Rita away to the night he had planned.

Rita announced her last number and gave a rousing rendition of “The Look of Love.” Every inch of the dance floor was covered by panting lovers drinking in every word Rita sang hoping to hold on to some of the allure—long enough to take it home, or wherever they might end up, so they could continue their session, lost in their passion, in the electricity of their love making.

Nerves wracked Graham’s body. His hands began to sweat and his stomach felt queasy at the thought of asking Rita home. He wasn’t sure why his body decided to act up on him now. But he was sure of one thing. He wanted to forge ahead with his plans, and that included an intimate evening with Rita.

Graham was poised when Rita emerged from behind the stage still dressed in the slate-blue chiffon dress Graham had admired all evening. She pecked him on the lips, and Graham blushed.

“You were wonderful as always,” Graham acknowledged.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Rita whispered. He had her rapt attention.

Graham pulled himself together internally and externally, licked his lips, and turned toward Rita. He caressed her chin and turned it in his direction. “I’d like to take you home tonight.”

Rita’s body refused to move. “I’m not sure that I heard you correctly, but there was no mistaking your words. Go home tonight? Are you sure about this? Are you ready for that step, Graham?”

With a grin on his face, he touched her lightly on the arms and looked straight into her eyes. “I’ve been ready ever since I met you.”

Now it was out. Graham breathed a sigh of relief, not quite believing he had actually said it. He was relieved, though, when he saw the bright smile that lit across Rita’s face, even at three in the morning.

It was too dark to see much, but from what Rita could make out by the light of the moon, it seemed to be a cozy neighborhood. Most houses in California were made of stucco, but in the Pacific Northwest, the majority of homes were made of wood, possibly due to the overabundance of trees. And although Graham had been down Chester Street more times than his mathematical skills could compute, it seemed to light up as he and his new queen paraded down the street in Graham’s 1988 Buick Regal. Most house-lights were out in the neighborhood, and the nosy neighbors were asleep.

Graham turned into his driveway, tapping the remote for the electric garage door he had installed a year ago. They sat more than a few moments after Graham cut off the ignition unsure, if not nervous, about the step they were getting ready to make.

“It’s now or never,” Graham said more to himself than to Rita while he opened the door on the driver’s side.

Graham walked around to the passenger’s side gently opening the door to assist Rita. Rita seemed reluctant. When her feet touched the ground, she froze almost as if she had stepped in a puddle of quick-drying cement. A reassuring hand took hers and led her to the door.