04 - Born to be Wilde.txt (42 page)

He scrubbed a hand along his jaw and silently cursed himself for being such an idiot.

"Don't think about it anymore, Wilde Man, just do it," Ben urged, as if sensing Joel's hesitation and internal turmoil. "Beg, grovel, and do whatever it takes, but go get the girl already, before some other guy comes along and realizes what a catch she is."

The thought of another man so much as touching Lora spurred Joel to action, and he flipped open his cell phone and made the call for a cab, and was promised one would arrive within the next ten minutes. With his decision made, and now anxious to get to Lora as quickly as possible, he knew it would feel like ten hours.

He tucked the unit back onto his waistband and turned back to Ben, realizing his friend was still standing there when he should have been inside tucking dollar bills into G-strings and enjoying a lap dance or two. Yet here he was, keeping Joel company outside where it was cold and not nearly as entertaining. Which made him wonder, once again, what was up with Ben.

"I noticed you weren't all that into those strippers, either," Joel commented, just to see what kind of reaction he got out of his friend.

The other man shrugged. "I've got a lot on my mind."

Joel grinned. "A woman?"

"Maybe," Ben replied, not giving anything away.

Joel took that as a yes, but didn't press for details, because he of all people knew and understood how a woman could tie a guy up in a dozen different knots. Instead, he laughed, needing a dose of humor to help him get through the next few hours ahead. "What a sorry pair we make, huh?"

A slight smile curved Ben's mouth. "You're in sorrier shape than I am."

Joel grinned, and couldn't argue the truth. "Hopefully not for long."

Chapter Twenty

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LORA cleared off her section of tables, more than a little relieved that Sydney had cut her loose for the night first, before any of the other bar waitresses. Even though it was a Saturday evening, the initial early rush had ebbed into a comfortable pace, one that the other employees could easily keep up with. And with one less waitress on board, it meant more tips for them.

She was exhausted, emotionally and physically, and she just wanted to go home and crash for the rest of the night and through tomorrow. Thank God Sunday was her day off from both the bar and spa, and she planned to take advantage of that fact and sleep in until noon. Maybe after she got up, she and Cassie could go and rent a movie, hang out together, and order in a pizza, which would also give Sydney some time alone with Daniel, which she knew her friend always appreciated.

As Lora headed back toward the bar with a tray full of dirty glasses and empty beer bottles, her gaze drifted to the opposite end of the counter and the chair that had become exclusively Daniel's on the weekends. Whenever Sydney worked a Saturday or Sunday, Daniel was always there, if only to support her with his presence and enjoy her seductive dancing on top of the bar, which she did just for him.

At the moment, Sydney was standing at the other side of the bar in front of Daniel, talking and laughing at something he said while she blended a frothy drink. It was so obvious that Daniel adored Sydney despite her tarnished past, and Lora couldn't remember ever seeing her friend so cheerful, upbeat, and genuinely content with her life. Not to mention being a much calmer and more understanding mother to Cassie. And Daniel was a huge part of the reason for all those positive changes, she knew.

But for as much as Lora was thrilled for Sydney, because she deserved every bit of happiness that had come her way, there were times when she experienced a pang of envy, too, because she could have had the same kind of close, intimate relationship with Joel if he'd just given them a chance.

Sighing, she sidled up to the bar and unloaded the glasses from her tray. It had been three long, lonely weeks since Joel had packed his bags and walked out of her life after she'd put her heart on the line for him, and while the saying went "time heals all wounds," she was pretty sure this was one ache that would take a lifetime to mend.

A few days after Joel had left her, she'd received a package from Wilde Designs, and was shocked to discover that he'd bought her the "Midsummer Dream" stained glass design she'd fallen in love with. He'd included a short note with the gift: I wanted you to have this. Always, Joel.

The message had been too brief and impersonal, and it only served to cement the fact that he'd shut down his emotions when it came to her, just like he had with everything else in his life. The realization hurt deeply, and she only wished that work, and lots of it, would take away or at least dull the pain. But so far, no such luck.

After wiping down her tray and putting it on a shelf behind the bar, she went and retrieved her coat and purse, then said good night to Sydney and Daniel and headed out the front door to go to her car. Except as she walked outside into the cool night air, she came to an abrupt stop when she caught sight of Joel, who was leaning casually against his big black motorcycle, dressed in his signature black jeans, T-shirt, and leather jacket.

Her breath seemed to leave her lungs in a whoosh. With his short hair mussed and his arms crossed loosely over his broad chest, he looked gorgeous and sexier than even she remembered. He watched her intently with those dark blue eyes that had the ability to make her melt, and her heart started pounding hard and fast in her chest.

"Hey there," he said, his voice low and a little gruff.

She searched his eyes and expression for some kind of indication of why he was there, but couldn't find the answer she was looking for. "Hi," she returned, and strolled closer, trying to keep everything casual and friendly between them. Considering what Joel had done for her brother, chances were they'd run into one another every now and then. And, there was no reason not to keep things amicable between them. "How are you?"

"Good." He inclined his dark head. "And you?"

"Tired," she replied honestly, and with a small smile. "It's been a long night." For that matter, it had been the longest three weeks of her life without him in it, but she kept that comment to herself. "Thank you again for the stained glass design you had sent to me. I truly love it, but you shouldn't have." She knew it hadn't been cheap, even with his sister's discount.

"You're welcome, and I wanted you to have it."

After receiving the gift, she'd left a message on his cell phone thanking him for present, and when she never heard back from him she could only assume that had been his polite way of severing their relationship. But now, here he was, and she had no idea why.

