3 Heads & a Tail (6 page)

“
I bet!
”

Ben wondered if
Josie
had a boyfriend, but he daren
'
t as
k. T
he timing wasn
'
t righ
t.
She had only just moved in.
Glen was looking at him
quizzical
ly with an odd look in his eyes
. Must have been the bang up the tree, he thought. Then he imagined the dog wearing glasse
s
and he started grinning.

“
What
'
s so funny?
”
asked Josie.

“
I was just imagining Glen wearing
specs
so he
can
see trees!
”

“
Ah,
”
said Josie,
“
p
oor Glen!
”
She jumped up,
patted the dog, and ran a
short
distance away. Glen took the bait and leapt up, charging after her, barking softly. Josie giggled and spun round in a circle, with the dog following her lead. Soon he
'
d given up and was chasing his tail, so she began to chase round after it.

Ben laughe
d.
She was cool and Glen obviously thought so too. Silently
wishing he had asked her out, but knowing the moment had passed,
Ben stood up and watched the two pl
ayers
chasing around the grass
for a seco
n
d before heading over to join in the
crazy
dance
.

Josie woke up with a start
. She peered
over
the top of
her
duvet, squinting at the sun stre
aming through the curtains – so
much for a lie-in. The sound of
that damn
bass guitar vibrated along the ceiling, accompanied by some
thumping
.
It was Sunday!
What exactly was he doing? Stamping up and down in time with it?

She pulled the duvet over her head and buried her face in the pillow. She
really
had to
invest in some earplugs –
super-
streng
t
h
. Closing her eyes, she tried to return to the dream, but she couldn
'
t. Smiling
,
she
decided
to think
about
Joh
n
n
y
Depp... naked, i
n the shower
, his body glistening with water
.
Sod
'
s law was that by the time she got to the interesting bit, she would drop off to sleep. One, two, he was taking off his shirt…

Wee-eee-ooo-ee
e
, the bass suddenly screamed in
a high-pitched
wail
. Jo
h
nny Depp jumped in fright and vanished from her imaginati
on. Ppf
f! He
was gone
. That was it! Enough! She wasn
'
t going to listen
to th
at
racket
all morning
. T
hat was really taking the piss. It sounded
like an elephant playing with his trunk and stomping. She
kicked off
the duvet, slouched out of bed in a grump, grabbed her dressing gown and slipped her feet into her slippers.

She didn
'
t stop to check the mirror to see if she had
bad
bed hair, but opened her bedroom door and
stomped
up the steep steps to the attic room. At the top, she balanced precariously while holdi
ng on to the rail with one hand
and knocking
loudly with the other.
When there was no reply
she
knocked louder – still
nothing. He p
robably couldn
'
t hear above that really a
nnoying noise. S
he rapped the hatch as hard as she could.

There came
a whining sound from t
he other end of the landing. Oo
ps
,
I
must have woken the dog, but then maybe he was awake anyway
,
she thought. Nothing could sleep through that, surely. How
did Ben cope with that every weekend
? She
guess
ed
he
must be a heavy sleeper
.

“
Coming!
”
called a voice from beyond the hatch.
“
Wait a sec!
”

Josie stepped backwards
,
down a step or two, straightened her robe, and held on to the two staircase rails.

The hatch opened and Davi
d stuck his head out. He looked immaculate. There was n
ot a hair out
of place as he
gave a big
smile of perfect
,
white g
nashers
.
“
What
'
s up?
”

“
I am!
”
said Josie,
more angrily than she had planned.

“
You are?
”
a
sked David.
“
I don
'
t understand.
”

“
I am
up
because you wo
ke me with your bloody guitar! W
ho plays bass at 7am on a Sunday
morning?
Weirdos?!
”

“
Sorry, I…
”

“
And you woke me yesterday morning,
”
said Josie, not let
ting him get a word in edgeways.
“
I
'
ve
only
just moved
in! My job is knackering
and I really need my sleep!
”

“
S
-s
orry, b
-b
ut,
”
stammered David, unused to being spoken to in such a way
by a woman
, although
he thought
she looked kind o
f cute with that messed up
hair
and
those furry slippers
.

“
P
lease stop o
r put
some damn head
phones on
, like normal people
!
”
finished Josie
, before turning and stomping down the steps. Except it was more of a tripping motion than a stomp, as she
slid and
whizzed down
a few steps, before grabbing
the rail at the end to stop
herself
falling over. She
stamped
into her room and slammed the door.
That told him. She flopped on to her
bed and buried
her head under
the duvet.

At
the opposite end of the landing, Ben
'
s door opened and he popped his ruffled head out, followed by Glen, who poked his
own
head out between his owner
'
s legs.
“
What was all that about?
”

“
Er
m
,
I woke her up,
”
said David,
a bit
stunned
.

“
I don
'
t think she was impressed!
”
replied Ben, shaking his head.
“
Maybe get some headphones!
”

“
That
'
s what she said!
”
David was still
amazed
at
the way
Josie
had spoken to him. He was used to getting his own way with women. Butter wouldn
'
t melt in his mouth, his mother used to say.

“
S
ee you later, I
'
m mashed!
”
mumbled Ben, disappearing
back into his room.

The following week was pretty uneventful. Jos
ie was working late hours
, rushin
g to get the latest edition of
Nature
'
s Way
out before the
Friday deadline. S
he was so tired
every evening
that she was grabbing a bowl of cereal, taking it to her room, and collapsing asleep within half an hour. The house was quiet, except for the faint murmur of Ben
'
s bluesy music and the odd woof from the furry one. All passed peacefully
until
it was
once again
the start of the welcome weekend
.

On the Friday night, Josie found herself
dreading going to b
ed, afraid of being
woken by Mr Bass Killer.
She
had managed to avoid him
all week
,
but
knew she was going to have to speak to him sooner or later.
I
f he woke her in the morning she might actually brain him with his own guitar
,
or at least shove his pe
rfect head up his perfect ass. S
he
fell
into a deep sleep with a big grin on her face at the thought.

The next morning,
Josie woke
refreshed, but surprised. L
ight
streamed
t
hrough the curtains, birds tweeted
outside her window and besides that she could hear nothing. No bass, no stomping.
Lovely!
Smiling, she flicked her feet out of the duvet, slipped on her slippers and robe,
and
collected h
er bath things
. No so
oner had she opened her door tha
n David
'
s head appeared from
the hatch to his room.
She jumped, a bit surprised.
Had he been
listening
for the sound of her door?

“
Hi,
”
he said, a
little
less confident
ly
than usual, but still
doing
the flicking
hair thing.
“
Did you sleep
well
?
”

Josie, embarrassed,
hugged h
er things closer
to her chest
.
“
Yes, I did.
”

“
Good,
”
smiled David.
“
I was a bit worried after what you said. I decided to take your advice and use headphones. I didn
'
t want
to totally piss off my new house
mate!
”

Josie looked down at her feet, encased in fluffy purple slippers. Not so cool.
“
That
'
s fine,
”
she said.
“
Don
'
t worry about it. I
'
m sorry if I was snappy, but I get really crabby if I don
'
t get my sleep. I
'
m like a bear with a bad head!
”

“
I
'
m happy everything is
good
. I thought you might be avoiding me!
”

“
Me? No,
”
she lied, suspecting
he wasn
'
t used to being avoided by
the female sex
.
“
I
'
m just going to shower.
”