She shifted on her sore feet and adjusted the strap of her purse over her shoulder, striving to maintain a sociable and cheerful attitude when she was feeling anything but. "So, what brings you by The Electric Blue?"

"I came to talk to you."

"Oh." Again, his features were completely unreadable, and while she wanted to believe he was there for her, she wasn't about to make any assumptions. Most likely, he just wanted to give her an update on Zach and how he was doing in rehab.

She wondered why he hadn't come inside the bar, especially since he had no idea when her shift ended. "Have you been waiting out here for me very long?" she asked curiously.

"Awhile. Doesn't matter. I would have waited all night for you if I had to."

His words held a double meaning, which threw her completely off kilter, because she wasn't sure what, exactly, to make of his reply.

He straightened, reached for the spare helmet hooked on his bike, and held it out to her. "Can I sway you into going on a ride with me so we can go somewhere quiet and private to talk?" Apprehensive hope shone in his eyes.

The smart thing to do was to tell him no, because she knew being alone with him and not being able to touch him the way she wanted to, would be pure torture. But she was merely a woman, and love made her weak. Her heart said to take whatever time she could get with him, and she followed that internal voice now.

"Sure." She put the helmet on, and just like the first time he'd taken her for a ride, he bundled her up in a scarf and gloves to help keep her warm.

Then he grinned down at her. "Fast and intense, or slow and easy?" he asked, a teasing light entering his gaze. "It's your choice."

More double entendres, and because she wanted to believe that his comment was about more than just how fast his motorcycle could go, she opted for a more intimate and lasting choice. "I think this time I'd like to take things slow and easy."

"That sounds perfect to me," he agreed, and within minutes they were on the road, taking a leisurely ride through the city.

Sitting behind Joel with her arms wrapped around his waist, she closed her eyes and absorbed everything about the man in front of her. The heat of his body, and the strength of his hips and legs between her thighs as she sat astride him. She relaxed and enjoyed the ride, and before long they were pulling off the main road and onto a familiar pathway that led to a private, secluded area.

He turned off the engine, and she slid off the seat and took off her helmet while Joel set the kickstand, then got off the motorcycle, too. All at once she was flooded with vivid and provocative memories of the last time they'd been in this exact spot, when she'd seduced him on the front seat of his bike.

She inhaled a deep breath and turned to face Joel. "Why did you bring me here?" she asked, needing to know what this was all about. And, especially, what was on his mind.

A tentative smile eased up the corners of his mouth. "It's a nice, quiet, makeout spot, don't you think?"

Remembering how she'd insinuated the same thing the first time he'd brought her here over a month ago, warmth spiraled straight to her stomach. "Seriously, Joel."

His smile faded, and his expression turned sincere. "I brought you here because it's our spot."

Her chest grew tight with a wealth of hope. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's always been my spot, a place where I'd go when I wanted to be alone and think. But then I brought you here, and that changed everything," he said gently. "You changed everything."

She swallowed hard. "How?"

"God, where do I start?" he said with a laugh that sounded as rough as sandpaper. But somehow, he found a way to explain. "When I first agreed to protect you for Zach, you were just an assignment, even though I was very attracted to you. But right from the very beginning, you had a way of seeing through me like no one else ever has, and that scared the crap out of me."

He braced his hands on his hips and paused a moment, as if gathering his thoughts. "When my mother died, I just shut down emotionally, and that's how I coped with things, by keeping my distance and telling myself I didn't need anyone in my life." He tipped his head, a hint of that boyish smile of his making an appearance. "But you already know all this about me, don't you?"

She nodded. "Yes," she whispered.

"And you know why?" he asked as he slowly closed the distance between them. "Because you've cared more about me than any one else ever has. You're the only person who scratched deeper than the surface layers, and the things you exposed weren't always pleasant."

He stopped inches away from her, his eyes gleaming in the moonlit shadows as his gaze connected intimately with hers. "But, looking back, it was like cleaning out an infected wound in order for it to heal. And you did that for me, Lora. You coerced me to open up and purge the pain, even though I did everything to resist you and your attempts. You made me face the past and deal with it for the first time in my life. But mostly, you forced me to feel more than I have since I was a kid."

Reaching out, he skimmed his warm fingers along her jaw, then cupped her cheek in his warm palm. "How can I not love such a selfless, generous, caring woman like you? The thing is, I can't," he said, his deep voice raspy with emotion. "I can't not love you, and I can't live without you."

He loved her. Lora's breath caught in her throat, and tears of joy filled her eyes. "I knew you loved me," she said, her voice thick with those unshed tears. "It just took you a little longer to figure it out."

He laughed, the sound light and carefree, and ringing with undiluted happiness. "Yeah, you're a real know-it-all, aren't you?"

He swiped at a tear that had fallen while she gave him a sassy grin. "When it comes to you, yes."

Gently, he rubbed his thumb across her bottom lip, his eyes darkening with desire when she followed the touch with her tongue. "I don't want to be alone anymore, Lora," he said huskily, earnestly. "I don't want to be that man always standing on the outside. There's only one person I belong with, and that's you, because I can't function worth a damn without you in my life."

She'd never heard sweeter words, or such a heartfelt declaration, and she knew that Joel had finally stepped out of the shadows, and had finally stopped running. "So, are you saying that you're done playing it safe with your heart and relationships?"

"I'm done playing it safe with you," he said adamantly. "For you, I'm risking it all." He framed her face in his hands and stared so deeply into her eyes she felt as though he was a part of her soul. "I love you, Lora Marshall. Will you marry me?"

She didn't have to think twice, and she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him enthusiastically. "Yes, I'll marry you," she said, dizzy with elation. "Yes, yes, a hundred times, yes!"